The Ranting of a Dumb Teenage Attention Whore (that tried to steal my laptop..or somethin) - General

Yeah its a bit of a wall of text but I split it up by days. So my former friend tried to prove something by keeping my laptop…or something…it all started back when I decided it would be a good idea to let a blonde teenage girl with more tits then brains borrow my laptop till she got one of her own. See…just me trying to be nice for a change. But guess what? A few months down the road I ended up starting college and since I am doing a computer based course (who woulda thunk?) so I decided I wanted my laptop back. So I texted her. She informed me that in her dumbassery she managed to fuck up the screen and make half of it black. Fine, whatever, I have an extra I just need that one back for some of the parts to make the other one work. She said that I could also have it back within a day or so. I was fine with that. This was Monday. Now on Tuesday towards the end of the day I texted her asking her when she thought she’d get it to me. No answer. Eventually I got a text back that said something to the effect of ok. Next day (Wednesday) my friend and I went to her house to try and retrieve the laptop and save her some hassle. I knocked on her door, nothing. Again…nothing…as we walk back to his Jeep I notice the curtains happen to be moved aside and not in the place where they were when we rolled up. Clearly someone needs to play Splinter Cell (see number one below under advice). Or get some common fucking sense on how to be stealthy. So that night me and my dad return to her house. Her mom answers the door. My dad being the awesome guy he is says he’s a lawyer (see number two in the words of advice below) and I want my laptop back pronto. After they couldn’t find it in their house because apparently they’re blind and stupid they say I’ll get it back tomorrow. Again…I let the goodness that’s nestled deep down inside of me get the best of me and I agreed. Personally I was gonna call the cops back when me and my friend were there but I didn’t wanna get him involved in this. So we leave. My dad and I decide to go get some dinner. While we are waiting guess who texts me? Yeah TSB* does. Before I start quoting stuff either of us say I’d like to point out everything that is in quotes is exactly as the texts read. So she says “Your fucking crazy” I told her “I’ve been called worse by better.” So we go back and forth until I get home and just tell her to fuck off and give me my laptop tomorrow. That’s when she send me this gem (yeah I only kept a few of the texts and not all of them) “Well I hope you know you’re nutz I told you I’d give it back…Go near my house again and I’m calling the fuckin’ cops” I was tempted to tell her to go for it but I was busy eating Chinese food and it was 10pm and that is far past my bullshit threshold. So I tell her to fuck off for the night but she keeps texting me. Next up is this whopper “You’re fucking stupid and If I wanted your laptop I could easy jack that pos. Don’t flatter yourself. I have proof on facebook that I said I would give it back and your “lawyer” couldn’t do SHIT dumbass.” Haha wow. Look at the genius behind that. Now for some reason I didn’t tell my dad about this text when I got it…most likely because it was late and I was kinda done for the day. But at any rate I could do a lot you stupid fuck. I COULD sue you if you damaged it. I COULD have the cops knocking on your door in the middle of the night. And to top it off…YOU JUST FUCKING ADMITTED YOU WOULD BE STEALING IT VIA TEXT YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK GOD DAMN. So yeah…TSB*. At one point I almost wanted this to go to court just so she could get totally destroyed but oh well. So the next day (Thursday) I text her a few times in the morning and got no response till the afternoon when she says I’ll drop it off “When I throw it on your orch.” See? I swear to god she is illiterate. So I tell her to just give me my laptop. I get back “Whatever, cry to your lawyer about it pussy” bah whatever. I think she has a dick secretly anyways