What's up fp. I'm sure many of you remember me, some fondly and some not so fondly.
To those who remember me fondly: watup?
To those without fond memories, I'm sorry bby, can I make it up to you?
There have been several iterations of the anonymous confessional in the past, and I figured it was about time for a reboot. I'm not going to bother digging up examples from ancient threads.
Bonimo has graciously spent some time gathering a few of the older versions hosted by Hezzy, I haven't read through these since v1 or v2 and just noticed it hadn't been done in a while.
SORRY IF MY RESPONSES ARE 2TALY DIFFERENT THAN HEZZY'S, HE AND I ARE DIFFERENT PEEPS OBVI
[QUOTE=Bomimo;36118914]Nothing can ever exceed Version 3. If it's accessible from the OP, take read guys. Lots of wincest and one serious tearjerker.
[editline]29th May 2012[/editline]
Turns out the first 3 threads are lost to time, but with Ventilated's permission (i didn't ask), i'll just drop the links to the next four versions:
[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=778040"]Version 4[/URL]
[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/threads/797556-Facepunch-Anonymous-Confessional-v5-(BLOG-EDITION!)"]Version 5[/URL]
[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/threads/968961"]Version 6[/URL]
[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1127594&highlight=Anonymous+confessional"]Version 7[/URL]
There might be some gold in v4, i dunno...[/QUOTE]
The long and short of this is: anything that you've wanted to confess to someone you can tell us anonymously. Your identity will only be known by me and only by the email address that you send from.
So here are some prompts of things you can write about: have you ever thought about having sex with a sibling or animal? Have you ever acted on those urges? Have you ever done something as a masturbatory act that many would consider strange or disgusting? Do you just want to confess your love about someone that you know? A secret crush that you just want to get off your chest?
Let us know! Seem people may respond with advice, or just a cross examination of what you've posted.
Try to keep them truthful, but no one will know if you are lying.
There is a fine line of things that I will not keep anonymous, but that is a line I don't suspect this will cross.
Start confessing: email [EMAIL="fpanonconf@gmail.com"]fpanonconf@gmail.com[/EMAIL] to get the ball rolling. I'll hopefully post new confessions a few times a day, but that all depends on how quick you all submit them. I'll also try to add links to all posts with confessions to this op.
Happy confessing!
Confession posts: [URL="http://facepunch.com/threads/1185717?p=36055809&viewfull=1#post36055809"]1[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/threads/1185717?p=36056724&viewfull=1#post36056724"]2[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/threads/1185717?p=36061153&viewfull=1#post36061153"]3[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/threads/1185717?p=36066819&viewfull=1#post36066819"]4[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/threads/1185717?p=36081039&viewfull=1#post36081039"]5[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36089859&viewfull=1#post36089859"]6[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36094061&viewfull=1#post36094061"]7[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36102439&viewfull=1#post36102439"]8[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36111430&viewfull=1#post36111430"]9[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36123896&viewfull=1#post36123896"]10[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36147347&viewfull=1#post36147347"]11[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36149093&viewfull=1#post36149093"]12[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36150647&viewfull=1#post36150647"]13[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36151764&viewfull=1#post36151764"]14[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36161818&viewfull=1#post36161818"]15[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36168739&viewfull=1#post36168739"]16[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36209020&viewfull=1#post36209020"]17[/URL], [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36222061&viewfull=1#post36222061"]18[/URL], [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185717&p=36249558&viewfull=1#post36249558]19[/url]
[B]SOLID GOLD ONLY[/B]: [URL="http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1187856"]1[/URL]
oh boy
Oh shit, I remember the previous one. Some weird shit. Loadsa incest and rape.
Oh man I'm so psyched.
I can't wait.
It's going to be a beautiful summer.
Looking very much forward to seeing you all confess your attractions to your family dogs. :v:
Oh boy, Can't wait for gorilla-rape stories.
Aight, Ive send you an email.
Aint nothing bad.
I told a joke to my stepbrother:
"I got Alzheimers, I get new friends everyday".
