Australian Zombie Elephant Gaining Strength, Aussies Are Doing Nothing To Stop It - Polidicks

[release]An elephant calf that was believed to have died during a nine-day labor is feeding itself and has earned the nickname "Mr. Shuffles" since learning to stand, Taronga Zoo officials said Thursday. Keepers said Tuesday that the calf had died during the difficult labor, which started March 1. But a live calf was born early Wednesday to mother Porntip. "Despite no vital signs of life for several days, we now have obviously a healthy little calf on the ground," Taronga Zoo director Cameron Kerr told reporters Thursday. He said the calf had turned upside down during the traumatic labor and may have entered a coma, fooling zoo vets into thinking it had died. When it was born at 3:27 a.m. on Wednesday, zoo officials called it a miracle. New mother Porntip, 18 years old and the matriarch of the zoo herd, is being very gentle with her newborn, which weighs a healthy 256 pounds (116 kilograms), Kerr said. "This little calf has been through an incredibly tough time," he said. "There is no record anywhere else in the world ... of a labor that has gone this long. There is no recording of a calf being absolutely still for several days like this." Despite his apparent good health, however, Mr. Shuffles is not out of the woods yet and keepers were maintaining an around-the-clock vigil. Other members of Taronga's elephant herd have warmly accepted the calf, and even missed their breakfast on Thursday morning to greet him. The calf and his mother are expected to remain in a warm elephant barn out of public sight for some time, Kerr said. The calf is the second Asian elephant to be born at the Sydney zoo. [url]http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=10070163[/url][/release] What the fuck, it was dead for a few days then comes back to life. [b]This is how it all fucking starts, you damn aussies better stop this thing before it infects the world[/b]

What in the fuck...

Zombie elephants? Dear god what if they get to the monkeys? If they get to the monkeys we are next.

That is freaky

this isn't in the guide

An Australian FP needs to go solid snake on that zoo's ass.

But zombie elephants are preciouses that must be kept secure..

They ban everything that they think might help their country but they end up not banning something that can destroy the entire world. It's a joke.

[quote]He said the calf had turned upside down during the traumatic labor and may have entered a coma, fooling zoo vets into thinking it had died. When it was born at 3:27 a.m. on Wednesday, zoo officials called it a miracle.[/quote] Over exaggeration, obviously. :ms:

Who the hell names an elephant Porntip?

Australia didn't ban zombie elephants?

Porntip? That doesn't make any damn sense!

[QUOTE=Murdoco;20693518]Australia didn't ban zombie elephants?[/QUOTE] why ban when we want more mwhahahaha

[QUOTE=hl2poo;20693470]They ban everything that they think might help their country but they end up not banning something that can destroy the entire world. It's a joke.[/QUOTE] Australia is obviously the best troll on Earth

Gonna need a couple of these: [img]http://forum.gon.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=222843&stc=1&d=1230200409[/img]

[QUOTE=Glitch360;20693586]Gonna need a couple of these: [img]http://forum.gon.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=222843&stc=1&d=1230200409[/img][/QUOTE] Those bullets remind me of filter cigarettes.

[QUOTE=Glitch360;20693586]Gonna need a couple of these: [img]http://forum.gon.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=222843&stc=1&d=1230200409[/img][/QUOTE] I think you'd be better off with an elephant gun.

Did anyone else notice its mother's name is Porntip? What the fuck Australia, am I reading this correctly?

[QUOTE=Teal Moose;20693690]Did anyone else notice its mother's name is Porntip? What the fuck Australia, am I reading this correctly?[/QUOTE] [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porntip[/url] Legit name?

[QUOTE=Eli Vance;20693716][url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porntip[/url] Legit name?[/QUOTE] Well fuck, it really is a name. It would suck to have that name though, just imagine all the awkward greetings.

So they're absolutely certain that their shitty monitoring equipment didn't just randomly bug out and report no lifesigns?

[QUOTE=Mexican;20693673]I think you'd be better off with an elephant gun.[/QUOTE] That thing practically is an elephant gun. Plus, it's only a baby elephant

Why don't they just ban Zombie Elephants?

Because that would be unlogical

[QUOTE=Teal Moose;20693740]Well fuck, it really is a name. It would suck to have that name though, just imagine all the awkward greetings.[/QUOTE] "Hello, I am Porntip Cummings" "10 dollars gets me how much?" "Fuck you"

what a twist!!! i thought monkeys would start this, elephants weren't anywhere near the top of the list

As the article stated, the calf probably fell into comatose, fooling them into thinking it was dead.

a zombie elephant born from "porntip" australia you fuckers you better not take that thing out of your [URL="http://www.badassoftheweek.com/australia.html"]HELL ISLAND![/URL]

Porntip?

It's like dwarf fortress in real life.