My stupid-ass, ultra-conservative, ultra-catholic freak of a "friend" - General

Back when I started high school, I bumped into this guy here and there (lets call him Mumbles) usually before class (I would sit with my friends in the cafeteria and he was a friend of a friend of a friend or something like that) and at the time, he seemed like a sorta cool guy. He liked drawing, I like drawing. He liked videogames, I liked videogames. It seemed like Mumbles could be a pretty cool guy. So, during this last year in high school, I had him in a couple classes, and I initially thought it would be pretty cool... God was I wrong. The first thing that I noticed about Mumbles was his incredible lack of social skills. First off, every word out of his mouth is a monotonous mumble (hence the name). Even when he is stressing something, it's in the same old muble. Second, he doesn't really understand the concept of a conversation. I could be talking with my friend about whatever, and he will creep up from the side, and interrupt in the very middle of whatever we were talking about and go off on a tangent that had nothing to do with what we were initially talking about. Even worse, once he starts talking, [I]he does not stop.[/I] He will not let you get a word in edgewise. He will just... keep... talking.... The next thing that I soon found out about Mumbles was that he was a staunch republican. Now I have no problem with republicans, but I do have problems with people who have no brains. Mumbles was one of the brainless republicans. A while after I had known him, he interrupted a conversation I was having with a friend to inform us that "Obama's election was rigged. I know this because his name was on a newspaper in Transformers 2, and Transformers 2 was in development before Obama won the election." As you can imagine, we found this to be a pretty stupid thing to say. Especially since it came right the hell out of nowhere. But we just shook it off a little while later. We just figured that he was a bit nutty and moved on. But noooo, I soon found that he's a little more than nutty, he's batshit insane. Mumbles and I were working in a social studies class, looking at current events. We start discussing about the oil spill in the gulf and he, being the staunch republican that he is, suggested that we ought to keep drilling out there, rather than look more into alternative energy or better places to drill. I ask "So, what, you're okay with the destruction of the environment in the gulf?" and he says, and I quote: [B]"I would rather destroy the environment than fund terrorism."[/B] I honestly didn't know how to respond to this, all I could say was "You seriously did not just say that." But he goes on to explain how [B]ALL[/B] of our imported oil is coming from oil companies in the Middle East, and [B]ALL [/B]of the owners of those companies have daughters being held hostage by the Taliban. I didn't know what to say. Apparently, he is also a serious Catholic. I personally had no experience with this side of him, but one of my friends told me that "Mumbles has got this girlfriend, but the girlfriend is Jewish, and he says that he will dump her if he can't convert her." Now, apart from all this social awkwardness and extremitism, I hoped that there might be a chance that Mumbles and I may be able to still be art buddies. I was wrong about that too. First off, he's not that great of an artist. Second, he only draws one thing ever: Warhammer 40K. Now, I haven't really got anything against 40K, I'm sure it's a plenty fun game and all, I just never really got into it, but he is fucking obsessed with it. He only ever draws things from it. Everything he talks about will be about it. He will start explaining to me about shit that I neither understand or care about. He'll be giving me a lecture about Laz Cannons and not notice the fact that I am not even listening to him. He will explain to me that he has no money to buy anything important with because "I spent it all on figurines" Yea, he plays the WH40K tabletop game as well, with the little figurines that you paint (Once again, no offence to those who play it, but seriously, spending [B]all of your money on those figurines?[/B]) So, yea. I think I've covered everything about Mumbles. I'm thanking god that I'm graduating tomorrow and will never have to communicate with him again. tl:dr I've got a friend. He's socially retarded, extremist conservative, crazy religious, and obsessed with WH40K, and I never have to speak to him again :buddy:

Sounds like me w/o the catholic part and not a Brainless republican

drown him in crude oil

kill him

He got all this extremism from reading and playing only Warhammer 40k. He's trying to join the Imperial Guard or even the Space Marines.

You should give a speech at your graduation about how Obama rules and that we should do all we can to "Save the environment" If all else fails, dickslap him instead and run away.

Ah thank you for this..er, information. *pulls out walky talky* bravo Oscar bravo come in, We have located the broken cyborg. Send reinforcments asap! I don't know I'm not good at replying to rants.

Does he pronounce Lasguns like Layzguns, or Lazguns?

Pour boiling lead on his face

There is always that one guy.

There's a guy just like that at my school, I don't really know him except for he's extremely terrible social-wise, his talking is like really spazzy, and he's obsessed with Warhammer 40k. Don't know about the politics and religion though...

Tell him he's actually a terrorist. He should deal with himself within the upcoming week.

[QUOTE=Valon Kyre;22458545]Ah thank you for this..er, information. *pulls out walky talky* bravo Oscar bravo come in, We have located the broken cyborg. Send reinforcments asap! I don't know I'm not good at replying to rants.[/QUOTE] then don't

[QUOTE=Dr Smashy;22458565]Does he pronounce Lasguns like Layzguns, or Lazguns?[/QUOTE] Lazguns I believe.

I had a friend like this. Now he thinks that he's the next prophet and puts out Facebook posts stating that, "Jesus came to [him] in a dream and told [him] to kill Obama."

I can't believe you put up with him for that long. I would have just knocked him the fuck out after a few months. Congrats on graduating by the way.

you spelt Lasguns wrong. :smugissar: Serious though, he sounds like a total psychopath. I play 40K, and I can afford to play Bass as well...

[QUOTE=Handsome Pete;22458905]I can't believe you put up with him for that long. I would have just knocked him the fuck out after a few months. Congrats on graduating by the way.[/QUOTE] That's my problem, I'm a guy who's not good at telling people off. So instead he kind of became a running joke in my group of friends. Almost everyone who's met him can't stand talking to him. [QUOTE=Oman;22459045]you spelt Lasguns wrong.[/QUOTE] Man, I don't fuckin know. I could hardly get a thing out of his monologue before my brain turned off.

3 words. Your 'friend' sucks.

Solution: don't befriend anyone that likes WH40K

Liberate him.

kill it with fire

is his name "mastermaul"?

Get orks and continuously woop his ass. [QUOTE=ButtsexV2;22459194]is his name "mastermaul"?[/QUOTE] [01:52] <Maul> i'm not catholic tho

I have one too OP, you are not alone

Next time he tells you something about 40k, Slam your hands on the desk, And Yell, Blood for the blood god and go on a rant about the False emperor, That will get him to hate you.

[QUOTE=Sir_takeslot;22459200]Next time he tells you something about 40k, Slam your hands on the desk, And Yell, Blood for the blood god and go on a rant about the False emperor, That will get him to hate you.[/QUOTE] I bet he plays slaanesh.

He likes 40K A good enough reason alone to not hang out with him

I wonder who he is gonna annoy the fuck off after graduation, or if he would actually graduate..?

Am I the only person here who has the constant fear that you might become something like this guy? :tinfoil: