• Social Anxiety
    138 replies, posted
When you hear the term “social anxiety” you initially think of it as just a medical term for shyness. In actuality, it is in no way synonymous with shyness: the extent to which social anxiety can affect a person’s life is debilitating. Yet despite being such a misunderstood and under-recognised condition, it is the commonest type of anxiety there is. I for one have it. So what is it exactly? We have all experienced shyness at some point in our lives, especially as children when being introduced to strangers much older and taller than us. But in social anxiety, shyness is merely a symptom. Social anxiety is in fact a phobia of being in social situations, interacting with others and a fear of being evaluated negatively by other people. Sufferers have a great lack of self-confidence and feel very daunted and self-conscious when in a social setting; in extreme cases sufferers experience panic attacks. SA is characterised by sweating and blushing, timidity, fear of public speaking, and performance anxiety. Another way in which this condition is dissimilar to shyness is that – such as in my case – sufferers feel too afraid to even be around some of their friends and relatives for the same reasons. This causes most sufferers to live in seclusion which consequently limits their opportunities and happiness and can lead to depression. SA is the most under-treated form of anxiety, for obvious reasons: when suffering with an unbearable and life-ruining fear of being in a public place it takes a lot of courage to actually go to the doctor and get a proper diagnosis. Many sufferers cannot even discuss their problems with the people they know because they fear that they won’t understand them. The condition first occurs during infancy and does not surface until late adolescence. Many adolescents grow out of it as a result of frequent exposure to social settings, but for others the condition worsens to the point that the individual loses his/her self-confidence and becomes too afraid to engage in any social activities. For me, I believe my SA was either caused or exacerbated when I was bullied at school. Ever since, my anxiety of being out in public has intensified. I no longer have any self-confidence and feel very vulnerable and embarrassed about the way I look, speak and act in public settings, even though I know deep down inside that there is nothing to worry about. I usually decline invitations to house parties, clubs, movies and other nights out with my friends. I also find it difficult to communicate with people over the phone, especially people I'm not familiar with, and so I avoid making phone calls. When talking to people face-to-face, be it a complete stranger or a friend, I tend to stutter, jitter and sweat uncontrollably. When I’m out in the open, I habitually scratch my head or my arm, put my hands in and out of my pockets and pretend to read messages on my mobile phone, because I feel afraid and awkward in walking normally with my hands by my sides. The list of bizarre symptoms goes on. The purpose of this thread is to increase awareness about SA, not to gain sympathy like many have misconstrued it (however learning doesn't seem to occur much here on Facepunch)! There are still many people out there who have this condition and don’t realise it – many don’t even realise that it has a name – and understanding what it is you are going through is half the battle. More information can be found here: [url]http://www.socialphobia.org/fact.html[/url] ☮
Drink 1st-plateau levels of cough syrup.
[QUOTE=BnevolntElefant;23525705]Drink 1st-plateau levels of cough syrup.[/QUOTE] This is actually a good idea.
No, you're just a shut in who uses some bullshit medical excuse to make himself feel better about his lack of social skills. Seriously, this is the 15th thread about how we should feel sorry for x because they are socially awkward.
Yes, it may be medical, but i reckon it is psychological. Easy cure, RELAX . Unless you have a form of parkinson's disease then there is no point to let a 'medical' diagnosis get the better of you. Always a cure for social anxiety
[QUOTE=BagMinge101;23525811]No, you're just a shut in who uses some bullshit medical excuse to make himself feel better about his lack of social skills. Seriously, this is the 15th thread about how we should feel sorry for x because they are socially awkward.[/QUOTE] I thought I'd get a comment from a completely inexperienced ignoramus! So I suppose people with Autism or Asperger's syndrome are the same, hey?
[QUOTE=BagMinge101;23525811]No, you're just a shut in who uses some bullshit medical excuse to make himself feel better about his lack of social skills. Seriously, this is the 15th thread about how we should feel sorry for x because they are socially awkward.[/QUOTE] Nah you're just uninformed, this kind of thing can be almost completely subconscious and the body will react to social situations in a way he can't possibly control (with any level of self-control) The way to fix it, luckily, is to just throw yourself in social situations. It's a painful path to success but, as you become more acquainted with the idea you can fit in with social peers, your subconscious will start to accept it too.
[QUOTE=Gik;23525885]I thought I'd get a comment from a completely inexperienced ignoramus! So I suppose people with Autism or Asperger's syndrome are the same, hey?[/QUOTE] People with Autism and Aspergers actually have a disability.
Also, as a bit of analysis, it's interesting you made an alt to post this. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, 1 in 4 people show symptoms of this and it's estimated that up to 90% of those who do suffer are so uneducated about the situation they simply think that everyone lives suffering the way they do. It's quite astonishing tbh.
