Me and some friends was having a barbecue. We decided to have it on my porch since it is pretty big.
Now! As I came out with the plastic plates and some spices and sat them down on the table, I turned in the spirit
of cooperation and world peace to fetch the cups as well. Here the sunny cheerful day decided to go and have a drink.
Right in front of me hovers the biggest fucking wasp I have ever seen. No it was not a wasp. It was a matchbox with wings.
To the embarrassment of the masculine gender I screamed out in a high pitch voice, stumble backwards in to the grill that faith
according to the general rules of comedy had seen fit to place.
Now I guess the timing was a good thing, because the grill was still soaking up spark liquid and was therefore not on fire unlike
my primordial terror which was now in the driving seat and was having a blast. To the general amusement of the universe, me,
the grill and the coal was suddenly on the porch floor.
At this juncture my brain was generally made up of fear who had manage to make it's self heard above my pride who was making feeble protests.
My embarrassment was calmly sitting in a corner taking notes with a smug smile.
Now they say the development of the temporal lobes is one of evolution's greatest triumphs. Intelligence, reason, advanced problem
solving capabilities and so on. BIG DEAL.
There was nothing reasonable or intelligent about my reaction which was purely guided by the same stuff that compelled our hairy
ancestors to look for a tree when a growl was heard in the bushes. I just know I am going to be the laughing stock of all my friends for a long time.
But to my defence! A wasp of that size have no business occupying the same planet I happen to inhabit. Just saying.
You got any soul ripping encounters with these hell-spawns or other bugs to share?
[IMG]http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/wasp-3.jpg[/IMG]
I found a giant wasp trapped in my room one.
I shot it out of a cannon.
....Actually I don't think it was a wasp, it was orange and literally half the size of your hand. I see them nesting in the roof just outside my window so these fuckers are all over me in the summer.
That's bad but, terrifying? Oooh noo no no... I had one of these hornets (we call them hornets in Australia, it makes them sound scarier I guess) the size of a matchbox chase me across an entire property then proceed to sting me dead center in the back of my neck.
There's nothing worse than sheer extended terror followed by relief followed by sheer terror when you realise you were never getting away anyway... Fuck these creatures.
It's a damn good thing I'm not allergic or a sting in that location could have easily killed me. I'm allergic to some things, like this tiny breed of paper wasp we have. Whenever I play with the dogs outside they come and sting me, and one got me right in the middle of my eyes once - right on the nose, that area. Didn't hurt much but before long by face swelled up until I looked like a damn chinaman.
These creatures do not need to exist.
When I was 8, my grandfather, mom and I were attacked by a huge swarm of wasps after we accidentally stepped on their nests walking down a canal.
I was running like a motherfucker with wasps swarming through my cloths.
I looked like a pepperoni pizza by the end of the night.
Queen Mother wasp on my wall.
Bash it with newspaper.
So relieved it didn't survive the hit.
When I was 11 we had a yellowjacket infestation in our house. One night one snuck in my room and stung me on the lip and ear multiple times. The next day I went down into the basement to play some StarCraft only to discover there are five of them under the keyboard and about 10~ of them in the doorway.
I then slowly left the building and waited for assistance to arrive.
Scariest two weeks of summer ever.
[QUOTE=Sobek-;41069081]I had one of these hornets (we call them hornets in Australia, it makes them sound scarier I guess) the size of a matchbox chase me across an entire property then proceed to sting me dead center in the back of my neck.
There's nothing worse than sheer extended terror followed by relief followed by sheer terror when you realise you were never getting away anyway... Fuck these creatures.[/QUOTE]
There we go. Every time I hear some rainbow prick lecture me about the beauty of nature, I want to smack them between the eyes.
They never had to put up with these kind of things. Wasps are purified evil which exists only to lay waste to the vicinity they currently are rampaging.
I've had the good fortune of never being stung by these monsters, but once there was a massive wasp nest in a pipe on the outside of my house. They somehow found a way from that pipe into our living rooms air ducts and before I knew it my mom and neighbor were in the living room gassing our (now wasp filled) living room and I was locked up in my room with towels filling every major gap in the door.
Over here in Canada, it's too cold for those kind of bugs to appear. All we see is miniature wasps in the summer but they aren't that big.
Fucking Cicadas, they are the worst, loudest ugliest thing ever to be given wings, when I was in Crete there used to be Cicadas covering almost every wooden piller of the place we were staying, it was awful.
Got stung on the back of the neck by a wasp when i was young, not fucking fun...
[QUOTE=HyperVyper;41069089]When I was 8, my grandfather, mom and I were attacked by a huge swarm of wasps after we accidentally stepped on their nests walking down a canal.
I was running like a motherfucker with wasps swarming through my cloths.
I looked like a pepperoni pizza by the end of the night.[/QUOTE]
I feel with you. Wasps are like flying sharks and you are the bleeding victim basking in the water when the frenzy commences.
