Revealed: Russia Unprepared to Deal With Space Alien Invasion – Official

[laserguided]

[IMG]http://en.ria.ru/images/18390/17/183901767.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE]KRASNOZNAMENSK (Moscow region), October 2 (RIA Novosti) – A Russian military space official admitted Wednesday that the country will be powerless to act should Earth become the target of an interplanetary incursion.
Sergei Berezhnoy, an aide to the head of the Titov Space Control Center, said that Russian aerospace defense authorities have not been tasked with preparing for the contingency of an alien attack.
“There are enough problems on Earth and in near-Earth space,” Berezhnoy said in response to a reporter’s question.
The planet’s space powers are in any event limited in their scope of action for building up military capabilities beyond the Earth’s confines. Under the terms of the 1976 Outer Space Treaty, to which Russia is a signatory, states cannot place weapons of mass destruction in orbit, although conventional weapons are allowed.[/QUOTE]
[URL="http://en.ria.ru/military_news/20131002/183901709/Russia-Unprepared-to-Deal-With-Space-Alien-Invasion--Official.html"]Source[/URL]

[Awesomecaek]

You think they are joking but one day, aliens will invade, Russia will be the only country actually resisting, and as the rest of the world will be in smoking ruins, they will be like "Wait, did nobody else have a contingency plan for the case of alien invasion?"

[Alrækinn]

When space tourism comes a knockin', Russia tells them to turn off their flash photography.

[Riller]

[QUOTE=Awesomecaek;42444809]You think they are joking but one day, aliens will invade, Russia will be the only country actually resisting, and as the rest of the world will be in smoking ruins, they will be like "Wait, did nobody else have a contingency plan for the case of alien invasion?"[/QUOTE]

Uh, Russia is aparently the only country who's not prepared. I haven't heard of any others. Russia will be fucked, rest of world will live on.

[DaysBefore]

Any nations plan for a full scale hostile alien invasion is basically "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

[Corn]

A plan for alien invasion would be useless anyway. "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy". This is especially true for aliens, since we don't have any idea what weapons the aliens would have, what they're capable of or even what the hell they would look like.

I'm taking this too seriously :v:

[Swilly]

[img]http://c1.neweggimages.com/BizIntell/item/32/205/32-205-065/info_shield.png[/img]

[Cakebatyr]

[QUOTE=Laserbeams;42445007]A plan for alien invasion would be useless anyway. "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy". This is especially true for aliens, since we don't have any idea what weapons the aliens would have, what they're capable of or even what the hell they would look like.

I'm taking this too seriously :v:[/QUOTE]
Perchance they have laser beams? :v:

[CapLaPorte]

[quote] A Russian military space official[/quote]
"Military Space" ranks are a thing? Can I join the space branch of the military?

[ultra_bright]

When they cant defend themselves from fiery space rocks I don't expect them to be slaying alien armies any time soon.

[Alrækinn]

[QUOTE=Swilly;42445034][img]http://c1.neweggimages.com/BizIntell/item/32/205/32-205-065/info_shield.png[/img][/QUOTE]
I doubt the tactical dream team of Will Smith, Don Chindle, Don Cheeto, Don Frito, and Durkle will be able to save Russia

[Shitty Bill]

You don't need a plan. You just need a drunken Randy Quaid looking to prove himself to his family.

[Electrocuter]

[QUOTE=Laserbeams;42445007]A plan for alien invasion would be useless anyway. "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy". This is especially true for aliens, since we don't have any idea what weapons the aliens would have, what they're capable of or even what the hell they would look like.

I'm taking this too seriously :v:[/QUOTE]

Yeah pretty much, the plan is basically to throw everything we got including nuclear, biological and chemical weapons and if that fails then that's it, everyone pack up and hide in a dense forest somewhere, take up a low-tech lifestyle. If we're lucky the aliens aren't here for us but for the planet and will leave us alone if we do the same.

[Comcastic]

We should unite the military forces on the planet for an Earth defense league.

We'd all become bros.

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE]states cannot place weapons of mass destruction in orbit, although conventional weapons are allowed.[/QUOTE]

So you are allowed to, you know, attach a minigun to a satellite and shoot people down below? :v:

(Come on it's a joke)

[MrJazzy]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42446081]So you are allowed to, you know, attach a minigun to a satellite and shoot people down below?[/QUOTE]

No but you're allowed to build super weapons on the moon.