[QUOTE=BagMinge101;23525811]No, you're just a shut in who uses some bullshit medical excuse to make himself feel better about his lack of social skills. Seriously, this is the 15th thread about how we should feel sorry for x because they are socially awkward.[/QUOTE] This. The way I see it is, if you believe you have something like social anxiety, then you don't try to get past it or make it better. It's a vicious circle because the more you believe you have it, the worse your social anxiety gets. The worse it gets, th more you believe you have it. You said you get invited to parties, clubs and stuff. So stop being a pussy staying in your little comfort zone and go out and try social things.
Easily cured. Go outside, who cares what people think of you, you are the ultimate judge of yourself. In all honesty, some people out there probably really enjoy your character/your company.
[QUOTE=Lightbourne;23525899]Nah you're just uninformed, this kind of thing can be almost completely subconscious and the body will react to social situations in a way he can't possibly control (with any level of self-control) The way to fix it, luckily, is to just throw yourself in social situations. It's a painful path to success but, as you become more acquainted with the idea you can fit in with social peers, your subconscious will start to accept it too.[/QUOTE] I do go out and face my fears at times. I'm not saying that I never leave the house because I'm afraid of the outside world, as some people might assume. :)
A woman I know has the unfortunate case of Social Anxiety after a rather traumatic event in her life. She likes stage acting so it's hindering her performances because she gets horrific depression episodes that I assume are associated with the anxiety. It's tragic because I can remember when she wasn't like that. It's some serious shit.
[QUOTE=Olinaj;23525974]Easily cured. Go outside, who cares what people think of you, you are the ultimate judge of yourself. In all honesty, some people out there probably really enjoy your character/your company.[/QUOTE] yeah!
[QUOTE=Olinaj;23525974]Easily cured. Go outside, who cares what people think of you, you are the ultimate judge of yourself. In all honesty, some people out there probably really enjoy your character/your company.[/QUOTE] If it was that simple, I would have been cured years ago. In fact there would be no such thing as SA because we'd all be cured. :)
[QUOTE=Gik;23526023]I do go out and face my fears at times. I'm not saying that I never leave the house because I'm afraid of the outside world, as some people might assume. :)[/QUOTE] Well, from what I understand of your situation, social gatherings aren't a fear it's just that your body reacts painfully to them and that's something you'd like to overcome. What someone else posted is half right; the less you self-diagnose yourself the quicker you'll forget about this whole thing and that will help you 10-fold. Just ignore the idea that you are anxious. Go out, meet new people, live like you're normal. That way, eventually, you will be!
[QUOTE=Gik;23526079]If it was that simple, I would have been cured years ago. In fact there would be no such thing as SA because we'd all be cured. :)[/QUOTE] It is that simple. You're just holding yourself back because you're not confident for some reason which is generally fear from something that happened when you were younger which caused a negative imprint on your mind to do something, which is this case is to go outside.
[QUOTE=Gik;23526079]If it was that simple, I would have been cured years ago. In fact there would be no such thing as SA because we'd all be cured. :)[/QUOTE] It is that simple, you are just too deep down your own rabbit-hole of self diagnosis to see your escape. Believe me, it may be a problem now but it can just as easily be something of your past. The only thing you've got to do is let it be! [editline]12:17AM[/editline] [QUOTE=radioactive;23526114]It is that simple. You're just holding yourself back because you're not confident for some reason which is generally fear from something that happened when you were younger which caused a negative imprint on your mind to do something, which is this case is to go outside.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Octave;23525956]This. The way I see it is, if you believe you have something like social anxiety, then you don't try to get past it or make it better. It's a vicious circle because the more you believe you have it, the worse your social anxiety gets. The worse it gets, th more you believe you have it. You said you get invited to parties, clubs and stuff. So stop being a pussy staying in your little comfort zone and go out and try social things.[/QUOTE] To me that's like saying to a guy with a severed spinal cord "stop being such a pussy and get up and start walking!" Honestly, can people be anymore tactless? ¦(
Also, this thread is going nowhere fast. You'll get out of this eventually. You won't be the first and you most certainly won't be the last. This is all quite normal.
[QUOTE=Octave;23525956]This. The way I see it is, if you believe you have something like social anxiety, then you don't try to get past it or make it better. It's a vicious circle because the more you believe you have it, the worse your social anxiety gets. The worse it gets, th more you believe you have it. You said you get invited to parties, clubs and stuff. So stop being a pussy staying in your little comfort zone and go out and try social things.[/QUOTE] You're an idiot. You tell him to 'go out and try social things' like it really is that easy, when the OP has quite clearly established that to him it isn't. This isn't just "hey wanna hang out?" "NO I'M TOO FUCKING CLOSE TO LEVEL 80 ON MY MAGE IN WOW". It's not that simple.
[QUOTE=Gik;23526162]To me that's like saying to a guy with a severed spinal cord "stop being such a pussy and get up and start walking!" Honestly, can people be anymore tactless? ¦([/QUOTE] That analogy falls apart due to the fact you're equating an unfixable broken spine with an easily fixable subconcious fear of social situations.
