[b]All you need to know about sloths![/b]
[i]Because there really wasn't much to begin with![/i]
Sloths are pretty much the best thing ever
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndMKTnSRsKM&feature=related[/media]
They seriously don't give a fuck. Like, you could find them on the road somewhere in the street, they'll watch you fucking drive right at them, and they'll be like "I'm about to die that''s not cool" and just keep on doing their thing. As you can see in the video above, the only way they'll hurry up is if they have to take a shit, and that only happens once a month. Taking a shit is more important than living in the eyes of a sloth. This is one of the many reasons why they are awesome. Another reason could be how they go wherever the fuck they want whenever the fuck they want at however fucking fast they want to. They can get surprisingly fast (and vicious if you fuck with them), but when they are unable to, they pretty much just go "aw fuck" try for many another ten minutes and give up, forgetting whatever they wanted forever. And one of my favorite reason why sloths are fucking awesome would be that they look like they're fucking baked all the god damned time. You just, like, flash bright lights in front of his face if he even cares about whats going on he'll just look at you and go
[img]http://www.sossen3peaks.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Sloth.jpg[/img]
"What"
But they have a method to their madness (or lack thereof).
You see, since when they move at all (they are asleep like 20 hours a day), they move VERY slowly. Like seriously, they move at a speed of six feet a minute. Such little movement helps the fact that their fur is a great spot for algae to grow. With algae growing on them, and with such slow movement, from the sky, they look less like a tasty meal for an eagle and more like a part of the green landscape, which prevents this from happening:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0zrah5JEBM[/media]
Now I know that by now you're thinking, "Why the fuck don't live live in Costa Rica and see these creatures as much as I want to now?" There are two answers to that question. One: You live in Costa Rica and are a lucky whore to be in the presence of these godly beings. Two: You are not cool enough. And unfortunately, odds are that you can't go find them at your local zoo, for another two reasons. One: There's only one three-toed sloth in a zoo in the United States (it's not even a zoo. It's a fuckin' aquarium), and it's not just the U.S. that's the problem; sloths aren't likely to survive in a zoo. Not due to space (they move 40 meters a day god damn it. They're chill as fuuuuuck), but diet. Two toed sloths have a bit more of variety with berries, fruits and vegetables (they don't drink blood though, it would explain a lot of how fucking perfect these creatures are). However, the three-toed sloths are very picky; most of them only eat parts of the Cecropia tree, which is mainly found in South America.
Sloths aren't as endangered as you'd think (only two species of sloth are not listed under "Least Concern" conservation status), but there are only six types of sloths in the whole world. And "Even the animals they're most closely related to, anteaters and armadillos, are as different from sloths as whales are from bats".
Here's what you may have been* thinking: Why sloths, Handsome Pete?
Because I think they're funnier than shit. It's fucking funny to me to watch them do stuff however trivial it is. I like to indulge myself with stupidity every now and again, and this is pretty stupid. I just get a huge kick out of this shit, and maybe Facepunch will to. Sloths seriously interest me, I think they're awesome creatures.
*Were totally fucking not thinking
Now here's the fun shit of sloths doing things, if none of this is funnier to you, leave, post how stupid this shit is and continue to lurk, or post how stupid this shit is and then leave now.
This is a video where a sloth falls over
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKaqgupLdlw[/media]
This is a video of a sloth swimming (good example of sloth not giving a fuck about what happens. he's swimming for some reason, and then continues to try to swim when he gets picked up out of the water. then he realizes whats happening, looks at her to tell her to put him down, but when he's put in the tree he's all "awwww skeet" and starts slothin' up dat side of the swamp)
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN1Ws0JSd2U&feature=related[/media]
This is a video of a sloth crossing the road (my fucking favorite. the guy talking to the sloth sounds like a cop pulling over a stoner. what happens at 0:30 is so fucking perfect its ridiculous, that cameraman gave the sloth some good advice. 0:33 "i dont fuckin know man".)
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4oNReBV_Mw&feature=related[/media]
public service announcement: handsome pete may or may not have been getting progressively more and more intoxicated as he wrote this thread
Also this is a sloth in a box
[img]http://www.redomo.net/sloth/Sloth-In-A-Box.jpg[/img]
Fuckin sloths man
They live the life I wish I could.
[img_thumb]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gLdXRPkE_q4/SVb85dBRvDI/AAAAAAAAAKg/o3PNcAcFJ4A/s400/sid+the+sloth.jpg[/img_thumb]
You see this motherfucker? It's Sid the motherfucking sloth.
[img]http://d.imagehost.org/0065/iiam.gif[/img]
[quote]"I'm about to die that''s not cool" and just keep on doing their thing.[/quote]
you mean they're too stupid to know they're about to die.
Don't forget about water sloths
[img]http://www.cryptomundo.com/wp-content/uploads/watersloth3lowres.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=RiotashumaV2;27167707]Us facepunchers evolved from sloths![/QUOTE]
Some still are
[QUOTE=RiotashumaV2;27167707]Us facepunchers evolved from sloths![/QUOTE]
I think you mean devolved.
My friend from eighth grade stole the principal's credit card while he was in his office and took it home and tried to order a sloth online with it.
The principal thought it was funny.
He never got his sloth though. :frown:
Do they taste good?
What the hell do Sloths think about?
[QUOTE=TAU!;27167791]What the hell do Sloths think about?[/QUOTE]
Sleeping or pissing
A++ Thread would read again
Most chill animal on the planet. I mean, they have huge claws that could rip you apart. But they don't, cause they are too chill.
[QUOTE=dudder;27167639][img_thumb]http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/4528/a08evr.gif[/img_thumb][/QUOTE]
needs sunglasses and "deal with it" written under it
[img]http://kyon.pl/static/img/remiq.net_17747.jpg[/img]
found the image
[media]http://vimeo.com/11712103[/media]
:3:
[QUOTE=HendoV2;27167890]needs sunglasses and "deal with it" written under it[/QUOTE]
It exists somewhere.
Edit: Oh look, he found it.
I never realized how cool Sloths were until I watched that video.
[QUOTE=HendoV2;27167890]needs sunglasses and "deal with it" written under it[/QUOTE]
no don't ruin something so beautiful with dumb meme shit
Ahh sloths... they take me back.
In Costa Rica there is a sloth reserve/hotel on the Caribbean coast. It's where that picture of a sloth in a hammock-thing is taken and I've held that sloth. I don't know WHY it needs a reserve as sloths are about as endangered as I am likely to win an Olympic medal. Haven't been there since I was 11 but it's pretty vivid in my mind. There's a stream/river running through the compound and the entire place is run by a cranky tan old fat man and his Alaskan wife. I'd recommend going to stay there if only for the experience of taking the river tour and the animals.
Also it's possible to be allergic to sloths apparently. My dad is.
I for one welcome our new sloth overlords
It is an abomination.
I love sloths. Every time I tell people my favorite animal they think I'm joking. They just don't know.
[QUOTE=30CALIB3R;27168153]I love sloths. Every time I tell people my favorite animal they think I'm joking. They just don't know.[/QUOTE]
Same here, they're just ridiculously awesome creatures.
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