[BrainDeath]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42446081]So you are allowed to, you know, attach a minigun to a satellite and shoot people down below?[/QUOTE]

yes

it wouldn't work though, the bullets would remain in orbit

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=BrainDeath;42446318]yes

it wouldn't work though, the bullets would remain in orbit[/QUOTE]

Unless you add mini rocket propellers on the primer of each bullet :v:

[TheMrFailz]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42446357]Unless you add mini rocket propellers on the primer of each bullet :v:[/QUOTE]

So... Basically a Torgue Minigun?

On the topic of aliens, Maybe we should let them come down and have Earth's zillions of diseases/horrid bacteria,virus's,etc. take care of them seeing as they likely wont have a weapon against that unless it's being a total clean freak.

[EmperorScorpious]

The best defense is a good offense.

I say we invade the rest of the Milky Way.

There's probably oil out there, somewhere anyway.

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=TheMrFailz;42446453]So... Basically a Torgue Minigun?
[/QUOTE]

You get get it to work if you try hard enough

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/EW6JSDS.png[/IMG]

[Bletotum]

[QUOTE=TheMrFailz;42446453]So... Basically a Torgue Minigun?

On the topic of aliens, Maybe we should let them come down and have Earth's zillions of diseases/horrid bacteria,virus's,etc. take care of them seeing as they likely wont have a weapon against that unless it's being a total clean freak.[/QUOTE]

there is no guarantee that alien life would be compatible with our ails

[Dr.Cola]

Russia wouldn't need to worry either way about alien invasions, because we all know aliens can only see America when they invade. :v:

[EmperorScorpious]

[QUOTE=Emperor Scorpious II;42446486]The best defense is a good offense.

I say we invade the rest of the Milky Way.

There's probably oil out there, somewhere anyway.[/QUOTE]

[url=http://www.space.com/4968-titan-oil-earth.html]Well shit, I was right.[/url] :v:

[mutant]

[QUOTE=Dr.Cola;42446687]Russia wouldn't need to worry either way about alien invasions, because we all know aliens can only see America when they invade. :v:[/QUOTE]
Australia's even safer. Every movie where aliens fuck shit up Australia usually doesn't even show on the map.

[EmperorScorpious]

[QUOTE=MuTAnT;42446818]Australia's even safer. Every movie where aliens fuck shit up Australia usually doesn't even show on the map.[/QUOTE]

You ought to read Harry Turtledove's World War/Colonization series.

Australia is like the only country where aliens fully colonize and kick out the humans :v:

[spaceghost]

[QUOTE=Electrocuter;42445841]Yeah pretty much, the plan is basically to throw everything we got including nuclear, biological and chemical weapons and if that fails then that's it, everyone pack up and hide in a dense forest somewhere, take up a low-tech lifestyle. If we're lucky the aliens aren't here for us but for the planet and will leave us alone if we do the same.[/QUOTE]

I would think they wouldn't be dumb enough to expose themselves to biological weapons, much less our atmosphere, they would have no resistance(theoretically) and would fuck themselves over.

[_Kayla_]

[QUOTE=TheMrFailz;42446453]So... Basically a Torgue Minigun?

On the topic of aliens, Maybe we should let them come down and have Earth's zillions of diseases/horrid bacteria,virus's,etc. take care of them seeing as they likely wont have a weapon against that unless it's being a total clean freak.[/QUOTE]

Its called not leaving the war machine window open, every movie alien needs to learn that lesson.

[Swilly]

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9LV9NiPVFU[/media]

Thread music because XCOM.

[Boaraes]

[QUOTE=Electrocuter;42445841]Yeah pretty much, the plan is basically to throw everything we got including nuclear, biological and chemical weapons and if that fails then that's it, everyone pack up and hide in a dense forest somewhere, take up a low-tech lifestyle. If we're lucky the aliens aren't here for us but for the planet and will leave us alone if we do the same.[/QUOTE]

Well if they're advanced enough to get to us this quickly then they're advanced enough to have built defenses against these. They could also just glass us from space, because nuclear weapons don't work in space.