So, there's this fancy little Playmobil Airport Security Set:
[quote]The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight![/quote]
[url=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002CYTL2/sr=8-1/qid=1292595111/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1292595111&sr=8-1&seller=]Right Here.[/url]
[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/519k8VYtDrL._AA300_.jpg[/img]
[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/417MT4RKG2L._AA300_.jpg[/img]
Harmless, right?
It seems to be getting pretty awesome reviews:
[quote]I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.
The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I've heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I'll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).[/quote]
[quote]My family was planning a vacation to Europe, so I purchased this item to teach my twins about what to expect at the airport and hopefully, alleviate some of their anxiety. We also downloaded the actual TSA security checklist from the American Airlines website and then proceeded with our demonstration. Well, first we had to round up a Barbie and a few Bratz dolls to play the other family members, so that cost us a few extra bucks at the Dollar General and it is aggravating that the manufacturer did not make this product "family-friendly." Of course, since the playmobil Dad could not remove his shoes or other clothing items, unlike the Barbie, the playmobil security agent became suspicious and after waving her wand wildy a few dozen times, called her supervisor to wisk the Dad into a special body-cavity search room, (which incidentally led to quite an embarasing and interesting discussion with my twin daughters about personal hygiene and a slight adjustment to the rules we had them memorize about touching by strangers). But worst of all, since the suitcase did not actually open, the baggage inspector made a call to the FBI and ATF bomb squads which then segregated the family's suitcase (which btw was the only suitcase they provided for our educational family experience) and according to the advanced TSA regulations, had to blow it up, (since they could not otherwise mutilate the luggage, break off the locks and put one of those nice little advisory stickers on it), which we had to simulate out in the backyard with a few M-80s and other fireworks. The girls started crying. They became so hysterical by the whole experience that we could not even get them in the car when the time came to actually take our trip, and so we had to cancel the whole thing at the last minute, losing over $7,000 in airfare and hotel charges that we could not recoup do to the last minute cancellations. We've now spent an additional $3,000 to pay for the girls therapy and medication over the past year since this incident occurred, and the psychologists have told us that this will affect them for life, so much for their college fund and our retirement. Then, to top it all off, when we tried to use to playmobil phone to call the company to ask for reimbursement, as you might expect, of course the damn thing didn't even work; neither did our efforts to e-mail them using the computer screen on the baggage checkpoint; and our real-life efforts to contact them to obtain re-imbursement have also likewise been ignored. Worse yet, we had the product tested and found out that it was positive for both lead paint and toxic chemicals, having been manufactured in China by workers holding formerly American jobs, so now we all have cancer and have been given only another year or so to live. My advice - educating your kids about airport security with this toy may actually be more harmful to them than just packing them in the damn luggage with some bottled water & hoping they survive. :)[/quote]
[quote] When I bought this toy, I was looking forward to placing my minority-action figure through the metal detector, and then running the little script I prepared: "Excuse me sir, but you have been 'randomnly' selected for additional scans. Please let us take a sample from your shoe while the computer analyzes findings for any radioactive or biohazardous material".
It's too bad that they never came out with the "Pat-Down" edition, where fat guards are groping women for weapons, and turning customers away who refuse the degrading method of search.
My only suggestion is that if this is based on the John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York, please don't forget to include the bums who torment you for spare change. Thanks![/quote]
Those are the ones I found that are good. Gave me a good laugh today.
The new 3 Wolf Moon
What the hell is wrong with these people? Still funny though.
for Command and Conquer 4:
LITTLE TO COMMAND AND NOTHING TO CONQUER
It is always sad when a great historic game franchise comes to the end of its road. But it is depressingly sad to watch it do so in this condition.
KANE IN DISNEYLAND?
The graphics are laughable. True, EA has been steering the C&C franchise towards the ...cartoon direction ever since the RED ALERT 3 installment. But the RED ALERT series had always been more playful. Even so, what was barely palatable for a RED ALERT game is outright insulting for a TIBERIUM one.
