[url]http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2011/10/10/19-hospitalized-in-walmart-bleach-fight/[/url]
[quote]
A desire to live a clean life went horribly awry in the bleach and disinfectant aisle of a Maryland Walmart this weekend.
This farm animal wisely walked past the aisle containing chemicals and furious shoppers.
[img]http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/files/2011/10/goat-walmart-300x187.jpg[/img]
This farm animal wisely walked past the aisle containing chemicals and furious shoppers.
Nineteen people received medical treatment at hospitals, including three store employees, after two women got into an argument and began slinging toxic liquids. One person sustained a serious eye injury.
The store in Baltimore County had to be evacuated Saturday due to toxic fumes, ABC News reports.
Facing charges of first-degree assault, second-degree assault, theft under $100 and malicious destruction of property is Theresa Monique Jefferson, 33. I assume the theft charge comes from wasting gallons of Clorox Stain Fighter With Color Booster.
She’s being held on a whopping $350,000 bond.
The Associated Press reports Jefferson followed her victim — a woman who is currently the girlfriend of the father of Jefferson’s child — into the store and initiated the attack.
Walmart, in a press release, said it can’t believe people that shop in their stores would act this way.
PR cleanup on aisle 5!
[/quote]
Dear god, why would you throw BLEACH around?
[quote=The Associated Press]Jefferson followed her victim — a woman who is currently the girlfriend of the father of Jefferson’s child — into the store and initiated the attack.[/quote]
A baby-daddy fight with bleach in Wal-Mart.
Stay classy.
When they said lets have a clean fight, they meant it.
Is the animal okay?
[img]http://puu.sh/6OQH[/img]
Terrorist attack? Bus crash? Apartment fire?
...
Nope, pissed off woman in the bleach aisle...
Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak bleach fight accident.
Bleach squirtgun fights sounds really exciting to me right now...
And why does all the weird shit always happen in Wal-Marts? Why can't it be like, a K-Mart or something. (And yes, K-Mart still exists.)
haha what the fuck does the goat have to do with anything
What does the farm animal have to do with the story?
[QUOTE=Itachi_Crow;32721691]haha what the fuck does the goat have to do with anything[/QUOTE]
Dammit ninja
I wonder how the fight started...
woman 1 "mr.clean is better!''
woman 2 "no, oxiclean is better''
*swearing and some shitstorms later...
woman 1 ''bytch, ill show u why Mr. Clean is the best!!!!!'' *splashes some Mr.clean bleach on woman 2
*the clean battle starts
well, I don't think they made a mess, since they used clean products
"Clorox Stain Fighter With Color Booster"
I wish the article would have stated the skin color of the women involved, I have three sets of jokes I could use depending if it was black/black, black/white, white/white(longshot I know).
Good thing nobody started throwing ammonia...
[QUOTE=garychencool;32721746]I wonder how the fight started...
woman 1 "mr.clean is better!''
woman 2 "no, oxiclean is better''
*swearing and some shitstorms later...
woman 1 ''bytch, ill show u why Mr. Clean is the best!!!!!'' *splashes some Mr.clean bleach on woman 2
*the clean battle starts[/QUOTE]
Then, a goat.
That would burn your eye so bad. :dance:
[QUOTE=WalMart]
Walmart, in a press release, said it can’t believe people that shop in their stores would act this way.[/QUOTE]
Suuuuure :rolleyes:
That goat is a fucking survivor warrior
The goat is like: Haters gonna hate.
In related news...
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=repxFQXVsHc[/media]
[QUOTE=ExplodingGuy;32721781]Then, a goat.[/QUOTE]
...goes all ninja in dis howze and enters walmart wearing a crysis suit, and walks over to the cleaners products aisle and starts sniffing some bleach. Suddenly, a verbal fight errupted but the goat is not scared, since he's a ninja goat and anything ninja means pro ninja. The fight errupts with woman one splashing Mr. Clean on woman 2. This started a bit of a chain reaction. Both women continue to splash bleach at each other, like as iif they we're lesbians. Splashing each other with lubee or some shit. The ninja goat loves the smell of such cleaning products but never tried any of it. After regenerating some more energy for the nano suit, the ninja goat creaps to a puddle of bleach.
as the fight continues, woman 3, a friend of woman 1 goes all Rambo on this bytch, grabbing the water cannons from her shopping cart, loading it up with Mr. Clean. She dual weilds the water cannons, now bleach cannons and fires into the air, hitting the ceiling and hitting people in nearby aisles. Then she yells, ''get down!'' to woman 1. Then she fires the water cannons at woman 2, pushing her accross the aisle. Then woman 3 passes a bleach cannon to woman 1 and they approach woman 2 likw some kind of army of two shit.
