14 Wacky "Facts" Kids Will Learn in Louisiana's Voucher Schools - Polidicks

[QUOTE]Thanks to a new law privatizing public education in Louisiana, Bible-based curriculum can now indoctrinate young, pliant minds with the good news of the Lord—all on the state taxpayers' dime. Under Gov. Bobby Jindal's voucher program, considered the most sweeping in the country, Louisiana is poised to spend tens of millions of dollars to help poor and middle-class students from the state's notoriously terrible public schools receive a private education. While the governor's plan sounds great in the glittery parlance of the state's PR machine, the program is rife with accountability problems that actually haven't been solved by the new standards the Louisiana Department of Education adopted two weeks ago. For one, of the 119 (mostly Christian) participating schools, Zack Kopplin, a gutsy college sophomore who's taken to Change.org to stonewall the program, has identified at least 19 that teach or champion creationist nonscience and will rake in nearly $4 million in public funding from the initial round of voucher designations. Many of these schools, Kopplin notes, rely on Pensacola-based A Beka Book curriculum or Bob Jones University Press textbooks to teach their pupils Bible-based "facts," such as the existence of Nessie the Loch Ness Monster and all sorts of pseudoscience that researcher Rachel Tabachnick and writer Thomas Vinciguerra have thankfully pored over so the rest of world doesn't have to. Here are some of my favorite lessons: 1. Dinosaurs and humans probably hung out: "Bible-believing Christians cannot accept any evolutionary interpretation. Dinosaurs and humans were definitely on the earth at the same time and may have even lived side by side within the past few thousand years."—Life Science, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2007 2. Dragons were totally real: "[Is] it possible that a fire-breathing animal really existed? Today some scientists are saying yes. They have found large chambers in certain dinosaur skulls…The large skull chambers could have contained special chemical-producing glands. When the animal forced the chemicals out of its mouth or nose, these substances may have combined and produced fire and smoke."—Life Science, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2007 3. "God used the Trail of Tears to bring many Indians to Christ."—America: Land That I Love, Teacher ed., A Beka Book, 1994 4. Africa needs religion: "Africa is a continent with many needs. It is still in need of the gospel…Only about ten percent of Africans can read and write. In some areas the mission schools have been shut down by Communists who have taken over the government."—Old World History and Geography in Christian Perspective, 3rd ed., A Beka Book, 2004 5. Slave masters were nice guys: "A few slave holders were undeniably cruel. Examples of slaves beaten to death were not common, neither were they unknown. The majority of slave holders treated their slaves well."—United States History for Christian Schools, 2nd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 1991 6. The KKK was A-OK: "[The Ku Klux] Klan in some areas of the country tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in morality and using the symbol of the cross. Klan targets were bootleggers, wife-beaters, and immoral movies. In some communities it achieved a certain respectability as it worked with politicians."—United States History for Christian Schools, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2001 7. The Great Depression wasn't as bad as the liberals made it sound: "Perhaps the best known work of propaganda to come from the Depression was John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath…Other forms of propaganda included rumors of mortgage foreclosures, mass evictions, and hunger riots and exaggerated statistics representing the number of unemployed and homeless people in America."—United States History: Heritage of Freedom, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1996 8. SCOTUS enslaved fetuses: "Ignoring 3,500 years of Judeo-Christian civilization, religion, morality, and law, the Burger Court held that an unborn child was not a living person but rather the "property" of the mother (much like slaves were considered property in the 1857 case of Dred Scott v. Sandford)."—American Government in Christian Perspective, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1997 9. The Red Scare isn't over yet: "It is no wonder that Satan hates the family and has hurled his venom against it in the form of Communism."— American Government in Christian Perspective, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1997 10. Mark Twain and Emily Dickinson were a couple of hacks: "[Mark] Twain's outlook was both self-centered and ultimately hopeless…Twain's skepticism was clearly not the honest questioning of a seeker of truth but the deliberate defiance of a confessed rebel."—Elements of Literature for Christian Schools, Bob Jones University, 2001 "Several of [Emily Dickinson's] poems show a presumptuous attitude concerning her eternal destiny and a veiled disrespect for authority in general. Throughout her life she viewed salvation as a gamble, not a certainty. Although she did view the Bible as a source of poetic inspiration, she never accepted it as an inerrant guide to life."—Elements of Literature for Christian Schools, Bob Jones University, 2001 11. Abstract algebra is too dang complicated: "Unlike the 'modern math' theorists, who believe that mathematics is a creation of man and thus arbitrary and relative, A Beka Book teaches that the laws of mathematics are a creation of God and thus absolute…A Beka Book provides attractive, legible, and workable traditional mathematics texts that are not burdened with modern theories such as set theory."—ABeka.com 12. Gay people "have no more claims to special rights than child molesters or rapists."—Teacher's Resource Guide to Current Events for Christian Schools, 1998-1999, Bob Jones University Press, 1998 13. "Global environmentalists have said and written enough to leave no doubt that their goal is to destroy the prosperous economies of the world's richest nations."—Economics: Work and Prosperity in Christian Perspective, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1999 14. Globalization is a precursor to rapture: "But instead of this world unification ushering in an age of prosperity and peace, as most globalists believe it will, it will be a time of unimaginable human suffering as recorded in God's Word. The Anti-christ will tightly regulate who may buy and sell."—Economics: Work and Prosperity in Christian Perspective, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1999 [/quote] [url]http://www.motherjones.com/blue-marble/2012/07/photos-evangelical-curricula-louisiana-tax-dollars[/url] I am not really surprised that half the nation votes for republicans if they were taught this in their schools.