I guess I can conclude the majority of FP has Social Anxiety?
[QUOTE=lemming77;23526199]You're an idiot. You tell him to 'go out and try social things' like it really is that easy, when the OP has quite clearly established that to him it isn't. This isn't just "hey wanna hang out?" "NO I'M TOO FUCKING CLOSE TO LEVEL 80 ON MY MAGE IN WOW". It's not that simple.[/QUOTE] Noone said it would be easy or simple, why are you assuming the solution has to be?
Someone very dear to me hasn't been with anyone outside of her immediate family for so long because she's been diagnosed with this. Social anxiety is something that has changed my life so much. The amount of people who dismiss it as something you can cure just by walking outside is annoying as hell. Ever think that person might have a heart attack and well, die? Just because you don't think it makes any sense doesn't mean it's not out there. OP's problems is exactly what I thought social anxiety meant, but it can be much more problematic than that. Just because you think you could clear it up by walking outside doesn't mean it's possible for some people. I really wish I could describe how much it hurts me, but no one on FP really cares anyway.
[QUOTE=lemming77;23526199]You're an idiot. You tell him to 'go out and try social things' like it really is that easy, when the OP has quite clearly established that to him it isn't. This isn't just "hey wanna hang out?" "NO I'M TOO FUCKING CLOSE TO LEVEL 80 ON MY MAGE IN WOW". It's not that simple.[/QUOTE] Have you ever seen that Maury where he gets people to confront their phobias? It's the same thing, except instead of pickles or clowns it's social situations for OP.
[QUOTE=Lightbourne;23526111]Well, from what I understand of your situation, social gatherings aren't a fear it's just that your body reacts painfully to them and that's something you'd like to overcome. What someone else posted is half right; the less you self-diagnose yourself the quicker you'll forget about this whole thing and that will help you 10-fold. Just ignore the idea that you are anxious. Go out, meet new people, live like you're normal. That way, eventually, you will be![/QUOTE] I can see you are a non-sufferer. Everytime I leave the house I blot out all thoughts related to anxiety, and it doesn't suddenly go away like that. In fact, sometimes when I try to forget about it and release my inhibitions I end up doing something which draws attention to me and the anxiety automatically reappears. It may take a long time to get over it and I accept that. This post was mainly to spread awareness of it. [editline]01:27AM[/editline] [QUOTE=Lightbourne;23526204]That analogy falls apart due to the fact you're equating an unfixable broken spine with an easily fixable subconcious fear of social situations.[/QUOTE] Yes, I was over-exaggerating, well done for noticing! Damn, Facepunch doesn't have a "pedantic" rating option! :(
[QUOTE=Gik;23525646]SA is the most under-treated form of anxiety, for obvious reasons: when suffering with an unbearable and life-ruining fear of being in a public place it takes a lot of courage to actually go to the doctor and get a proper diagnosis. Many sufferers cannot even discuss their problems with the people they know because they fear that they won’t understand them.[/QUOTE] I don't see a doctor about it because its [b]obvious[/b] they are just gonna say "oh you're just shy get over it" [editline]03:29AM[/editline] [QUOTE=BagMinge101;23525811]No, you're just a shut in who uses some bullshit medical excuse to make himself feel better about his lack of social skills. Seriously, this is the 15th thread about how we should feel sorry for x because they are socially awkward.[/QUOTE] Also this is why I don't talk about it with anyone
[QUOTE=Gik;23526352]I can see you are a non-sufferer. Everytime I leave the house I blot out all thoughts related to anxiety, and it doesn't suddenly go away like that. In fact, sometimes when I try to forget about it and release my inhibitions I end up doing something which draws attention to me and the anxiety automatically reappears. It may take a long time to get over it and I accept that. This post was mainly to spread awareness of it. [editline]01:27AM[/editline] Ok, I admit I did over-exaggerate there. :D[/QUOTE] What kind of things do you do? That draw attention to yourself. I don't know if it helps, but most people really don't care about the actions of strangers.
[QUOTE=Gik;23526352]I can see you are a non-sufferer. Everytime I leave the house I blot out all thoughts related to anxiety, and it doesn't suddenly go away like that. In fact, sometimes when I try to forget about it and release my inhibitions I end up doing something which draws attention to me and the anxiety automatically reappears. It may take a long time to get over it and I accept that. This post was mainly to spread awareness of it. [editline]01:27AM[/editline] Ok, I admit I did over-exaggerate there. :D[/QUOTE] You're right, I don't suffer from any social anxiety, but I did. Panic attacks ring any bells? But it's all fixed when you live like you have no reason to believe you should have social anxiety. Pay special attention to the word "eventually" meaning I don't mean this will happen instantly but acting confident is the first step. You can blot out what I'm saying, brush it off as nonsense and continue living a malformed social existence, or you can listen and try to fix what you've got. Social anxiety is a great thing to have because you can fix it all by yourself. No medicine necessary, no therapy, and no surgery for that broken spine.
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