• I need help
    9 replies, posted
I have no idea where to post this but Im truly scared. I have no idea what im doing. I feel like suicide is the only way out. I cant take the constant mental torture from my sons mother. Shes tsken everything from me. I feel like skin and bones when I try to do anything. Im a wreck. I constantly torture myself with my own thoughts and fears and whats to come and whats not to come. It all started after my sons mother cheated on me. Ive just felt worthless. Shes already had me falsely accused and jailed for almost half a year. Shes tortured my soul. My childhood was enough. I cant stop shaking. I want to die. I'e already tried and my pathetic attempt to end my pathetic life failed. Just like everything else. Idk why im even posting this. Why the fuck is anyone going to care on a gaming forum. Nonody else will even listen. Nobody else will give me time. Nobody cares. [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Didn't read the sticky - UTT" - Craptasket))[/highlight]
No no no, stop. You can't do that. You can't make a cry for help like this and leave us. You owe us this much and stay if this is a cry for help. People who come out and say these kinds of things don't truly want to die, they're looking for a solution. I would know, I was there. I'm not helping you by saying, "Everything is going to be okay." because the reason you're, saying this is because thing's aren't okay. Talk it all out, we'll eventually reach a positive solution though. I saw someone's body in front of me, after they had committed suicide. I didn't even know the person but it haunts me. I will be speechless if I find you've left us, and I don't even know you. You need to stay, for all the people who do love you and for all the people who are reading this now. No one is happy to see this kind of thing happen, to anyone.
I'm just confused. I feel no worth. I feel as if my son might see his moms nee boyfriend as a father figure. I'm so maxed out on emotion right now I cant think straight. I just got laid off. I have no job. Thanks to her im a felon. Im just an ordinary guy. Never got in any fights besides jail. Jail broke me. It took who I was and reshaped my purpose. I feel sick to my stomach almost every hour of the day. Its hard thinking about suicide when I have my son. Just thinking about him makes me feel like a monster for even considering it. Im just tired. I cant take the constant crying and self hatred. Im going no where in life. I have no one to talk too or even try to explain my thoughts or situation too. I posted a thread on here a long time ago.about my 3 months in jail. Well ever since then.i've tried my hardest to be happy. I tried my hardest to smile and forget about what happened.. But it fucking haunts me. I have nightmares every other night if.not every night. I constantly fear that for some reason ill get arrested again for nothing. I would explain the going to jail for nothing thing but it would take hours to type on my cell phone. [editline]4th December 2015[/editline] [url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1276629[/url]
I think you need to look into this. I mean legally. At this point, it's not trying to stop yourself from being upset, but it's about pushing forward. No one expects you to feel a certain way, especially not happy. Just let your emotions take its course and realize [B]you are in control.[/B] Your emotions are vital, but they do not dictate you. You have some important choices to make right now, but I know you'll make the right ones. Someone better suited in how the legal side of this is dealt with should say some things, I'm not very well equipped with that. I know how you feel though. That pit in your gut, the feeling of dread constantly following you and threatening to be the last straw at any given moment. Again though, you are in control. You need to find your bearings and get yourself on the right path. I know you feel lost but you need to keep looking in order to make things better. You constantly say you feel, or you think but that's just it. It's not about feelings at this point. You need to KNOW your son is your son and nothing can change that, and that your life is in your hands still. Just don't give up, and please just realize how importance your place in life is.
[QUOTE=White;49243727]I'm just confused. I feel no worth. I feel as if my son might see his moms nee boyfriend as a father figure. I'm so maxed out on emotion right now I cant think straight. I just got laid off. I have no job. Thanks to her im a felon. Im just an ordinary guy. Never got in any fights besides jail. Jail broke me. It took who I was and reshaped my purpose. I feel sick to my stomach almost every hour of the day. Its hard thinking about suicide when I have my son. Just thinking about him makes me feel like a monster for even considering it. Im just tired. I cant take the constant crying and self hatred. Im going no where in life. I have no one to talk too or even try to explain my thoughts or situation too. I posted a thread on here a long time ago.about my 3 months in jail. Well ever since then.i've tried my hardest to be happy. I tried my hardest to smile and forget about what happened.. But it fucking haunts me. I have nightmares every other night if.not every night. I constantly fear that for some reason ill get arrested again for nothing. I would explain the going to jail for nothing thing but it would take hours to type on my cell phone. [editline]4th December 2015[/editline] [URL]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1276629[/URL][/QUOTE] Please don't leave man, don't leave your son. I don't have my dad anymore and it's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I've wanted to kill myself before too. I've cut myself, hit myself, completely emotionally fucked myself, but here I am right now talking to you and I feel good. Your current situation isn't your final destination. It's gonna sound extremely obvious but see a doctor. You don't have to get on antidepressants or anything, but I promise you that I can credit benzodiazepines to almost saving my life. You're really on edge right now and these are meant to calm you down and clear your head. I think ultimately you just need someone to talk to and there are more than enough people on this forum that are willing to offer you their ears including me, I promise that. Just stay, even if it's just for right now. Truly think things over and get it all off your chest before you make any decisions. I swear on everything that your emotions are temporary and fleeting. Do not attach yourself to them. Feel what you have to feel.