but it looks like woman 2 has some backup of her own. Woman 2's husband arrives with a gardening hose, attached to a water compressor filled with oxiclean bleach, and unleaches gallons of bleach on woman 1 and 3 as the two women go super badass and leap accross the aisles. The man decides to continue spraying. The two women retreat back to the other end of the aisle. Then both see a goat, confused. The so called ninja goat has run out of energy on his nano suit. Then the two women decide to end this. They stuff the goat into a shopping cart, as they do some cover fire, they push the shopping cart at the man, what he doesn't know is that there's a goat on it, who has just gained enough energy to go ninja with the nano suit. The shopping cart hits a pile of bottles of bleach which causes the shopping cart to flip forward, causing the goat to fly accross the rest of the aisle as the goat's nanosuit runs out of energy.
in mid air, the man sees the flying goat and aims for it, which causes it to bounce back at him, causing the eye damage/blinding as he slips on the pools of bleach which are everywhere. Then the goat craches at him which erupts this huge explosion on the water compressor blowing it up which creates this chain reaction on the aisle. The bleach containers from the mans side explodes in a chain reaction which goes down the aisle to the two women, who started to flee the scene. As the containers exploded, it sprayed everywhere, affecting several people nearby.
after the explosion, there was constant moaning of pain from the bleach.
at the goat!? He only suffered from minor injuries since most of the damage was dealt on the nanosuit, which is nothing more that a burnt, corroded crisp.
at the end of this, 19 people recieved medial attention at the local hospital while several others were treated on scene, and the goat walks away, limping in the shadows, like a ninja. He has learned to never go to walmart again.and that women and fucking crazy. People reported seeing a goat leave the scene but security camera footage has no record of the goat entering the building. It's a mystery, a mystery being looked at by the CIA.The goat looks back at the store when he reaches the street, plotting a revenge plot perhaps? No one knows what happen to the goat, maybe he was slaughtered into goat meat, or used to mate, or maybe he's actually plotting a revenge. No one knows where the goat came from, maybe from a nearby farm or maybe it escaped from whatever crysis related thing you can think of.
The two women exit the store. Women 1, ''thanks for everything.'' ''don't mention it'', said woman 3 as they dropped their bleach cannons. Then they do this freeze frame high five with a smooth 360 camera spin on them. They get medical attention and who knows what shit they did together that night. It's a mystery.
the employees who were injured were not in the vicinity of the fight, instead they were jacking off to some shit. They got medial attention because they had to clean the cleaning product mess without proper protection, damn minimum wage Wal-Mart.
Btw, rate me winner, funny or artistic, I spent time on this. And I typed it on my android phone.
I still wanna know why there's a goat in wal-mart. I doubt that it's a service animal. If anything, it'd just try to eat the asparagus.
Walmart is a giant fucking hivemind most of the time, I swear
going in there just sickens me
[QUOTE=IKTM;32721776]Good thing nobody started throwing ammonia...[/QUOTE]
Assuming this is the same story (and I hope it is, I really don't think this happens [I]that[/I] often), one of them apparently did.
[url]http://gizmodo.com/5847985/feuding-women-inadvertently-create-toxic-gas-in-the-middle-of-a-wal+mart[/url]
[IMG]http://www.webstaurantstore.com/noble-chemical-oxy-dip-oxygen-bleach-presoak-destainer-ecolab-17583-alternative-8-lbs/noble-chemical-oxy-dip-oxygen-bleach-presoak-destainer-ecolab-17583-alternative-8-lbs.jpg[/IMG]
Looks like they were, pretty dippy.
[QUOTE=IKTM;32721776]Good thing nobody started throwing ammonia...[/QUOTE]
According to this, they did.
[URL]http://gizmodo.com/5847985/feuding-women-inadvertently-create-toxic-gas-in-the-middle-of-a-wal+mart[/URL]
That would explain all the hospitalizations
EDIT:
JSM DAMMIT
I bet the editor told the writer that his story wasn't long enough, so he threw in a picture of a goat and added it to beef it up.
[QUOTE=IKTM;32721776]Good thing nobody started throwing ammonia...[/QUOTE]
Looks like Maverick is back. :v:
Wait, how did 19 people get involved again? Were they just walking by casually as they were fighting and happened to get some on them?
Whatever happened to pulling out hair extensions and biting?
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