i jsut visited my grandparents for the last week up in washington. Lets get some information here straight before delving into the deets you know. Im just gonna say this right up front because it wouldnt make sense another way. i have a fear of pooping in other peoples toilets. i just cant do it i dont even know why i just cant. anyway, onto the rest of the story.
i was up at my grandparents house in washington and i of course had a poop about 10 minutes before i left. for the first few days things were going fine, having fun with all my relatives again and whatnot, and then about at day 4 I feel like i need to have a good poo, so i gather all my strength and go into the bathroom. after about 15 minutes of trying i just cant do it, my body doesnt wanna do it you know, my butthole just doesnt unclench (its pretty good at loosening up normally). so i leave and just brush it off. nbd right? well I ended up staying longer than i expected up in washington, a full 7 days, not a single poop during those 7 days. Fast forward to coming home and I just went do bed and didn't think anything of it.
well today I am definitely regretting it. i thought it was weird that i didnt feel like i had to poop, i didnt have an urge to or anything, and after 8 days of not going i decided to let the beast loose so to speak. well it didnt come loose at home either. i'm plugged up like nobodys business. it made it all of about 1 inch out and i just couldnt push anymore, my butthole was stretched the furthest its ever been stretched before and i just cant get it out anymore. i pushed so hard that i started seeing spots and got red dots on my cheeks. so now i dont know what to do. I did end up grabbing a little bit of it and pulling it out manually (with tp obviously) but to get more than that inch that was out I'd need to dig around up there. is that safe? is there a way i can accidentally scratch inside of there with my nails trying to get it out? ive been thinking of filing them so theyre more dull, that would probably help. after getting that inch out of there i just pushed the rest of it back up because there was nowhere else for it to go and now im sitting here typing this.
its a very embarrassing situation and i dont know what to do, please help
push harder
Just pretend it's your nemesis's mouth; you really want to shit in his/her mouth for being such a douche.
laxatives?
[editline]20th June 2013[/editline]
prune juice
um
[editline]20th June 2013[/editline]
ok
suck it out like icecream from the bottom of a cornetto
I don't know if laxatives will soften it after it passes the intestines but it's worth a shot
DRINK YOUR PRUNE JUICE
eat lots of berries and drink a few liters of water
If all else fails do what I did and get some magnesium citrate, it's over-the-counter and it's as cheap as a soda, and tastes like sprite. It kicks in within 2 hours too, so be ready.
what a shitty situation
Push hard and fast to the tune of "Stayin' Alive".
Stool softener
Yes you can scratch the inside but it heals pretty quick
Cover your ass in oil, take some laxatives then use a hoover to suck that shit out
[editline]20th June 2013[/editline]
trust me I'm a doctor
Hello Chris
If you don't have any laxatives nearby try drinking some coffee
eat tons of ice cream really fast
Punch yourself in the stomach really hard and hope that the shit comes flying out your ass at the speed of sound
citric magnesium
it's like ipecac, but for your ass
use an industrial vacuum cleaner
Have someone roundhouse kick you in the belly.
A challenge you await
Let us help you put things straight
We, as one, enumerate
That laxies' would be great
[SUB][SUB][SUB]Too much effort for a single post[/SUB][/SUB][/SUB]
If you can't poop for a long period of time see a doctor.
deploy the vacuum
[IMG]http://toolmonger.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/post-stinger.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=christarp;41107598](its pretty good at loosening up normally).[/QUOTE]
Why does this man not have a single gaybow yet?
Seriously try Glycerol Suppositories, give it an hour, you will be sorted, that's a promise.
christarp thread
pour draino into your asshole
works 100% i promise
The amount of people who just fell for a christarp thread :v:
get a fork and stick it in your poop. i wouldnt recommend your nails because thats just gross. with the fork maybe u can maybe break up the poop and make it come out easy peasy. try and scoop it out to if you can good luck :)
get out your roto-rooter and get to work
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