[QUOTE=White;49243727]I have no one to talk too or even try to explain my thoughts or situation too.[/QUOTE] You're wrong. There are people waiting to talk to people in just the kind of situation you're in. You can talk to them and they'll treat you with respect. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline right now at 1-800-273-8255. I am NOT fucking joking. That number is staffed 24/7 by people who will talk with you and, most importantly, listen. They may not have all the solutions, but they are trained to be there to help and are reliable. They can help you figure out the next step. Please call. It's clear you don't want to give up.
[QUOTE=White;49243618]I have no idea where to post this but Im truly scared. I have no idea what im doing. I feel like suicide is the only way out. I cant take the constant mental torture from my sons mother. Shes tsken everything from me. I feel like skin and bones when I try to do anything. Im a wreck. I constantly torture myself with my own thoughts and fears and whats to come and whats not to come. It all started after my sons mother cheated on me. Ive just felt worthless. Shes already had me falsely accused and jailed for almost half a year. Shes tortured my soul. My childhood was enough. I cant stop shaking. I want to die. I'e already tried and my pathetic attempt to end my pathetic life failed. Just like everything else. Idk why im even posting this. Why the fuck is anyone going to care on a gaming forum. Nonody else will even listen. Nobody else will give me time. Nobody cares.[/QUOTE] Hey man have you tried to re-read through that "I was in jail" thread you wrote? theres some things in there that I believe you still can hold onto, you have the capabilty to stay strong even through your own diversity and thats makes you a better man than me I have to say if what you said in that thread is true. You seem like a good all round guy, you just got screwed by the system, but at the same time it made you better. Im going to quote you: [b]"I went in a little confused man without a real heart. I'm now as strong as steel in my mind, heart and body." [/b] If you can be that once you can do it again man, you're extremely strong and a survivor so don't give up on us.
[QUOTE=elixwhitetail;49243779]You're wrong. There are people waiting to talk to people in just the kind of situation you're in. You can talk to them and they'll treat you with respect. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline right now at 1-800-273-8255. I am NOT fucking joking. That number is staffed 24/7 by people who will talk with you and, most importantly, listen. They may not have all the solutions, but they are trained to be there to help and are reliable. They can help you figure out the next step. Please call. It's clear you don't want to give up.[/QUOTE] I'd like to hop in on this and also give out a texting crisis number. A lot of people aren't so ecstatic about talking to a stranger over the phone during these types of situations. I definitely wasn't. If you text "GO" to 741-741 then you can get in touch with someone who will just talk you through whatever it is you're struggling with. It only works with US numbers as of now but it is free.
[QUOTE=IceBlizzerd;49243790]Hey man have you tried to re-read through that "I was in jail" thread you wrote? theres some things in there that I believe you still can hold onto, you have the capabilty to stay strong even through your own diversity and thats makes you a better man than me I have to say if what you said in that thread is true. You seem like a good all round guy, you just got screwed by the system, but at the same time it made you better. Im going to quote you: [b]"I went in a little confused man without a real heart. I'm now as strong as steel in my mind, heart and body." [/b] If you can be that once you can do it again man, you're extremely strong and a survivor so don't give up on us.[/QUOTE] This. You've overcome being in jail. You've overcome the feeling of being depressed before. This is just another phase. Something you can get through, people will listen. People will try to help. People care. Ending your life is not the answer. Take the earlier advice in this thread. We're here for you, the hotline number that was posted earlier will also listen to you. It may seem bleak now, but it [B]will[/B] get better.
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