What if the fu- Woman finds burglar sleeping on her couch - Polidicks

[img]https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfBzpZWUZLkXborR1ehXLQP7tSlSbLncQ7ih9y-NAMUStKeIyv[/img] [quote=Florida]A central Florida woman says she woke up to find a suspected burglar asleep on her couch. Police arrested the 26-year-old man Tuesday. He's charged with burglarizing several businesses before making his way into the Mount Dora home. Orlando television station WFTV reports the woman heard snoring coming from the living room while she was making coffee. She found the man asleep on her couch, covered with a blanket. He had helped himself to a beer from her refrigerator before going to sleep. When police arrived, [B]they woke him up by removing the blanket. He was holding a butcher knife he had taken from the kitchen[/B] Police say they found evidence on him that linked him to three other burglaries and a car break-in. [/quote] [url]http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/Florida-Woman-Finds-Sleeping-Burglar-on-Her-Couch-246124571.html[/url] Obviously the couch is the true criminal in this case. Should have gotten a temperpedic.

[QUOTE]they woke him up by removing the blanket. He was holding a butcher knife he had taken from the kitchen[/QUOTE] Yeah she's glad she called the cops.

[QUOTE]When police arrived, they woke him up by removing the blanket. He was holding a butcher knife he had taken from the kitchen[/QUOTE] I've heard of morning wood but this is ridiculous

Good thing she called the cops instead of confronting him

bae caught me stealin

[QUOTE=usaokay;44071974]Must be a comfy couch.[/QUOTE] The comfiest it seems; to not wake up in the entire time before the police arrived (which probably wasn't very long considering florida)

I would have carefully wrapped him, and the couch, with plastic wrap and then I'd get a friend to help cart him out to the lawn so everyone could laugh at him. (without the knife, of course, that's my goddamn knife!) For those of you who have never done this, it might seem hard but it's quite easy if you're steady and patient. Falling asleep after breaking into my place has consequences, he might even have woken up with a dick mustache drawn on his face for such insolence.

[QUOTE=JumpinJackFlash;44076621]I would have carefully wrapped him, and the couch, with plastic wrap and then I'd get a friend to help cart him out to the lawn so everyone could laugh at him. (without the knife, of course, that's my goddamn knife!) For those of you who have never done this, it might seem hard but it's quite easy if you're steady and patient. Falling asleep after breaking into my place has consequences, he might even have woken up with a dick mustache drawn on his face for such insolence.[/QUOTE] Or take a shit on his face, give him a hitler

Long hours, graveyard shift; no wonder he fell asleep. I feel his pain.

"This couch looks good, maybe it's worth stealing. I have to test it."

[QUOTE=cr2142;44076931]Or take a shit on his face, give him a hitler[/QUOTE] The sign would read: Adolf Shitface.

[QUOTE=DarkWolf2;44077478]The sign would read: Adolf Shitface.[/QUOTE] surely you mean Adolf Shitler

Would be funny if they woke him up with an alarm clock.

[QUOTE=Desuh;44078006]Would be funny if they woke him up with an alarm clock.[/QUOTE] Or with some sirens haha

maybe it was a homeless man looking for a place to sleep..? and the knife was just for personal defense?

[QUOTE=DarkSiper;44079311]maybe it was a homeless man looking for a place to sleep..? and the knife was just for personal defense?[/QUOTE] eh; I don't think playing the devils advocate works too well here. It's not like she left the door open and I'd definitely ask before staying in someones house on their couch with their kitchen knife (hey that shit could be cutco knives those are expensive as hell) if I was homeless [editline]28th February 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=DarkWolf2;44077478]The sign would read: Adolf Shitface.[/QUOTE] Mein Kampfy Eclectic Tales Of Feces

It would only be funnier if he broke in and left money.

[QUOTE=JJones;44079502]It would only be funnier if he broke in and left money.[/QUOTE] the next big main gameplay mechanic of future anti-thief games

[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;44079515]the next big main gameplay mechanic of future anti-thief games[/QUOTE] Garrett's twin brother, Barrett.

[QUOTE=JJones;44079623]Garrett's twin brother, Barrett.[/QUOTE] Barrett only shoots loads-emone arrows down peoples chimneys.