Next day I realised his father died because of it
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;36055483]Aight, Ive send you an email.
Aint nothing bad.[/QUOTE]
Don't do this, don't post here and be like "i sent you an e-mail" because that winds up ruining the anonymity of it.
[quote=john doe]So yea, I have a crush on this chick and she tells me what she does with her bf, she also told me what she masturbaits with.
Just thought Id let you know[/quote]
[quote=john doe]I deleted Half-Life 3 because I'm tired of working on it.[/quote]
"Masturbaits."
[QUOTE=john doe]I deleted Half-Life 3 because I'm tired of working on it.[/QUOTE] I didn't know Gabe Newell came on FP. Just grab a sandvich out of the fridge, mate. Heavy says it's ok.
I liked it better when most of the stories were real, now it's just people trying to be funny.
dont forget to comment on them vent
[QUOTE=tommyc225;36056344]I liked it better when most of the stories were real, now it's just people trying to be funny.[/QUOTE]
i liked it better then too, but now you can never be sure what is true and what isn't especially with furries or bronies or whatever and doing whatever they do i can never count out bestiality. i've seen some messed up users on this forum and i'll post practically everything that gets sent to me. if it crosses a certain line i'll break that anonymity
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;36056378]dont forget to comment on them vent[/QUOTE]
sure thing, thanks chief
[quote=john doe]y bf has sucked dogcock and is constantly trying to get me into his
fetishes
and it works most of the time[/quote]pretty sure this is fake, and pretty sure they forgot a letter at the front there... needles to say this is pretty gross. did he hold the dog down and force it or was it consensual? if you e-mail to tell more about this experience, please reference the original e-mail TY!
[quote=john doe]Hello Facepunch, it's time I said this to you. Anonymously of course.
I had probably the best shot in the world, I was going to college early by 4 years, decent friends who weren't complete idiots, and I was having fun. That was 9 weeks ago.
9 weeks ago I said some things that were interpreted as threats. The next day, I was sent to a mental hospital for 5 days. I was banned from that school, and was supposed to cut ties with everyone that I knew. I had everything, and then I had nothing. [/quote]I'm curious about what was said that would get you sent to a hospital for 5 days, I'm also curious if it was an institution or if it was just a rehab center. When people I know have gone to the hospital for being suicidal or other kinds of crazy they spend a week in a rehab facility.
you were set to go to college 4 years early? if i were you i'd be glad that that stuff happened so you won't be alienated at college by people 4-8 years older than you. It would be a miserable experience. Once you get back into school and make some new friends you'll be fine duder!
[quote=john doe][quote=john doe]Hello Facepunch, it's time I said this to you. Anonymously of course.
I had probably the best shot in the world, I was going to college early by 4 years, decent friends who weren't complete idiots, and I was having fun. That was 9 weeks ago.
9 weeks ago I said some things that were interpreted as threats. The next day, I was sent to a mental hospital for 5 days. I was banned from that school, and was supposed to cut ties with everyone that I knew. I had everything, and then I had nothing.[/quote]Firstly, the college has a program for advanced kids, so I wouldn't have been alienated by normal students, as there would have been 24 other kids in my class.
and secondly it was more of a mental facility than a rehab center. it fucking sucked tbh
lets say that when you combine university and mention of a non-existant gun people go nuts[/quote]sounds like you were just plain ol' dumb
[quote=john doe]i have a foot fetish[/quote]oh really?! how interesting, you and countless other duders. I never understood how people can have foot fetishes though, second only to the asshole, feet are probably the grossest part of the human body. You keep them in tight fabric, sometimes leather, for hours at a time, they sweat, they accumulate toe gunk from socks. i had an ex that sucked my toes once because i had the flu and wouldn't kiss her 'cause i didn't want her to get sick, really weird, never happened again.
