Ah bollocks, is that where I've been going wrong? I usually use my fingers to eat while rushing to get it all in my mouth and usually dribbling it down my shirt and trousers, I should use a napkin but I use that instead to perform magic tricks, when I do have to use a knife and fork however, I make sure that shit is grinding on the plate and I'm talking when I'm eating, if I'm at a business meeting, I want to make sure I get my word in, full mouth or not. It's important to show you're interested in the coversation at hand, and if you want to impress people, you always use the utensil that's going to be the most difficult to eat with, you want to impress your fellow business partners by trying to eat chips with a spoon and knife, it shows you are commited to the task, no matter what tools you use.
As for when I'm done with my food, I tend to lick the plate, lick the mess I've probably made on the table, because remember lads, "spillage is lickage". And put the plate on the floor with the utensils next to it to show I'm finished. I pull out my cig, which is a rollup to show my collegues that I am good at origami, and spark up there and then, regardless of if people are still eating or not or if it's against the rules, really shows that you will go above the call of duty to really get what you want, as for my drink, I usually put it near someone elses plate as I probably will end up spilling it. Don't want everyone to see you spilling your WKD blue at the business event, that would be embarrassing! Make sure you really drink that drink as well, nice 180 degree angle going into your mouth and spilling down the sides of your cheek, really shows that you're thirsty and you want more.
Anyway guys I've been unemployed for 6 months, not sure why but hopefully my tips as well really help.
i usually just cum and fart and then the spaghetti falls out
So much faff and bother for something that just doesn't need it. Far as I'm concerned, someone's table manners are fine if they're chewing with their lips in contact, not spilling shit all over the place, and just in general not being overly messy. Using flatware in general is optional, I'm perfectly happy with someone eating something straight out of its container.
I 'spose I'm a wierd one, though.
My first serious girlfriend was Singaporean. I remember the first time I came over for dinner and her mom had prepared some (apparently) amazing dish for me to try. I sit down in front of my plate and reach for a fork... right as my girlfriend scoops up a glob of the stuff with her fingers and stuffs it in her mouth. I then realized there were no forks.
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