Man injects himself with 3.5 million year old bacteria in quest for eternal life - Polidicks

[b]Man injects himself with 3.5 million year old bacteria in quest for eternal life[/b] Via [url=http://www.geek.com/news/man-injects-himself-with-3-5-million-year-old-bacteria-in-quest-for-eternal-life-1635401/]Geek[/url] ____________________ [quote][img]http://i.imgur.com/9K35Ozt.jpg[/img] People do some pretty crazy stuff in the quest for eternal life. Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon tromped around the Caribbean and parts of Florida in a quest for the Fountain of Youth. The Nazi’s tried to kill Indy and his dad in their quest for the Holy Grail. Now, there’s a scientist in Russia who has injected himself with a 3.5 million year old bacteria in his quest for eternal life, or he’s auditioning to be the next villain on Stan Lee’s World of Heroes. Anatoli Brouchkov isn’t just your average mad scientist, he’s the head of the Geocryology Department at Moscow State University. His job is dedicated to the study of frozen rock, soil, and underground masses – which later became a very distinct area of study in 1920s Russia (or USSR for you history buffs). After the discovery of Bacillus F, which managed to survive for millions of years, scientists decided to test it on fruit flies and mice to see what effects it would have. It did allow for older mice to reproduce after they had gone past their prime, and even showed regenerative properties in plants.[/quote] That takes balls, I must say. On the other hand, what could possibly go wrong...? :v:

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;48813732][B]Man injects himself with 3.5 million year old bacteria in quest for eternal life[/B] Via [URL="http://www.geek.com/news/man-injects-himself-with-3-5-million-year-old-bacteria-in-quest-for-eternal-life-1635401/"]Geek[/URL] _____________ [B]what could possibly go wrong...[/B]?:v:[/QUOTE] stronk russians zombies

Such a flawed quest...

well if you don't feel like fucking with ethics committees you have only so many options

This man is a inspiration.

[QUOTE=DELL;48813830]This man is a inspiration.[/QUOTE] [I]Patient zero.[/I]

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;48813837][I]Patient zero.[/I][/QUOTE] Both he is. Glory to our new leader or destroyer all glory to him.

Wolbachia. Male to female. [I]Copulation.[/I] [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Shit post." - Seiteki))[/highlight]

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;48813732](or USSR for you history buffs)[/QUOTE] apparently a vague awareness going back 25 years makes you a history buff now

[QUOTE=kyle877;48813845]Wolbachia. Male to female. [I]Copulation.[/I][/QUOTE] [i]Burgers.[/i]

And now we wait

[QUOTE=Daemon White;48813902]And now we wait[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Pretiacruento;48813837][I]Patient zero.[/I][/QUOTE] If we're going to go down that road let's make it proper: "Anatoli Brouchkov woke up one morning a week later with a mild grade fever. He shrugged on and carried out his daily routine, but by nightfall he was in a cold sweat and a [I]high[/I] grade fever. The next day was similar to the night before; flashes between shivering and what felt like heatstroke. This went on from 6 AM to 6 PM until he became, quite briefly, confused and slightly delirious. This is when he decided to try and sleep through the illness once again. By this point he was extremely tired anyway. The next day was actually better from the last, but when he woke up it didn't feel that way. For the first ten minutes he had a massive headache and could not see properly. Just about when he was going to dial for emergency services his symptoms seemed to improve massively. He returned to work at 11:30 AM for a half day. Concerned faces asked if he felt alright, "You look pale, Anatoli. You sure you're alright?" and "You could've stayed at home another day, I'd say." were common observations. Little did Anatoli Brouchkov know, but his entire body was being replaced by the very same virus he injected himself with in a quest for longer, healthier lives. His discovery had, in essence, consumed and replicated his entire body as he slept. He was now in command of in imitation of himself, something that was merely posing as his natural state - but it wasn't natural. It was not confined, either. It could change. Now it was about to work on the final frontier for total conquest and control. His mind."