[quote=john doe]my bf has sucked dogcock and is constantly trying to get me into
hisfetishes
>and it works most of the time
Afaik it was consensual, dogs like getting their cocks sucked like
anything else I guess
He\'s pretty much talked me into watersports and some other tamer
stuff like bdsm and dom/sub[/quote]You should talk to him about how dolphins are better lovers than dogs. There's an article floating around there (I'm sure if you just googled "sex with dolphins" it would come up) that talks about how dolphins are the only mammals besides humans that have sex for pleasure.
has your boyfriend ever done anything with an animal with a prehensile penis? i don't actually want you to answer that, it's just a humorous thought.
Triple post. This one's a good'n
[quote=john doe]Oh man I dont even know where to start... I guess I should go bactk to the very beginning when I was a boy because otherwise you might not understand how I ended up the way I did...
Way back in the day when I was fourteen, I had this friend who I'll call "Jimothy." Jimothy and I were best friends back then and we did everything together! We shared all our secrets and hung out all the time and were really really close. It was the best friendship you could ever possibly imagine, and everythign was perfect for a while...
Then when I was fifteen, things chagned...
Jimothy and I were still best friends but we were both going through puberty and things started to get a bit weird between us. There was like this tension that just wasnt there before and I think we kinda started to like each other as more than friends. One day Jimothy came over and asked if I wanted to play a game. I said yes and he said how about truth or dare...?
One thing led to another and we ended up kind of kissing a little... I like d it... But then dad walked in on us kissing and he totally FLIPPED OUT SO MUCH! He said to Jimothy "get out of my house, I dont let gayboys stay in my house!"
Jimothy ran away and dad turned his anger to me. I was so scared that he would make me stop seeing Jimothy. And he did. He screamed at me and threw my mickey mouse clock at the wall and broke it (the clock not the wall). He sent me to church camp to learn prayer.
I was there all summer, and this year Jimothy and I just arent the same. I WANT to be his friend, but I cant as long as he's still a gayboy, because dad doesnt allow gayboys in his house. It is really dumb sometimes that I cant be his friend anymore, but it is just against the rules I guess. All I can do is have faith and be strong. I just hope Jimothy drops this gay stuff because I really dont want that anymore. I mean I liked it at the time, but I was young and didnt know better, so it doesnt really count...right?[/quote]
So those bible camps work for turning homosexuals straight? You should really give it some thought because you don't want to be living a lie. You could just chalk it up to experimentation since many people go through that phase when they're teenagers/college aged.
This might be a really bad assumption, but I'm guessing you're from a southern state or a strict family (leaving it at that to avoid being racist). you should get in touch with Jimothy and hash it out and maybe sit down with your dad and talk to him about it. If your dad is the type to beat you you might want to lay up a little bit instead of talking to him, unless you want him put away. Child abuse is no laughing matter, and it sounds like he may be abusive.
if you can't sort yourself out while you're in high school you should be able to when you get to college. you'll be in some uncomfortable situations that will force you to figure yourself out, or you might not. i have an uncle who didn't know he was gay until he was in his late 30's and was married, made it a little bit complicated since he is an conservative jew and his partner was catholic (now converted, but he's still in the religious closet with his family!)
[quote=john doe]hey fuckers, about a week ago i was at school and shit talking to my friends about how mw3 was decent when my friend, we'll call him mike, when we see this kid who's in a lower grade who wears the same fucking shirts every day(Its either an MW3, MW2, or blackops shirt, he changes between them because he's a hardcore MLG 360 pro noscoper clutch kid) with a snapback, shorts and vans, with his cholo friends and his slutty girlfriend(she's 14 and a "BAD BITCH WHO YOU AINT EVER GONNA FUCK WITH"). he walks up to us and says "fucker what you say about MODERN WARFARE 3? I'll kick your ass 360 no scope nigga, try me faggot, you aint got SHIT on me pussy ass ACR using scrub ass nigga." at this point me and my friends are staring this kid, especially our black friend (lets call him shaun), who eventually breaks the line of silence we had by saying "Saying 'nigga' doesn't make you cool you illiterate prick." shaun just stands there staring the kid down still with a "I wan't to kick this motherfucker in the dick" face, when the hardcore MLG 360 PRO NOSCOPER CLUTCH kid says "LETS JUMP THIS NIGGA!" They all jump at shawn and punch him, eventually knocking him to the floor when me and the other "SCRUB ASS NIGGAS" just pull out pencils and stab them with then, they then ran to the office to snitch on us, but leaving the HARDCORE MLG 360 PRO NOSCOPER CLUTCH kid's girlfriend behind, so then we all walk up to her to scare her away from us, and when she run to the office to find her boyfriend, we throw shit at her(Rocks, clumps of dirt, erasers, pencils, pieces of paper.) and then shaun ends up throwing a rock nailing her in the back of the head, she falls over and we run over because we're not sure if he killed her or just knocked her out, we see some blood gush out so we just rap it up with some paper towels and tape, we decide to hide her somewhere safe so when she wakes up she doesn't get kidnapped and shit,so we hide her in the bathroom from the first story(Gym Asthmatic one if you've read it in the old thread) and end up doing what we do best, fuck bitches get money.[/quote]
This seems like it might be fake. really foolish if you've pelted a girl with rocks at school and she may be seriously injured but you just wrapped her head and hid her somewhere? Really great guy.
