This Swimmer Noticed A Shark Was Following Him; The Dolphins Noticed, Too - Polidicks

[QUOTE][video=youtube;Ohsg1XI6KdI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohsg1XI6KdI[/video] A group of dolphins apparently came to the aid of a British long-distance swimmer just in the nick of time. Adam Walker was on a 16-mile swim in the choppy waters of New Zealand's Cook Strait on April 22 when he spotted a great white shark beneath him, Yahoo! News reports. A pod of 10 dolphins quickly surrounded him and stayed... [/QUOTE] [URL]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/26/swimmer-saved-by-dolphins_n_5215041.html[/URL]

Or maybe the dolphins were also interested in eating the swimmer [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-tinfoil.gif[/IMG]

[QUOTE=aznz888;44668924]Or maybe the dolphins were also interested in eating the swimmer [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-tinfoil.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE] Well, the Orcas are infact a relative to the dolphins, so youre not that far away from the truth.

I dont see the shark

In the grand scheme of nature, when you take sentimental human emotions out of it, what these dolphins did was just utterly troll this shark. Dolphins are aquatic chavs. Fleshy pink landthing is splashing across the top of the water, unable to spend much of any time below where natural boyancy puts it. Great white swims towards potential food. Suddenly, dolphin flashmob cockblocks the shark. That swimmer contributed nothing to them; they didn't gain food, they didn't gain a reproductive advantage, all they did was annoy a shark until he decided to leave and try his chances somewhere other than Asshole Patrol HQ.

[QUOTE=elixwhitetail;44669062]In the grand scheme of nature, when you take sentimental human emotions out of it, what these dolphins did was just utterly troll this shark. Dolphins are aquatic chavs. Fleshy pink landthing is splashing across the top of the water, unable to spend much of any time below where natural boyancy puts it. Great white swims towards potential food. Suddenly, dolphin flashmob cockblocks the shark. That swimmer contributed nothing to them; they didn't gain food, they didn't gain a reproductive advantage, all they did was annoy a shark until he decided to leave and try his chances somewhere other than Asshole Patrol HQ.[/QUOTE] So basically the moral of the story is 'haha fuck you shark nerd'

[QUOTE=Gauzemann;44669002]I dont see the shark[/QUOTE] Dolphins did their job then.

[QUOTE=elixwhitetail;44669062]In the grand scheme of nature, when you take sentimental human emotions out of it, what these dolphins did was just utterly troll this shark. Dolphins are aquatic chavs. Fleshy pink landthing is splashing across the top of the water, unable to spend much of any time below where natural boyancy puts it. Great white swims towards potential food. Suddenly, dolphin flashmob cockblocks the shark. That swimmer contributed nothing to them; they didn't gain food, they didn't gain a reproductive advantage, all they did was annoy a shark until he decided to leave and try his chances somewhere other than Asshole Patrol HQ.[/QUOTE] I wonder what dolphins must think of people.

[QUOTE=Lemonschooner;44669150]I wonder what dolphins must think of people.[/QUOTE] Maybe they think that we are one of them?

"Dolphin-Human diplomatic relations improving in wake of foiled Shark hostage plot"

[QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;44669167]Maybe they think that we are one of them?[/QUOTE] I can't imagine so. "Hey guys, check out this asshole, he's trying to swim" "Ha, what does he think he is, a sea animal?" "Leave this shit to the pros, dickbag"

[QUOTE=Chonch;44669187]"Dolphin-Human diplomatic relations improving in wake of foiled Shark hostage plot"[/QUOTE] Great Whites 30 minutes from New Zealand.

[QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;44668981]Well, the Orcas are infact a relative to the dolphins, so youre not that far away from the truth.[/QUOTE] There are no reports of fatal attacks of orcas on humans in the wild, only in captivity.

"Walker, who was swimming to raise proceeds for the nonprofit Whale and Dolphin Conservation, embarked on the Cook Strait swim as part of the O..." Dolphins knew he was swimming for them.

[QUOTE=Lemonschooner;44669150]I wonder what dolphins must think of people.[/QUOTE] Dolphins are [I]weird[/I], man. Think about it. Because you have high-pitched echolocution, not only can you squeak over long distances (whales even further, reaching across oceans), you sort of have the ability to sonogram [I]anything[/I]. You can tell who's pregnant or very ill, and if dolphin cancer exists or were to exist, they'd likely be able to detect it at least before it grew to fatal size. You're a clever asshole predator with superior intelligence (as far as animals go), you can move in any direction you want in your natural environment between the sky (the ocean surface) and your maximum depth/the seafloor so you can effectively fly and hover in water currents for free, and your penis is prehensile and can grab and manipulate things. Conversations travel a long way, and everyone's an ultrasound machine. Dolphins give each other what we would call names, identifying strings of squeaks and clicks. Dolphins also have a slightly less than friendly attitude with humans in some conditions. If you have breast implants, you're advised not to swim with dolphins, because they'll detect that your implants aren't biological and start repeatedly ramming you in the chest to try and get the inorganic shit out. (Or they're just trying to kill you in your unnatural tit cancer, maybe.) Also, even though dolphin swims are kind of a popular thing for Make-a-Wish and other sick-kid-special-fun things, if you're really disabled, you're advised against it. Dolphins kind of have an "only the strong survive" attitude, and will sometimes just bully a really disabled kid with headbutts because they've figured out something's very wrong with them. Dolphins are aquatic telepathic eugenicist chavs who've successfully tricked a significant portion of the global dominant species to think of them as finned best buddies forever. Well played, you glorious fuckoffs.

