You probably know of Fuck my Life and Gives me hope. Now comes the Twilight version for all the dedicated fans out there.
[URL]http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/[/URL]
Here is proof of said dedication:
[QUOTE]Today, I was in my kitchen. I was hungry. I got some ice cream from the freezer. The cold air from the freezer reminded me of Edward. I ate it with a spoon. The spoon reminded me of a fork. I realized that the sun was shining on my ice cream and making it sparkle. MLIT[/QUOTE]The spoon reminded me of a fork. I guess she must've known of a spork. That is my only logical conclusion.
[QUOTE]Today it snowed and since the sun was shining I went outside to play in it. Suddenly I realized that the snow glitters in the sun light, is very white, and is cold to the touch. Snow is like Edward Cullen. I was very excited by this. MLIT[/QUOTE]I can imagine her reaction when she gets banished to the north pole: "Oh Edward, you're so [B]BIG[/B]!"
Make sure to check their top 100 and flop 100. Both contain quotes of remarkably disturbed fans and angry reactions of boyfriends/haters of said fans.
Wow, this is just sad.
Oh no, I didn't need to be reminded of THIS!
Twitards.. :smithicide:
[quote]Today I woke up and I was really warm, and when my mom told me that we had no pop tarts left, my hands started to shake. My name is Leah. MLIT.[/quote]
:raise:
:wtc:
My girlfriend sometimes reads these and FML's. There are funny ones just cause its so stupid.
I'm going to have to kill the whole cast of this movie and the people making it.
I bet that these would be even more sad if I had read the books.
[B]My Life For Aiur[/B]
[IMG]http://ui13.gamespot.com/908/ss45hires_2.jpg[/IMG]
Today I went outside, and the sun hurts my eyes. I most be a vampire too! MLIT :allears:
[editline]09:43PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Ryzo;21040897]:raise:[/QUOTE]
How does that have anything to do with twilight? That's like saying "Today I ate a grape. MLIT"
[quote]The Department of Magical Affairs is investigating claims of sparkling vampires and shapeshifting wolves nearly starting a war with Italy. This is a matter of Magical Security. Do not be alarmed, we have the situation under control. Thank you and please contact local aurors is assistance is needed. [/quote]
I like this one.
[quote]Today I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 with my friend on Xbox 360 and he asked me if I saw New Moon with my gf. I told him "No way, I don't watch that crap", even though I really saw it three times over the weekend. I then pretended all the zombies in L4D were instead vampires. GO TEAM JACOB! [/quote]
:geno:
[QUOTE=Tools;21041200]Today I went outside[/QUOTE]
good one
[QUOTE=Ryzo;21040897]:raise:[/QUOTE]
Maybe Edward or that warewolf guy likes pop-tarts?
[QUOTE=Musicfreak59;21041314]I like this one.
:geno:[/QUOTE]
ew l4d on 360
[QUOTE=elitehakor;21041382]ew l4d on 360[/QUOTE]
There were several things wrong with that 2nd one...
[QUOTE=noryarg;21041343]good one[/QUOTE]
I kno rite?
No I didn't actually go outside, but I looked out the window to see who was coming home.
[QUOTE]today, i bought a volvo with my college money, my parents dont know yet...MLIT[/QUOTE]
You chosen to love a book rather than go to college? Wow.
[QUOTE]Today I stood in a very long line to get the New Moon DVD at midnight... I am now watching it and reciting every line. Enough said. MLIT[/QUOTE]
Why
[QUOTE]When I went to see Twilight in the theater, I was parked next to a silver Volvo. I spent a lot of time searching for Edward in the audience. MLIT[/QUOTE]
Faggots aren't the only people who drive Volvos.
[QUOTE]Today I was so thirsty I told my friend that if I didn't find something to drink soon I was going to drink my own blood. MLIT[/QUOTE]
No you weren't.
[QUOTE]Today at my all-girls school, we were doing a lab in Biology I. As our teacher was explaining it, everyone was looking at each other and freaking out. It was the exact same lab that Bella and Edward had done when they first talked to each other! MLIT.[/QUOTE]
What?
[QUOTE]Today, I saw a pickup truck drive by and thought of Charlie. MLIT[/QUOTE]
Today, I saw a book and thought of Twilight. MLIT
[QUOTE]Today I met a guy who likes Twilight. He's a keeper. MLIT[/QUOTE]
Wow! He likes a book I do, that means he's the best!!! Oh, and he hits me? BUT THE BOOK!!!
[QUOTE]At my middle school we all get Mac laptops which are white and shiny. We all named them Edward. MLIT[/QUOTE]
Ughh.
[QUOTE]Friday in Bio. my teacher handed us a lab. It was about finding prophase. I started jumping up and down doing litte yips when a girl (who is new) said "OMG! Twilight Girl are you okay?" MLIT[/QUOTE]
What?
[QUOTE]Today my friend took a bite of an orange. She flinched and said "whoa, it's strong.... but not as strong as Edward," and walked away dramatically. MLIT[/QUOTE]
What's the differece between a fruit and a sparkling faggot? Fruits are real.