[editline]17th June 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Xieneus;41069132]When I was 11 we had a yellowjacket infestation in our house. One night one snuck in my room and stung me on the lip and ear multiple times. The next day I went down into the basement to play some StarCraft only to discover there are five of them under the keyboard and about 10~ of them in the doorway.
I then slowly left the building and waited for assistance to arrive.
Scariest two weeks of summer ever.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://evanspestmanagement.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/yellowjacket.jpg[/IMG]
Had to google. This is a Yellowjacket? Glad we don't have those here. Looks evil.
I once shook Susan Boyle's hand.
Never again.
I had a similar encounter not too long ago involving wasps and a barbeque grill.
A week ago, we were cleaning out the shed and found our barbeque grill. We were going to clean it up so we could do some grilling. When I opened it up, I saw a bunch of wasp nests. It looked like they where all abandoned, so I go get a small broom and start sweeping them out. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE. As soon as I started doing that, 20 or so wasps came out and rushed me. I ran like a motherfucker into the house and shut the door and locked it. Sadly, I forgot everybody else was out there too, so they all got stung.
I believe I have a phobia of wasps.
Everytime I hear one or see one I freak out and go in the other direction. It's like they attack for pleasure instead of survival.
There was one time that when I was doing target shooting a hornet buzzed over my head; probably a good thing that I wasn't holding the gun at the time, because hearing insect buzzing noises by my ear just puts me into panic mode.
Of course, it then later turns out that European hornets are actually really chilled out (much more so than the wasps), have stings no worse than yellowjackets, and take a lot of provocation to actually sting. Which made me feel kinda bad about the fact that we smashed it with a folding chair.
In the bathroom, barely bigger than a sink and a toilet, in the middle of the house, and I see a wasp flying around while I'm already in the middle of taking a shit. That was not a fun experience
I got attacked by a swarm of wasps when I was 5 or 6. Absolutely terrifying. Still feel myself uneasy around wasps and bees
I think yellowjackets are pretty cool looking in terms of the color of their exoskeleton
Stepped on a wasp in grass as a kid, got stung right in the toe, had to be carried inside to get it treated
To this day I have a phobia of walking on grass barefoot
I'm very allergic to wasps, so seeing them basically gives me a severe panic attack instantly.
I have no Idea if I'm allergic to wasps or any similar creatures, I kinda doubt it, but I don't want to risk a fucking hospital visit if I happen to be wrong.
One time I picked up a 12 pack box of soda and something stung me. When I threw down the soda box in a fit of anger I saw a huge fucking wasp sitting on my hand. I then proceeded to flail around until it came off. Once it did, I stepped on it to make sure it was dead. Then the store manager asked me to leave.
Something that looked like it belonged in an African jungle flew into my work place one day and I sprinted into the back in front of like 5 customers and refused to work until it was gone
One time back when I had Physical Education, we were on the field playing softball and there was another class adjacent to us playing kick ball.
Normal game, normal everything. Then all of a sudden we heard this buzzing, it wasn't loud but it was still weird to hear it. Then we turn and a fucking bee swarm is passing right through the field where the class playing kick ball was and I with everyone else just stayed still watching and turning our head as the swarm chased two guys trying to get away from it. I was still freaked out that Bee swarms actually happen. First one I saw, it was well coordinated, like trail of little tiny numerous buzzing flying ducks in a ball.
A little time later it passed by the opposite was through our class, but my team was on the infield this time. But I was still pretty fucking scared. I hate bees, they frighten me along with their family. Wasps, bigger wasps, ect.
Actually, I hate most insects, scary ones and ugly ones scare me. :(
A couple of years ago there was a wasps nest in the dirt near the school's playground, some person thought it'd be clever to stick a stick in it :downs:... I got stung twice and so did a few other people
[video=youtube;3zGbibn5xmY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zGbibn5xmY[/video]
Just to ant up the creepy crawling feeling. This is the evolutionary arms race for you.
No matter how docile wasps and bees can be, I fucking hate them.
Those pussy-ass arachnophobes are just being distracted from the real evil in this world. The kind that flies and actually fucking hurts you.
[QUOTE=Rangergxi;41070161]I believe I have a phobia of wasps.
Everytime I hear one or see one I freak out and go in the other direction. It's like they attack for pleasure instead of survival.[/QUOTE]
I have a genuine phobia of all wasps, bees, hornets and the like due to me getting stung at an incredibly young age. To this day, I will run from a bee.
[QUOTE=spartan-9081;41073876]No matter how docile wasps and bees can be, I fucking hate them.
Those pussy-ass arachnophobes are just being distracted from the real evil in this world. The kind that flies and actually fucking hurts you.[/QUOTE]
I hate both spiders and bees. You can't see them coming 90% of the time until they're like one meter away.
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