hence she is calling me the pussy. And anyone who argues with that I disagree on the grounds that she probably shoves it up her ass and that’s why she’s always so bitchy. Up next she says “They (meaning her parents) won’t answer the door. I’m an adult and my parents have no concern in the matter. I told you I’d drop it off tonight so gfu.” Look at this mess…she can’t even use internet slang correctly. TSB*. And if you can take care of your own issues give me my damn laptop. So I proceed to ask her what time she thinks she’ll be by to drop it off. After asking this for a few hours and ignoring insults she says this (my dad is home by this point) “Lol call your lawyer and police. You can’t even prove that shits yours.” Once again….YOU JUST ADMITTED IT VIA TEXT YOU DUMB FUCK PIECE OF SKANK SHIT. There was also another text she sent me after that one but in the interest of keeping the main story flowing you can read it below***. So I read that one to my dad and he finally decides it’s indeed time to take drastic measures. I was thinking mustard gas, paintball guns and firebombs but he said the cops. Lame. Anyways we call the cops I tell the cop what’s been going down and give the cop her address (strike another one up there for Google). Long story short the cop comes to my house a few hours later laptop and charger in hand. He hands them over and I thank him and take back all the mean things I’ve ever said about cops (well except for Oconomowoc cops, they’re still a bunch of cocks). I go down in my room and boot it up and see how epically she fucked up the screen and laugh that her AIM is still signed in…shame she fucked it up so bad trying to cover her tracks I couldn’t really even use it. Shame. And I really didn’t feel like putting forth the effort to get it to work just so I could set her AIM status to “I suck dick and got pwned.” Oh well I was planning on reformatting it anyways. TSB* So in conclusion here are some words of advice. 1. You’re not a gamer girl. Playing WoW and MW2 makes you an attention whore not a gamer girl. 2. My Dad is in fact a lawyer. Look in the paper once in a while you stupid twit. That is if you can read. We can also give you a tour of jail if you’d like. And by tour I mean lock you in a jail with Bubba. Once you go black you never go back. 3. Republicans are wrong. You happen to be one (apparently**). Therefore you are WRONG. (my opinion, we don't need a flame war here) 4. Your car sucks. Seriously…a Talon is not a race car. Or racecar as your stupid illiterate ass spells it. 5. Macs suck. There is no way around this. They blow. They fail. Kinda like you. (again, my opinion, no flame war needed) * That Silly Bitch **She only started acting Conservatively once she met this guy off a internet forum and she went to his house and they sucked each other’s dicks or something *** “And FYI it’s being wiped. Idk when it’ll be done. Sometime time tonight and since you nineteen fuckin years old…How about you stop letting daddy fight for you… You’re supposed to be an adult. Btw the cops won’t do shit, since I’ve told you…I’m returning it. Read up on your rights mr democrat…you have a lot to learn.” How the hell does it take you a week to wipe a fucking laptop? It can be done in a few keystrokes shithead (another point against you being any sort of a gamer girl). And you should be happy my daddy took care of this. My methods would have been much more…aggressive. And there would be dog shit on your stoop. And I can’t guarantee that annoying ass dog your mom wouldn’t fucking put back upstairs while we were trying to talk to her would have made it out with its head still attached. And I called the cops all on my own for your information. And don’t lecture me on being an adult after the bullshit you fed me. And from what I can tell…the cops did a lot since I have my laptop and you have…well you don’t have it…and I do. Bitch. And I have a right not to have a dumb cocksucking blonde try and steal my laptop. And you have a lot to learn yourself. Like self respect. And dignity. And not to fuck with me when it comes to computers.

