So let me tell you a terrible tale. Behind my house, there is a hill that leads to a deep creek. There are plenty of trees, and tall grass. As you know, this is the triangle of ticks. When you combine all three, you get a crapload of ticks.
Now I take all the necessary precautions for this, including wearing jeans, and tucking them into my shoes, along with a tucked in shirt. I also where a sports cup. Not just for the ticks, but for them pesky seagulls that come down and bite at your testicles. I don't know about you, but that stuff hurts.
So I thought I was safe. But later that day, I started fapping to my usual hentai, when I release my hand for a sec, I see an unusual black dot on my thingy. So apon further inspection, I see it is a tick. Close to this ([url]http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/tick.jpg[/url]). That was how big it was to.
The first thought that came to mind was not of the risk of infection, or how much blood I have lost. No, it was me wondering for twenty minutes if this counts as sex. I mean he is sucking (blood out of) my dick. So I quickly get a lighter, because I want to get this pesky bugger off as soon as I can. What I forgot was that before every fap, I like spray close to my desk with febrezze. Apparently, a lot fell on my willy, so as soon as I got that lighter close enough, my ding-dong caught on fire.
It was a small fire, not above an inch high, but dammit, it hurt like a bitch. So what did I do?
I panicked. I ran around the room, penis on fire, pants at my ankles, like an idiot. After 30 seconds, the fire went out. I didn't see a tick anymore, so I figured I was all good. I happily went back to fapping, but I couldn't. It hurt. Now skin is coming off from that area more then my immense amounts of dandruff.
Also, my pubes totally aren't really there anymore. Damn.
tl;dr - Tick on my dick, used lighter, willy caught on fire, pubes gone.
Crappy MSpaint. I have 0 skill with this. Now a comic.
[IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/2l8yamr.jpg[/IMG]
i had a tick on my dick once, i was like 5 years old.
Hell of a time getting it out.. :(
Edit, by the way just because you had a tick on your dick, that doesnt explain your incredibly small penis size.
You're surprised that a fire on skin level caused damage,[i] to your skin?[/i]
I don't care how bad the risk for infection is. If I ever see a tick on my dick I'm ripping the fucker off.
[QUOTE=wuzzimu;21457950]You're surprised that a fire on skin level caused damage,[i] to your skin?[/i][/QUOTE]
And some of my urethra. IT BURNS!
[QUOTE=Ithae;21457928]Don't judge me. I'm heterosexual.[/QUOTE]
That makes about as much sense as a gay man watching a woman's striptease.
You lit your dick on fire.
That's amazing.
[editline]09:57PM[/editline]
If you can't take the heat don't burn your penis with a lighter.
Tick on my Dick? Sperm in my Eye?
Oh my!
What a collection of important threads we seem to have today.
Any particular reason everyone loves to try and burn ticks off? I've never had any problem pulling them off with tweezers, just don't rip their head off and leave it under your skin.
Well, now you're all shaven.
'Hot'
0/10, don't become a writer or a comedian
I bet that ticked you off.
if the tick was on the tip, then FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
[QUOTE=Billiam;21458024]I bet that ticked you off.[/QUOTE]
I see what you did there. It did though.
You don't fucking burn it off. Burning it causes it to regurgitate all the shit they have inside of them before dying. You don't want that.
Oh man. That must have really sucked dick.
[QUOTE=Penguiin;21458018]0/10, don't become a writer or a comedian[/QUOTE]
Writer? What are you talking about? This is a true story.
You should cosplay as a tick
[QUOTE=Bathingrapes;21458090]You should cosplay as a tick[/QUOTE]
No way man. If I wear a tick outfit, it will be close to my penis, and we can't have that. And I try to bulge out forward the area near that, I'll look like a douche-bag.
I love how you pay no attention to the fact that I just told you the tick puked its guts out into your dick.
needs MSpaint comic
[QUOTE=OCELOT323;21458194]needs MSpaint comic[/QUOTE]
I deliver
Amazing.
This thread was a good read.
[QUOTE=Ithae;21458256]I deliver[/QUOTE]
that isnt a comic
i am dissapoint
It's supposed to be really badly drawn, for added comedic effect
I shall do it. Don't worry.
-snip-
fucking ninja-ed
[QUOTE=zydos;21458333]I shall do it. Don't worry.[/QUOTE]
make sure to have a shitload of artifacts and no AA
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