not sure why there's animosity about call of duty at school, seems kind of dumb but entirely valid i guess.
chances are you didn't "fuck bitches get money" but "fucked each other got stds"
[quote=john doe]Wot's goin' on, Facepunch? Let me just say that what I'm writing here will be a tad messy, structure and grammar wise. I hate being so emotional.
Let's start with my childhood. I was bipolar (still is), and was experiencing constant shit every fucking day of my childhood. Since first grade to the beginning of High School I was picked on. Picked on, mocked, bullied. I was both mentally and physically hurt, almost every day of my god damn entire life. School was a fucking hellhole. I kept my parents oblivious of this at that time, didn't want to bug them. They already had enough worries as it was, with my little sister having a misshaped heart, and my dad's work place going bankrupt. My mother was depressed too, so I thought that it would only harm them to give them my problems
.
I had only two, true friends at that time. Since everyone who pretended to be friends with me exploited my goodwill, I eventually isolated myself from everyone but the two friends.
One of them was a girl. A girl I fell in love with. Cliché, ain't it. Thing is, she was the one that kept my mood up. Kept me from emotionally exploding. She was my pillar, my support. Whenever she was gone, the world turned dark. We shared so many interests, we were that movie-like friend couple that is bound to marry each other (but when I finally confessed this to her, she admitted she was asexual. Heh.)
Oh god, this is a mess. Anyways, years passed, and we are at 9th grade. I'll keep it short, like this; I was alone, when some jerk I had never met before came towards me with a crowd and pushed me over, stomping my legs, and clapping in front of my face. I snapped, took a rock and threw it, hitting him at the side of his head. I then leaped at him and kept scratching him on the face, while his audience just watched.
Now, almost a year ago I attempted suicide (by choking myself with a bike lock), but gave up.
You know, this is turning into a wall of text. Why the hell am I even writing this? Guess I wanted to just get it out.[/quote]
Sorry, but I LOL'd about the bike lock.
If your friend is really asexual it would just mean that she doesn't have a sexual attraction to you, right? I mean you're friends, if you're the best of friends you're close. Just be careful you don't get hurt when being asexual stops being trendy and she falls for someone else you know and you're hosed.
You might want to think about going to therapy. Since you tried to kill yourself but gave up and didn't get caught I assume not many people know this. When I was depressed I started taking medication, and it helped a lot. I got into a better state of mind and decreased my dosage (after talking to my doctor), now I only take it for anxiety.
If you need to talk to someone, feel free to write more and hopefully no one will bash you ITT!!!! or get a blog, i'd read it and try to help out when i can provided you're not an ultra nerd who'll become obsessed with me, that always gets creepy.
[quote=john doe]
Facepunch. "People." I suppose that anonymity is my shield. My bulkhead. My boots. I can talk now without worrying about your "opinions" or whether or not you think I'm "weird." Go ahead and laugh at this if you want to but I'll be laughing at you from the shadows.