If his tanks could still run-over infantry units, have no doubt, he would hunt down whoever did this to him.
Because, you cannot mock Kane and avoid having your lungs infused with Tiberium fumes!
MORE UNITS? PLEASE WAIT BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE. FOREVER.
One of the most annoying features of the new C&C4 is the units cap. You cannot produce more units above a (very low) number. Upgrading your tech-tree with such a unit cap in place means you have to kill and replace most of your units - and make painful decisions as some units are more equal than others. It feels like having to deal with a (small) Diablo-like inventory: whatever does not fit within the grid must be left behind to rot.
And to add insult to injury, extra units are bestowed with a dropper. A tiny one.
This cap reeks of one thing: an attempt to turn this series into a Massively Multiplayer Online Game (fewer units means less lag). And no one seems to care that this took away one of the most fun tactics in a C&C game: tank rushing.
SORRY, ALL OF OUR TIBERIUM-HARVESTERS HAVE BEEN RECALLED. WOULD YOU CARE FOR A SENSIBLE COMPACT?
A COMMAND & CONQUER game without harvesting? It could be an RTS game of any name (and there have been baseless RTS games before), why did it have to be a C&C game? Because, once again, EA proves to have no respect for this beautiful art-form. If it means exploiting a classic title in its swan song to sell a few more units, so be it.
Moreover, game publishers seem to have an ever declining expectation of their targeted customer IQ. Hence the ever simplified games released. So, yes, this feels like C&C-for-Dummies.
BATTLEFIELD CONTROLS OFFLINE? YOU'RE SCREWED COMMANDER!
Yes, this must be the most inconvenient DRM scheme ever.
If you hate STEAM for requiring endless updates, this is worse.
If you hate games that require online activation because they never actually become yours, yes, this is worse.
And if you hate games that come with Limited Activations and become worthless the moment you pop the box, well yes, this is worse.
This inconceivable scheme demands for the owner of this game to always be online to verify that the copy he payed for is legitimate. That's right, not just activation, ALWAYS ONLINE. Yes, even for a single player game.
Will it deter piracy? No, pirates will be playing the game without all those DRM hassles. Legitimate gamers are left complaining - and, once more, EA will turn a deaf ear.
All in all, C&C4 will not appeal neither to old friends of the series nor younger gamers. And (for as long as it will keep working), it will have you jumping through hoops for the privilege of having ...bought it. And I thought it was the other way around.
This Tiberium field has been depleted long ago.
Move along Commanders.
This made my day.
This is great
ahahahaha "now we all have cancer"
Instead of office chair, package contained bobcat.
Will not buy again.
[QUOTE=product images][IMG]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/3175Rd68UoL._AA300_.jpg[/IMG]
Customer image from John T. Thompson "Sloth" [/QUOTE]
Haha, oh wow.
These are just brilliant. I'll have to go looking for these kind of reviews in future. :v:
There's loads in that "Audiophiles are the stupidest people in the world" thread. They're pretty awesome.
[quote="Zambano"]Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it's a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor. I applaud the people who created this toy for finally being hip to our changing times. Little children need to be aware that not all smiling faces and uniforms are friendly. I noticed that my child is now more interested in current events. Just the other day he asked me why we had to forfeit so much of our liberties and personal freedoms and I had to answer "well, it's because the terrorists have already won". Yes, they have won.
I also highly recommend the Playmobil "farm fencing" so you can take your escorted airline passenger away and fence him behind bars as if he were in Guantanamo Bay. [/quote]
:what:
[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41KH6M0LWJL._SL500_AA300_.jpg[/img]
[quote]So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore.[/quote]
[quote="Great Product, Poor Packaging]I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.[/quote]
[quote]I used this stuff to give me the required 1.21 jiggawatts needed for my Delorean to travel back to the future from 1955[/quote]
[quote]It's been almost 100 days since I "disposed" of the Uranium Ore I purchased from Amazon.com. Seeing as how they sent me 10 orders instead of 1 I thought it would be alright to dispose of the two or three cans in the backyard. 91 days later and I'm barricaded in my house, beseiged by mutated grasshoppers, bees, wasps, and ants the size of ponies. I'm not sure how much longer I can last here, the noises coming through the walls is constant, day and night. The scratching and scraping, the buzzing and chirping these mutated monsters make around the clock is, I fear, driving me inexorably further to the brink of insanity. I know that soon, I'll take my chances outside the door of my home and fight for survival in a world gone mad; but with my newly grown wings and the lobster-claw appendages that have sprouted from my back, I might just have a chance after all... [/quote]
Some of the reviews closer to the front pages, but there are funnier ones further back if you are willing to search.
