Alright this nizzle right hizzle is the pizzle, got it dizzle?
Secrets of the Silenced (Rough Draft)
By <Dirge Marksman> and Chris <Crypt19>
Chapter 1: Floppin’ in the wind [UNDECIDED]
The alrm ring “WAAAAAAAH AHM RUNNIN LEAT!” HALPE HIM JEZUZ HELP HIM! He need to be at work in 2 minutes! To the bathroomz! “SHOooOOOM!” he goes. He’s in the bathroom! Toothbrush! “No time for toothpaste!” ‘SCRUBBA-DUBBA-SCRUBA-DUBBA-RUBBA!’ “MAI TEEH IS
BRUSHED! Time for my morning jacking! HEY JACK!” A dog runs in! Jack, the magic alcoholic puppy! Nao, hw must quickly jack, Jack! As in, he must steal him from the neighbors! AGAIN! “SHOOM!” he goes again! He runs out his door! “OH SHIT! NO KEYS! NO PANTS! NO UNDIES!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-“ He runs back inside. He drops the poodle on the floor, and runs to the dresser! He grabs his keys and runs out the door! “FACK! I’M STILL FLOPPIN’ IN THE WIND! Need pants and undies and shirtz!” He runs back inside! “TO THE DRESSER, DAWG!”
HE runs to the master bedroom! He leaps into the drawer! The drawer closes with him inside! 5 minutes later he jumps out completely clothed with a piggy dick in his mouf! He then runs to the car and inserts his jinglies into the slot! “No time for auto sex murcielago! I just gotta get in,
turn, get out!” He rips the keys from the lock, and gets in the car. He inserts the keys into the ignition as he spits out the piggy dick into the passenger’s seat, “EEEEH EEEH EEEEH EEH EEEH EHH” the car goes! It won’t start! He tries again! Twisting the keys further! “EEEEEEEEEEEH EEEH
EEHE EEEEHE EEEEEEEHE EEEH!” The fuckin’ piece o’ shit won’t start! “Murcie, I’m sorry I couldn’t pleasure your exhaust pipe but I must get to Zitra tech NAO!” He steps outa the car and reches into his pants. He grips it firm, and pulls it out! He presses speed dial #1 on his cell phone. It
rings for like 10 seconds. Then, the big ass boss man answers, “YO! BOSSMAN! I’MMA BE LEAT FA’ WIZZLE, BIZZLE! YOU NEEDA GET OFF YOU FAT ASS AND SEND A MUTHA FUCKA DOWN’NA HELP A BRUTHA FRUMA NOTHA MUTHA, GOTZ IT DAWG?!”
“Excuse m-“ *Gunshots n’ shit are heard in the BG, yo!* “HELLO?! YO! BOSSMAN! Ya’ THERE?! SHEE, I NEEDA RYDE, DAWG! Some loud-ass shit happens in the distance! Fah minutes later there some sirens n’ smoke n’ shit! He goe’s inside he house! Guess what. The TV is on since he
forgot to turn it on. The news is on n’ shit dawg. It say, that a big-ass explosion happened at Zitra Tech. His place o’ work. The authorities dunno what the fuck went ka-boom,. Or who da’ fuck didit. Some stuff happened and they dunno what exactly happened. The chief o’ da’ 5-0 say
“This shizzle went kablizzle a little bit ago. Some stuff happened and then they pussed out and called the fuzz, that’s us, so then we showed up, went “HOLEH SHIT!” and then we ended up havin’ to call the dalmation jackers, and they put out the flames, and then we started countin’ the
bodies, and yo, there is a shit load o’ ‘vem. We’re still countin’, mang.”
At this time, Kendrick realizes the deep shit he’s in. If they find out he originally conspired to bomb them because they were out of chicken strips and everyday he had to count how many words are typed by the employees in about 2 minutes total, which usually summed up to
somewhere over 9,000. He was just pissed. Of course he never really DID do it, although he had some files saved on his personal work computer. This shizzle was about to hit the fan! POSSIBLY! SO! Kendrick looked at his watch! It was half-past 9 o’ clock AM. He was VERY late! But oh
well. What can he do? NOTHIN’! THAT’S WHAT! So he leaves the house and runs up the street to the local corner store. Upon arriving he notices somethin’ in the winder. The place is getting jacked! By a masked gunman! Shit has hit the fan again! For some other dude!
Kendrick ran! Like a Kenyan! All the way back home! Dude was in dire danger, dawg!
Ta’ be continued, homie.
Cut it up, jesus christ it's annoying to read that wall of text.
[QUOTE=Gregah;27616846]Cut it up, jesus christ it's annoying to read that wall of text.[/QUOTE]
Shim Shoom Bop! DONE HOMIE!
[QUOTE=Tanner;27621690]-image-[/QUOTE]
I haven't laughed that hard in a while
this is even worse than scott pilgrim
putting memes in a story does not make it funny
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;27629145]this is even worse than scott pilgrim
putting memes in a story does not make it funny[/QUOTE]
The lulz are over nine thousand, epic win u mad?
:frogsiren:
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