People are confusing to me. But I don't care to know them anyway. I see these "gold members" acting all elite like they are better to me and I think "if I saw you for real I could destroy you like an insect." You have no idea who are are laughing at. Calling me a boostar like I am unworthy. Pathetic subhumans. Fools. Whatever. I don't care. Its not just them. Even in fast threads you turn me away and rate me dumb. Me dumb? The irony is delicious. You tickle me with your shortsightedness. Everybody around me is a fool. I laugh at you BRONIES too for thinking freindship is even real. We are all just shadows and we will move apart as the sun rises and sinks and we won't even care. None of you could ever understand the truht...
Fuck you facepunch. Fuck you...[/quote]Sounds like you have some serious deep seeded issues that you need to work out, and it sounds like you still come on this website even though no one really likes you here? I know that a lot of people get shunned from certain sections, but at a certain point most of them stop posting.
It's great that this anonymity exists, because if it didn't I'd be worried that you're homicidal and might attack people here, but instead you (hopefully) don't know anyone here in real life!
[quote=newly jane doe]I chopped my dick off while cooking.[/quote]
sad day for you and your dick.
can some of you lot respond to these further? i don't always have the best insight!
Who the fuck is John Doe?
[quote=angry nerd]Facepunch. "People." I suppose that anonymity is my shield. My bulkhead. My boots. I can talk now without worrying about your "opinions" or whether or not you think I'm "weird." Go ahead and laugh at this if you want to but I'll be laughing at you from the shadows.
People are confusing to me. But I don't care to know them anyway. I see these "gold members" acting all elite like they are better to me and I think "if I saw you for real I could destroy you like an insect." You have no idea who are are laughing at. Calling me a boostar like I am unworthy. Pathetic subhumans. Fools. Whatever. I don't care. Its not just them. Even in fast threads you turn me away and rate me dumb. Me dumb? The irony is delicious. You tickle me with your shortsightedness. Everybody around me is a fool. I laugh at you BRONIES too for thinking freindship is even real. We are all just shadows and we will move apart as the sun rises and sinks and we won't even care. None of you could ever understand the truht...
Fuck you facepunch. Fuck you...[/quote]
im dying
[QUOTE=Slowbro;36066870]Who the fuck is John Doe?[/QUOTE]Your name makes up for it. John Doe is a name for an unidentified male. Same goes for females which is Jane Doe.
[QUOTE=RobyYe;36066897]Your name makes up for it. John Doe is a name for an unidentified male. Same goes for females which is Jane Doe.[/QUOTE]
Very good.
Although I prefer John Smith as my name in terms of anonymity.
[QUOTE=Sourcegamer8;36068042]Very good.
Although I prefer John Smith as my name in terms of anonymity.[/QUOTE]
I personally am a fan of Michael Bouble
[QUOTE=Sourcegamer8;36068042]Very good.
Although I prefer John Smith as my name in terms of anonymity.[/QUOTE]
Too much baggage with that name.
-This was a rather stupid comment to begin with-
I'm pretty sure it was satire
Well, we can't really know anyways, since this is Anonymous confessions, after all.
I can't wait to see the 400 confessions of self-diagnosed mental illness such as OCD, social anxiety, bipolar, etc.
[QUOTE=Blooper Reel;36070900]Well, we can't really know anyways, since this is Anonymous confessions, after all.[/QUOTE]
No it's Fedalkyn.
So is this anonymous confessional, or agony aunt?
You'd miss out on interesting stuff if you take the piss out of people too hard, by-the-way
[QUOTE=Fedalkyn;36071843]So is this anonymous confessional, or agony aunt?
You'd miss out on interesting stuff if you take the piss out of people too hard, by-the-way[/QUOTE]
wat
[quote=john doe]I secretly have a crush on a girl i know but she keeps chasing a guy and he's fucking around with her feelings, it's starting to piss me off and i don't know how to deal with it.[/quote]
beat him up
[quote=john doe]i dont mind the idea of some sort of big boom aslong as it kills all the people i hate
thanks[/quote]
you're welcome?
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