[QUOTE=elixwhitetail;44669407]~dolphin facts~[/QUOTE] Dolphins - the ocean's jerkoffs. They would have gotten away with it too, if they hadn't tasted so similar to tuna.

[QUOTE=aznz888;44668924]Or maybe the dolphins were also interested in eating the swimmer [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-tinfoil.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE] They were clearly going to take him to their secret rape cave.

i love dolphins

[QUOTE=Lemonschooner;44669676]Dolphins - the ocean's jerkoffs. They would have gotten away with it too, if they hadn't tasted so similar to tuna.[/QUOTE] i believe dolphins are one of the few animals which do actually jerk off

What they're [I]not[/I] showing you is what happened when they reached the shore. [img]http://drmcninja.com/comics/2009-06-0214p70.jpg[/img] [QUOTE=Niklas;44669228]There are no reports of fatal attacks of orcas on humans in the wild, only in captivity.[/QUOTE] Because they eat the witnesses if they're in the wild.

[QUOTE=GammaFive;44669216]Great Whites 30 minutes from New Zealand.[/QUOTE] Day one: Sharks in unmarked uniforms stormed the town square. People are calling for secession and a minefield was planted beside a shipping highway. Simon Orcastrovsky is inbound as we speak.

[QUOTE=Pilotguy97;44671050]Day one: Sharks in unmarked uniforms stormed the town square. People are calling for secession and a minefield was planted beside a shipping highway. Simon Orcastrovsky is inbound as we speak.[/QUOTE] That sounds dangerously close to the plot of a Justice League episode.

fuck you pricks i was just going to tell him he was trespassing on private property

[video=youtube;VaH3E3ZN8zs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaH3E3ZN8zs[/video] Dolphins can get real friendly.

[QUOTE=aznz888;44668924]Or maybe the dolphins were also interested in raping the swimmer [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-tinfoil.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE] fixed that for you.

In reality the shark and dolphins were probably just curious what all the noise was about. Sharks are stealthy stalkers. If you've been in the ocean, you've probably been watched by a shark from a distance. There's nothing to suggest the shark was going to attack or that the dolphins were there because the diver was in danger. It's far more likely they were there because they were curious what the silly land mammal was doing way out there. Dolphins love to play. [editline]29th April 2014[/editline] Large pelagic hunter hears a noise at sea its gonna check it out.

[QUOTE=OvB;44676028]In reality the shark and dolphins were probably just curious what all the noise was about. Sharks are stealthy stalkers. If you've been in the ocean, you've probably been watched by a shark from a distance. There's nothing to suggest the shark was going to attack or that the dolphins were there because the diver was in danger. It's far more likely they were there because they were curious what the silly land mammal was doing way out there. Dolphins love to play. [editline]29th April 2014[/editline] Large pelagic hunter hears a noise at sea its gonna check it out.[/QUOTE] That's sorta what I suspected about the shark. I mean, I'm no expert, but you always hear about how they usually only attack people when they confuse surfers and the like for some other type of sea creature, and never take more than one bite.

[QUOTE=The Maestro;44676109]That's sorta what I suspected about the shark. I mean, I'm no expert, but you always hear about how they usually only attack people when they confuse surfers and the like for some other type of sea creature, and never take more than one bite.[/QUOTE] No more than one bite? Huh, so thats why they are so fit... You never see a fat shark.

[QUOTE=elixwhitetail;44669062]In the grand scheme of nature, when you take sentimental human emotions out of it, what these dolphins did was just utterly troll this shark. Dolphins are aquatic chavs. Fleshy pink landthing is splashing across the top of the water, unable to spend much of any time below where natural boyancy puts it. Great white swims towards potential food. Suddenly, dolphin flashmob cockblocks the shark. That swimmer contributed nothing to them; they didn't gain food, they didn't gain a reproductive advantage, all they did was annoy a shark until he decided to leave and try his chances somewhere other than Asshole Patrol HQ.[/QUOTE] Actually he did do something for the dolphins. He was swimming to raise money for a charity that protects dolphins and whales. Them dolphins know whats going on :tinfoil:

[img]http://i.cubeupload.com/Np7fcs.png[/img] [b]fook orf shark 'unt ill fucken do ya i swear on me mum[/b]