I need to get my ass out of the south

There's no way this is real.

[QUOTE=Itachi_Crow;37142342]I need to get my ass out of the south[/QUOTE] I say you take off and nuke the entire South from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Louisiana, not surprised. I stayed there for a week once, it was an extremely Christian influenced environment, not to mention near the heart of the Bible Belt. I stayed in Baton Rouge though, so I kind of expected it.

[QUOTE=Janus Vesta;37142401]I say you take off and nuke the entire South from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.[/QUOTE] Do the rest of the USA whilst you're at it, all the fucking problems these days are sourced from there

[quote]11. Abstract algebra is too dang complicated: "Unlike the 'modern math' theorists, who believe that mathematics is a creation of man and thus arbitrary and relative, A Beka Book teaches that the laws of mathematics are a creation of God and thus absolute…A Beka Book provides attractive, legible, and workable traditional mathematics texts that are not burdened with modern theories such as set theory."—ABeka.com[/quote] [quote]not burdened with modern theories such as set theory[/quote] Wait, wha

[QUOTE=Dead Madman;37142417]Do the rest of the [B]the western world [/B]whilst you're at it, all the fucking problems these days are sourced from there[/QUOTE] fixed that for you

disgusting

[QUOTE=lotusking;37142436]fixed that for you[/QUOTE] But,but, Canada did nothing wrong

So they denounce several prominent authors of literature as complete hacks, but completely revere a book which has a run-on sentence alternating a name and the word begate?

[QUOTE=Dead Madman;37142417]Do the rest of the USA whilst you're at it, all the fucking problems these days are sourced from there[/QUOTE] Yes, theres NOTHING wrong with any other country in the world right? Syria is full of bros too.

[QUOTE=lotusking;37142436]fixed that for you[/QUOTE] Nope, you can't even section it that way when you take the middle east into consideration

Why don't you just nuke the entire world while you're at it.

You would be better off getting bad public education than getting saddled with this shit.

I love how there is literally a propaganda war going on between these completely insane fundamentalist Christians and the "satanic" and "evil" liberals. It's mind boggling this shit is happening in 2012. No offense to Christians in general because I know most aren't ridiculous like this.

[quote]In some areas the mission schools have been shut down by Communists who have taken over the government[/quote] Because what is a right-wing rant without some insulting reference to communism.

I am a Christian, and I am seriously offended. I don't want to be associated with those fucktards all because I share the belief in the same God. Also, didn't Bible say to respect and tolerate anyone no matter what? Because I'm pretty sure it DID say that. Good job actually following the word you say you follow...

Those 14 "facts" sound like satire. It's just not possible that someone would actually think that this is a good idea.

well this thread went to shit quick

It's like they're trying to turn people in "liberal" states into the master race

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;37142591]Those 14 "facts" sound like satire. It's just not possible that someone would actually think that this is a good idea.[/QUOTE] Well, at least the source in the OP isn't the one cracking jokes. Apparently Mother Jones is a genuine news organization.

i actually feel terrible for the children who are brainwashed with this information can i adopt them or something

[QUOTE=Janus Vesta;37142401]I say you take off and nuke the entire South from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.[/QUOTE] fuckin' A

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;37142591]Those 14 "facts" sound like satire. It's just not possible that someone would actually think that this is a good idea.[/QUOTE] I had a Geography teacher who was conservative. She said that homosexuality is like pedophilia. Surprised she lasted in the school for so long, because if I was the principal I'd fire her without a second thought because she's a fucking disgrace. She also doesn't believe in psychological disorders, since she fucking ridiculed people who had depression (Including me - She didn't sign a paper about the fact that she should take special care because... she just made up an excuse so she wouldn't be obligated). She's also racist and believes in offensive stereotypes. I wish her terrible things for all that.

[quote]11. Abstract algebra is too dang complicated: "Unlike the 'modern math' theorists, who believe that mathematics is a creation of man and thus arbitrary and relative, A Beka Book teaches that the laws of mathematics are a creation of God and thus absolute…A Beka Book provides attractive, legible, and workable traditional mathematics texts that are not burdened with modern theories such as set theory."—ABeka.com[/quote] [H2]WHAT[/H2]

I only made that comment because if a country like England did shit like this, the US would brand us communist and the news would go fucking awol. No news channel will go on about this.

i think it's about time for that mars colony

[QUOTE=TomoAlien;37142584]I am a Christian, and I am seriously offended. I don't want to be associated with those fucktards all because I share the belief in the same God. Also, didn't Bible say to respect and tolerate anyone no matter what? Because I'm pretty sure it DID say that. Good job actually following the word you say you follow...[/QUOTE] The bible says a LOT of shit, that's why Religions and groups can so much shit, it all is true, just depends on where and what you decide to read from the bible. [QUOTE=Dead Madman;37142686]I only made that comment because if a country like England did shit like this, the US would brand us communist and the news would go fucking awol. No news channel will go on about this.[/QUOTE] Doubt it, there are a LOT of countries (In Europe as well) that have similar shit to this, if not worse.

[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;37142668][H2]WHAT[/H2][/QUOTE] math is hard and i cant understand it therefore it is wrong!!!!!!!