[quote]
As the ground opened up,
It swallowed the earth whole.
Society drank from death's cup,
Fate was now in control.
A single bird had escaped it's hold,
It flew up away into the atmosphere's cold.
Naive, innocent, and bold,
Thought it could reach heaven's gates of gold.
But as it rose through the sky,
Higher and higher, soon it could not fly.
The coal smoke from the past,
Had killed it at last.
Plummiting toward earth's core,
Choked in the plumes of society's waste,
Like a man who had to fight his country's war,
His mind shell-shocked into paste.
[/quote]
I need to make sure this is decent shit. Critiques welcome. Yes it's for English class, but its still creative.
It's good. I really like it.
One part bothered me though. Where you say "society's waste" I feel it is a bit too direct and obvious. Maybe express it though symbolism or imagery.
I think my current english teacher brainwashed me into thinking everything should be imagery though.
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