who would want to live a life of eternal unrest

[QUOTE=Incoming.;48813919]If we're going to go down that road let's make it proper: "Anatoli Brouchkov woke up one morning a week later with a mild grade fever. He shrugged on and carried out his daily routine, but by nightfall he was in a cold sweat and a [I]high[/I] grade fever. The next day was similar to the night before; flashes between shivering and what felt like heatstroke. This went on from 6 AM to 6 PM until he became, quite briefly, confused and slightly delirious. This is when he decided to try and sleep through the illness once again. By this point he was extremely tired anyway. The next day was actually better from the last, but when he woke up it didn't feel that way. For the first ten minutes he had a massive headache and could not see properly. Just about when he was going to dial for emergency services his symptoms seemed to improve massively. He returned to work at 11:30 AM for a half day. Concerned faces asked if he felt alright, "You look pale, Anatoli. You sure you're alright?" and "You could've stayed at home another day, I'd say." were common observations. Little did Anatoli Brouchkov know, but his entire body was being replaced by the very same virus he injected himself with in a quest for longer, healthier lives. His discovery had, in essence, consumed and replicated his entire body as he slept. He was now in command of in imitation of himself, something that was merely posing as his natural state - but it wasn't natural. It was not confined, either. It could change. Now it was about to work on the final frontier for total conquest and control. His mind."[/QUOTE] Anatoli Brouchkov awoke one morning, to find he had turned into a giant cockroach.

[QUOTE=Incoming.;48813919]If we're going to go down that road let's make it proper: "Anatoli Brouchkov woke up one morning a week later with a mild grade fever. He shrugged on and carried out his daily routine, but by nightfall he was in a cold sweat and a [I]high[/I] grade fever. The next day was similar to the night before; flashes between shivering and what felt like heatstroke. This went on from 6 AM to 6 PM until he became, quite briefly, confused and slightly delirious. This is when he decided to try and sleep through the illness once again. By this point he was extremely tired anyway. The next day was actually better from the last, but when he woke up it didn't feel that way. For the first ten minutes he had a massive headache and could not see properly. Just about when he was going to dial for emergency services his symptoms seemed to improve massively. He returned to work at 11:30 AM for a half day. Concerned faces asked if he felt alright, "You look pale, Anatoli. You sure you're alright?" and "You could've stayed at home another day, I'd say." were common observations. Little did Anatoli Brouchkov know, but his entire body was being replaced by the very same virus he injected himself with in a quest for longer, healthier lives. His discovery had, in essence, consumed and replicated his entire body as he slept. He was now in command of in imitation of himself, something that was merely posing as his natural state - but it wasn't natural. It was not confined, either. It could change. Now it was about to work on the final frontier for total conquest and control. His mind."[/QUOTE] Oh boy, Alex Mercer when!?

[QUOTE=Kommodore;48813853]apparently a vague awareness going back 25 years makes you a history buff now[/QUOTE] There were people at my school who didn't know that the Soviet Union existed or which side Hitler was on in the war, so news articles can't really take chances these days.

[QUOTE=TheNerdPest14;48814024]Oh boy, Alex Mercer when!?[/QUOTE] More like The Thing.

[QUOTE=Trixil;48814018]who would want to live a life of eternal unrest[/QUOTE] I sure as hell would not be bored if I could live for a super long time.

[QUOTE=SpaceGhost;48814065]I sure as hell would not be bored if I could live for a super long time.[/QUOTE] Idle thought and bureaucratic dissatisfaction is my favorite pastime.

[QUOTE=Trixil;48814018]who would want to live a life of eternal unrest[/QUOTE] Not having to be bound by age would be pretty neat.

I'll place my bet on cybernetics, thank you very much.

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;48813732][b]Man injects himself with 3.5 million year old bacteria in quest for eternal life[/b] [quote] Reproduce - Regenerative effects[/QUOTE] [/quote] Couldn't help but think of this; [t]https://warosu.org/data/tg/img/0267/68/1377178661254.jpg[/t]

[QUOTE=Incoming.;48814076]Idle thought and bureaucratic dissatisfaction is my favorite pastime.[/QUOTE] yeah but eternal oblivion kinda sucks

Either the worst or best decision he ever made, I guess the former.

[QUOTE=Sobotnik;48814031]There were people at my school who didn't know that the Soviet Union existed or which side Hitler was on in the war, so news articles can't really take chances these days.[/QUOTE] man it's really sad how we have to remind the population of that kind of shit wouldn't surprise me if we forgot the Holocaust within a few generations

[QUOTE=Lord of Ears;48814264]yeah but eternal oblivion kinda sucks[/QUOTE] that wasn't sarcasm

And watch as nothing happens because we are probably immune to the bacteria due to it being 3.5 million fucking years old, probably every living thing in this world is immune to this.

Eternal life is only cool if that also means you are able to withstand severe damage.

[QUOTE=NeverGoWest;48814455]And watch as nothing happens because we are probably immune to the bacteria due to it being 3.5 million fucking years old, probably every living thing in this world is immune to this.[/QUOTE] As a species we have only been around for 200,000 years, good chance we are not immune.

it will probably change nothing or, more excitingly, be targeted by white blood cells and absorbed, doing nothing