[Poetry] Alcoholocaust's Alcoholocaust

[Alcoholocaust]

Hey guys i write alot of poetry to vent out my feelings. I have alot to show you but not much time today so i will post this one, more will come.
Constructive and Destructive criticism appreciated.

[B]Space Limbo[/B]
[I]
Yeah I've seen alot of shit, throughtout my life
both the good and the bad.

But now he came here to redeem me,
He says my time is up.

I aint going to heaven for the climate,
nor to hell for the company.

No i aint going anywhere, im just free and wandering

No more work, no more taxes,
nor war or despair.
Free from my wife, free from the H.
free from happiness. Ill be a wizard.

Now im going to space, im free pal, im free mate,
im gonna fly far away, to worlds so distant and strange.
Im gonna howl with the stars, smoke space 'jane
Dance with Cthulu, figure out how elder gods are made
Im gonna take a shit on a black hole. Dig into time, like a mole.(Like the moles does midnight at a red fullmoon)
Im gonna jam with the pulsars, hang out with Seth Putnam
Offending people on Mars.

'till the heat death of the universe, im in orbit of a dildo, fuck you with a rake.[/I]

Call me a gay donglover or the new Jim Morrison, its your choice.

[editline]8th December 2012[/editline]

Found more:

[I]Faceless, formless, directionless. The infinetismal non-I.
Nonexistent, purposeless long lost and forgotten.
Invisible to the masses, only perceived by the mad.
Sought only by the suicidal seekers of nihilism.
Holding the untouched secret of the undefined void.
A hollow nothingness. I, the nihilanth, ruler of all things nothing.
My nonexistence precedes you, i am the bringer of your self, wich is null.
Come home, resume the apathy for i am forever and you are of me.[/I]

[kahgarak]

im in orbit of a dildo

[Alcoholocaust]

[QUOTE=Kahgarak;38751044]im in orbit of a dildo[/QUOTE]

We all are

[Alcoholocaust]

So wich style does you guys actually think i write best? The holy shit im going to do shit or the wooooah im something weird and philosophicallllllllllllllllllllllll?

[TH89]

Both feel kinda try-hard imo. They don't feel felt nameen.

[Alcoholocaust]

[QUOTE=TH89;38768621]Both feel kinda try-hard imo. They don't feel felt nameen.[/QUOTE]

Try-hard? Nameen? Care explain theese terms for me, please?

[Cypher_09]

Facepunch isn't the place for poetry I'm afraid. Try Deviantart, that's what I use for it.

[editline]9th December 2012[/editline]

I prefer the second one, I'm a huge fan of free-verse (prose).

I can't place why, but I like it.

[Alcoholocaust]

Ill check that place out! And thanks!
Fun thing is that when people say they like what i do, they cant ever put a finger on it.

[Cypher_09]

[QUOTE=Alcoholocaust;38769612]Ill check that place out! And thanks!
Fun thing is that when people say they like what i do, they cant ever put a finger on it.[/QUOTE]

Art means many different things to everybody, it's incredible.

[TH89]

[QUOTE=Alcoholocaust;38768883]Try-hard? Nameen? Care explain theese terms for me, please?[/QUOTE]
They both feel really affected, like you're trying too hard to imitate a style you've seen elsewhere. They don't feel like they're coming from someplace genuine.

[Alcoholocaust]

[QUOTE=Cypher_09;38770442]Art means many different things to everybody, it's incredible.[/QUOTE]

Subjective. And yeah its fucking increddible.

As for the tryhardyness, im mostly affected by what i see and hear.
The trained eye might recognise Meshuggah & H. P. Lovecraft

[Kirbyfactor]

Space Limbo seems more rapper theme'd to me.