[QUOTE]Today, I punched my guy friend in the face. He laughed. I did not break my hand, but it really hurt. I brightened up a little thinking of Twilight. MLIT[/QUOTE]
THAT MAKES NO SENSE
[QUOTE]I woke up this morning and said to my mom my neck hurts then she said well you fell off your bed and stayed on the floor last night thats probably why and I said oh I thought Edward came to life from one of my posters and bit me so then we can be together forever and she started laughing at me! MLIT[/QUOTE]
Henry! Call the mental hospital!!
[QUOTE]Today, I told my History teacher that I was a vampire and I had eaten seven humans over the weekend. I am no longer her favourite, just the weirdo who sits in the corner. MLIT![/QUOTE]
:froggonk:
[QUOTE]Today in chemistry class, I noticed that our really cute german foreign exchange student got really tan over vacation. He no longer looks like Edward Cullen, we all agree that he is now mildly less attractive. MLIT[/QUOTE]
That guy could get laid.
[QUOTE]At soccer practice it began to lightly rain. Soon enough lightning and thunder followed. I turned to my two closest teammates and said, "Hey, the Cullens are playing baseball!" MLIT[/QUOTE]
What
[QUOTE]On my way home from school I stopped at a redlight behind a SILVER VOLVO! Excited I couldnt stop thinking about it until a few minutes later a YELLOW PORSHE LOOKING SPORTS CAR drove past me, I didnt think it could get any better but A RED JEEP WITH HUGE TIRES just like Emmetts drove past me. MLIT!!![/QUOTE]
Note to self. Rent a silver Volvo, hire edward's actor to flip off them.
[QUOTE]Today I realized something amazing. My brother's friend is tall, Native American, and his name is Jacob. I instantly fell in love with him. MLIT[/QUOTE]
Poor guy.
[QUOTE]Today I found a new contact in my phone named "Jessica". I'm tempted to call it and ask to go see a movie with her. MLIT[/QUOTE]
What?
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Random/10685"][COLOR=#0066cc]So I just posted a story and while I was writing it a proactive commercial came on and Jackson Rathbone was in it. Its fate becuase im seeing 100 Monkeys on Tuesday. I'm going to marry him one day. MLIT[/COLOR][/URL] [/QUOTE]
Yep. That makes sense.
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Love/8"]Today I asked my boyfriend if he would hold ice to his lips for a minute before he kissed me, so I could pretend I was kissing Edward. He did. MLIT[/URL] [/QUOTE]
:smithicide:
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/My%20Life/283"]Today as I was walking down the street I realized twilight was all around me, I hate twilight... MLIT.[/URL] [/QUOTE]
Yay.
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Love/15740"]Today, my boyfriend bit me. I did not turn into a vampire, so I dumped him. MLIT[/URL] [/QUOTE]
Lucky him.
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Love/10650"]Whenever I answer the phone I say, "Edward?" I want to die whenever it's not him. MLIT[/URL] [/QUOTE]
Whenever they hear you they hang up.
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Random/10686"]Today I thought I would tell you that in England we have Washing Powder and Fabric Softener call TWILIGHT SENSATIONS . Of course I buy it so that my husband smells like Edward - I am 47 - is this wrong? I hope not !! [/URL][/QUOTE]
Edward smells like fabric softener?
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Random/20844"][COLOR=#0066cc]Today, I realised that on bad days I come onto this website to cheer myself up and to make me feel happy. Not because I am in love with Edward and Jacob, or wish I was Bella but because it makes me glad to think there are SADDER people in the world. MLINT.[/COLOR][/URL] [/QUOTE]
Yep.
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/My%20Life/6"]Today I woke up from a nap on my girlfriends couch only to realize that she had covered me in Twilight body glitter while I was asleep. FML+MLIT[/URL] [/QUOTE]
Poor Bastard.
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/Random/100"]Was I the only one who ever wondered what it must have been like for Edward during Bella's 'time of the month'. Maybe I'm reading into this story a little too much... MLIT. LOL :-D[/URL] [/QUOTE]
.
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/School/8372"]Today at school, my teacher was listing off names for attendance, and when he got to "Edward", the cutest boy in the class, all of the girls sighed, and the boy, Edward, got up and thanked everyone, then walked over and kissed me. My name is Bella. MLIT.[/URL] [/QUOTE]
And then I found $20! Really!
[QUOTE][URL="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/view/My%20Life/1609"]Today I had twin boys and named one Edward and the other Jacob. MLIT[/URL] [/QUOTE]
Someone named her daughet Neytiri.
I can't find the first one :'[
[IMG]http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/4922/img0143s.jpg[/IMG]
there is no [img-timeline] big enough
"Max, shall we kill this faggot?"
"Not now Mad...not now.."
Oh dear Jesus God Science. I remember this being posted on /b/ (I'm not ashamed) a long time ago, for people to troll it. Instead, I curled up into a ball on the floor, crying for the direction humanity's future was head towards, then sat in the bathtub, suffered 1st degree burns from the cleansing water, then sat in the tub and cried for a few more hours.
[QUOTE=Ezhik;21041418]Today, I saw a pickup truck drive by and thought of Charlie. MLIT
Today, I saw a book and thought of Twilight. MLIT[/quote]
Ahhaha, that's epic man.
[img]http://i44.tinypic.com/ei88xk.png[/img]
I smirked.
I like My Life Is Average better. Funnier.
Someone destroy this website
:eng99:
Google ads doesn't get the topic.
"Twilight
We give you everything about sweet Robert and all the others from Twilight.
viunge.dk"
Wow.
Shitty lol.
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