So....las night I had a little bit to drink. Okay...I had A SHIT TON to drink.
Two of these:
[URL=http://img709.imageshack.us/i/maddogjw.jpg/][IMG]http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/2776/maddogjw.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Slapped a bag of wine:
[URL=http://img687.imageshack.us/i/box20wineweb.jpg/][IMG]http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/143/box20wineweb.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
And hit this fine lady up:
[URL=http://img689.imageshack.us/i/396pxkeggythekeg.jpg/][IMG]http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/6477/396pxkeggythekeg.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Needless to say, I blacked the fuck out.
Came home, hit the bed, and woke up at 11:40 a.m. I came to the realization that I had a bio lab at 1:00 today. At first I said "Oh HELL no....fuck that class, do you really think that YOU can go to that?" I was still drunk at this point. I laid there in bed and dozed off back to my serene sleep. I awoke again at 12:40. "FUCK MAN....I don't wanna go to this class." Said drunk me. "Dude, it'll be fun. You're drunk, you look like a douchebag, and you can only miss three of these fucking labs. So go." Said responsible me. At this point, I had to piss so bad that I thought the interior of my body was going to rupture. I got out of bed, leaked the angry dragon, and put my clothes on from last night. I headed to this god forsaken lab out of pure pity for my drunken self.
I walked in through the lab room's door only to find three intriguing things. Every fellow classmate starring at my pissed pants, a dead man's skinned leg on a platter, and the professor wearing Michael Jackson gloves. I took my seat, and sat there patiently. Apparently, the day I decide to attend lab drunk was the day we had to see and touch a dead....skinned....human leg and arm. We were studying muscles and such so the professor went over the specific names of each muscle.
I suddenly stopped my professor midway through his speech stating "YEAH, THAT LEG LOOKS LIKE SOME ROTISSERIE CHICKEN." The girl next to me left the room gagging after that. Poor bitch. As the rest of the class fell bored with the rotting body parts, I stayed and played with the thing. I noticed the toenails were intact, and there was some hair still left near the upper thigh. I turned to the professor and asked "Hey...ummm why is there still hair on this thing? And it's only in one spot?" He responded with something like "Well...the area where that hair's located in in quite the awkward spot I'm not going to explain. But I will tell you that it starts with a ""T""." I sat there...still drunk, wondering what in fuck's name could he be talking about.
Some guy in my class walks up next to me and goes "Yeah, so what's that hair there for?" I explained to him what the professor told me and he immediately goes "OHHHHHHHHHH...haha I know what the fuck that is. It's the fucking gooch man!" This caught my short spanned attention. I put the pieces together and figured out the mysterious "T" word. It was taint. The kid goes on the explain: "Yeah, I had a baseball coach once who would tell girls they had a nice Peranium (scientific name for gooch). And when they asked what it was, he'd say it was the white of your eyeballs." I immediately walked away from that conversation.
We then were taught how to find your heart beat through a stethoscope. I picked the thing up and pressed the metal ring at the end to my forehead. Some girl looked at me and shook her head. Fuck her. The professor told us to pick a partner that "was of the same gender". Because we'd be touching each other's chests. I regrettably paired up with the burliest man in the class. Braced for massive amounts of chest hair and stenching sweat, I pressed up against his chest and heard his weak ass heart. He had a pussy heart. Apparently the most effective place to listen to the heart is right under the left nipple. Learn some new shit everyday. Anyway, that was fun. Until next time I guess. That "next time" being me getting pissed drunk and venturing the world.
TL;DR: Fuck you.
Fuck me? Fuck you!
[QUOTE]Attending bio lab drunk[/QUOTE]
Have fun!
If all it took was that whimpy shit to get you drunk you must be a lightweight.
good read
Interesting story, did you take a bite out of the leg?
You all sound like massive douchebags.
how were you still drunk if you drank the day before and fell asleep twice?
[QUOTE=The Ripper;20958697]If all it took was that whimpy shit to get you drunk you must be a lightweight.[/QUOTE]
I'd love to go toe to toe with you in a drinking contest. One of these days I'm either going to go on a live feed or post a video of my chugging whatever liquor I can find.
[QUOTE]I'd love to go toe to toe with you in a drinking contest. One of these days I'm either going to go on a live feed or post a video of my chugging whatever liquor I can find[/QUOTE]
hahahaha
lol
OP is a pussy
ha
A story about fucking me? that tldr made me read.
I was dissapoint.
[QUOTE=MasterQuief;20958815]OP is a pussy[/QUOTE]
Okay.
:smug:
[QUOTE=Woolley;20958855]Okay.
:smug:[/QUOTE]
fight me
I will
[QUOTE=The Ripper;20958697]If all it took was that whimpy shit to get you drunk you must be a lightweight.[/QUOTE]
That's what I was thinking.
Drunk through the next day?
What a bitch.
reminds me of the time my roommate came in drunk and pissed in our trashcan. average drunk story.
I'll prove all you haters wrong.
[QUOTE=Woolley;20958971]I'll prove all you haters wrong.[/QUOTE]
I'm not a hater. It's a great story. Just saying, you're a bitch ass light weight.
Still, I love the tale.
Mad Dog 20/20? I used to drink that when I was about 14 hanging around on the streets. Unless you are still 14 you are a pussy.
[QUOTE=Kronik;20958995]I'm not a hater. It's a great story. Just saying, you're a bitch ass light weight.
Still, I love the tale.[/QUOTE]
Dude....trust me. I'm NOT a lightweight. Have you ever had a Mad dog? Let alone, two of them? And I drank that ENTIRE bag of wine. All of that next to god knows how many beers. I don't consider that arsenal to that of a "pussy ass lightweight."
Nothing amazing. I know people who drink at school. I once had a joint at lunchtime.
[QUOTE=Woolley;20959041]Dude....trust me. I'm NOT a lightweight. Have you ever had a Mad dog? Let alone, two of them? And I drank that ENTIRE bag of wine. All of that next to god knows how many beers. I don't consider that arsenal to that of a "pussy ass lightweight."[/QUOTE]
Mad dog's pussy. Wine, I could see that sticking with you to the next day.
itt: people bragging about how much they can drink
[QUOTE=Keeshond dog;20959083]Nothing amazing. I know people who drink at school. I once had a joint at lunchtime.[/QUOTE]
Post wasn't really about boasting about what I drank. It was about the adventure. That's not even close to my record of crazy shit.
Here was me one night playing Wizard staff (on the left):
[URL=http://img257.imageshack.us/i/wizardstaff.jpg/][IMG]http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/4914/wizardstaff.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
That wasn't even my complete staff.
[QUOTE=Woolley;20959041]Dude....trust me. I'm NOT a lightweight. Have you ever had a Mad dog? Let alone, two of them? And I drank that ENTIRE bag of wine. All of that next to god knows how many beers. I don't consider that arsenal to that of a "pussy ass lightweight."[/QUOTE]
[img]http://meta.filesmelt.com/downloader.php?file=n519021234_5115.jpg[/img]
suuuuuuuure buddy
ITT: People who have never been drinking, and think they an handle lots of alcohol without getting drunk, and getting a hangover.
Really, get your facts together before you guys make any statements!
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