Shoulda gone with the mustard gas. Also somewhat related: one of my friends left their AIM on my computer and I wrote "I like dicks" as his status for eating all my cookies :)

If she didn't wipe it properly you should see if there's anything amusing on it.

[QUOTE=Zonji;20264233]Shoulda gone with the mustard gas.[/QUOTE] Yeah same. But then I'd be in jail with Bubba [quote=markg06] If she didn't wipe it properly you should see if there's anything amusing on it. [/quote] Like I said she fucked it up really good and I didn't feel like fixing it only to reformat it...I have google for boobs anyways

[QUOTE=InsanePyro;20264271]Yeah same. But then I'd be in jail with Bubba[/QUOTE] But think of the satisfaction!

So wait.. She fucked up the screen? Press charges. If not, claim she did it.

[QUOTE=Kath;20264294]So wait.. She fucked up the screen? Press charges. If not, claim she did it.[/QUOTE] Yeah it only displayed the left side of the screen...but as I said I was able to swap all the shit into a identical one and it was good as new (and these laptops are from like '04...I doubt I'd be able to get much for it) plus I have bigger things in my life going on (moving, college, getting a job)

I laughed. What a dumb bitch.

OK, I was expecting the username on the left to be blue after I finished reading all that. Did you type all this in a rush/high/alcohol high/drug high, or what? [QUOTE=Kath;20264294]So wait.. She fucked up the screen? Press charges. If not, claim she did it.[/QUOTE] [quote]I go down in my room and boot it up and see how epically she fucked up the screen and laugh that her AIM is still signed in…shame she fucked it up so bad trying to cover her tracks I couldn’t really even use it. Shame. And I really didn’t feel like putting forth the effort to get it to work just so I could set her AIM status to “I suck dick and got pwned.” Oh well I was planning on reformatting it anyways. TSB*[/quote] If the screen really was screwed up... [editline]06:10PM[/editline] wait, no, ninja'd with new info

Sounds like it's time to backhand a bitch.

[QUOTE=a2h;20264308]OK, I was expecting the username on the left to be blue after I finished reading all that. Did you type all this in a rush/high/alcohol high/drug high, or what? If the screen really was screwed up... [editline]06:10PM[/editline] wait, no, ninja'd with new info[/QUOTE] Yeah half of it still worked And yeah I typed it in a rage sort of thing

Why would you lend a laptop to someone like that. Really now

tl;dr version please

Epic read.

What a stupid bitch. You should totally text her and rub it in her face that the cops did, in fact, do something.

This one thinks that your ex friend is indeed a foolish attention whore.

[QUOTE=Shrooms;20264332]Why would you lend a laptop to someone like that. Really now[/QUOTE] I'll give you one guess I was also very unaware she was a psychopath

Tl/dr bitch steals op's laptop, bitch is dumb, op insults (he is quite clever) cops get laptop back for op. I'm not quite good at these but hopefully this will do

[quote=Grim Joker] What a stupid bitch. You should totally text her and rub it in her face that the cops did, in fact, do something. [/quote] I was thinking of it but I'm not sure if there could be legal reprocussions or anything.

lol see if she left anything else on there, usually dumb teenage attention whores forget and leave themselves logged in. Seems like you could have really f'ed her life up with some of that. Oh and by the way you shouldn't rant about someone ranting (It'll create a paradox..or somethin)

your friend is indeed an idiot but what did Macs have anything to with what happened? seems a bit irrelevant. unless the laptop is self is a Mac, which from your conclusion I assume it's not. [editline]11:18PM[/editline] maybe I missed something in that wall of text, I don't know.

[QUOTE=Makol;20264370]your friend is indeed an idiot but what did Macs have anything to with what happened? seems a bit irrelevant. unless the laptop is self is a Mac, which from your conclusion I assume it's not.[/QUOTE] This was originally going to be posted to facebook and have her tagged. More of a personal jab there/just me raging at her then anything else

[QUOTE=InsanePyro;20264381]This was originally going to be posted to facebook and have her tagged. More of a personal jab there/just me raging at her then anything else[/QUOTE] but that still doesn't involve Macs. I'm confused but whatever.

[QUOTE=Makol;20264391]but that still doesn't involve Macs. I'm confused but whatever.[/QUOTE] Shes pro mac But also considers herself a gamer girl Don't think about that too long or your brain might liquify and flow out your nose

I'm not defending Macs but I found it funny you mentioned them since you "friend" is an attention whore like most Mac users are. [editline]11:21PM[/editline] ninja'd but what I said still applies [editline]11:22PM[/editline] and yes I am a Mac user.

[QUOTE=InsanePyro;20264354]I was thinking of it but I'm not sure if there could be legal reprocussions or anything.[/QUOTE] There isn't. Just say something like "Ha ha, looks like the cops could do something you stupid bitch" or something like that. That way it doesn't implicate that you yourself sent the text. Therefore, in a worst-case-scenario, you could blame someone else for sending it. I've thought about this too much.

Decided to read, rather riveting. I congratulate you good sir.

[QUOTE=Makol;20264399] and yes I am a Mac user.[/QUOTE] Whore. :byewhore: I kid, I kid

[QUOTE=InsanePyro;20264419]Whore. :byewhore: I kid, I kid[/QUOTE] lol but I also own 2 PCs. but 1 I never use. it's a POS my school gave me as a loaner.

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;20264412]There isn't. Just say something like "Ha ha, looks like the cops could do something you stupid bitch" or something like that. That way it doesn't implicate that you yourself sent the text. Therefore, in a worst-case-scenario, you could blame someone else for sending it. I've thought about this too much.[/QUOTE] Best part is I have a mouthy pay as you go phone (flat fee for unlimited talk and text each month) So I could just drop the phone in a lake and it would have never of existed