These people have a lot of time.
These are hilarious, but it's only a matter of time before Amazon starts cracking down on these reviews :saddowns:
[QUOTE=Dr. Fishtastic;26784188]These are hilarious, but it's only a matter of time before Amazon starts cracking down on these reviews :saddowns:[/QUOTE]
they wouldn't do that unless they thought it was worth the money to hire people just to moderate reviews
Oh god ahhaha
Shamelessly stolen from a Something Awful thread:
[img]http://www.cubeupload.com/files/e0816bfreshwholedeadrabbit.png[/img]
[img]http://www.cubeupload.com/files/ae87e1uranium.png[/img]
Checking the page it seems Amazon removed 'Customers who viewed this item' in the last few weeks?
Also this:
[url]http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2_russss0[/url]
All of them.
I think i'm the only one that doesn't care about the tsa thing.
I never really understood what the point of playmobil was. They're like a cross between action figures and lego minifigs.
Anyway those were pretty funny, I wonder what the first person to write these kinds of reviews think.
[url]http://www.rivercrap.com[/url] has lots of funny reviews and products from amazon :D
[url]http://www.amazon.com/Big-Rig-Pc/dp/B0002BQMFY/ref=sr_1_1?s=videogames&ie=UTF8&qid=1292716769&sr=1-1[/url]
[quote]This is the most important game ever made. It raises questions that few others do, such as "aren't we all just racing against ourselves anyway?" and "what would the world be like without police?" and "Wouldn't it be wonderful to not have the laws of physics?" It also takes on very important metaphysical questions with a clarity reminiscent of Descartes: What can I actually know about the world around me? Can I really trust what my eyes are seeing?
For example the use of bridges in the game; are they really there or are they an illusion? If I choose one of the five available trucks will it work or is it only the illusion of a truck? There is so much hidden depth to this game that many, many reviewers are totally missing when they blindly criticize its meager graphics, dysfunctional AI, and total lack of audio. These are merely surface issues. The heart and soul of the game is the valuable critique it offers of reality.
If you want to expand your mind and wisdom, buy this game. It will broaden your horizons and teach you to view the world in profound new ways. [/quote]
[quote]This is not just a big rig simulator. Sure, there's plenty of CB talkin, brake jamming, cargo haulin, and roadblock runnin action to keep you busy, but that's just the surface.
I invite you to dig deeper into this marvel, and uncover a depth and clarity or vision and purpose seldom seen in video games. From the inovative phsysics, to the revolutionary A.I. this game has more layers than first meet the eye.
Indeed while it is amazingly entertaining, it is so much more. The sheer boundless gameplay is an inspiration. You will not be walled in with Big Rigs, nay, you are free to explore every inch of the map. What's more, with practice you can transcend the map and arrive at a grey nirvana- the whole world in front of you. The competition is tough, but will leave you with deep philosophical insight: Are we really just racing ourselves? Is winning any different than loosing? Are our obstacles really just our own construct of reality that may be driven through with enough determination?
This game, pardon- masterpiece, is unlike any other experience around. If you want to bust through police roadblocks while chatting on the CB, then feel free, but the deeper message that we are all winner and the road of life is filled with illusory obstacles is what makes this work of art what it is.
So if you'll excuse me, I've got some rigs to drive. You can find me in the grey nirvana, where all becomes clear. [/quote]
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