• Toilet paper sucks and you know it
    211 replies, posted
[img]http://www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50306893/Toilet_Roll_Paper.jpg[/img] You know it sucks. No matter how many times you wipe (even if you use a whole fucking roll and your ass seems clean) there is always some shit hiding in the dark corners of your ass, which can result to booty sweat. Wetting a small part of the paper might have better results, but you risk having paper jammed in there (which will be tough to clean if you have a hairy arse). A solution is taking a shower after wiping yourself (by the way you're a filthy bastard if you just wipe with toilet paper). A short shower will pretty much ensure a clean ass and this is what I used to do. However this results to the whole process taking so much time that you eventually regret taking a dump (as you have to pause your 4-hour TF2 session; you know you're a fucking nerd). Apart from that, you unnecessarily (as it will be shown right after) spend water, so this solution is not eco-friendly. I have tried everything out there and I must tell you that there is only one true solution. Without further adieu, I present to you the ultimate solution to ass-wiping: [b]WIPES[/b] [img]http://www.lakewoodconferences.com/direct/dbimage/50114746/Adult_Wet_Wipes.jpg[/img] [img]http://www.foambidet.com/images/foambidet_wipes1_x7g8.bmp[/img] Don't be afraid to try. Hell, you can even [i]borrow[/i] some baby wipes from your younger brother (or your uncle). [img]http://purebeginnings.co.za/babyproducts/img/wet-wipes.jpg[/img] Wipes are awesome. 3-4 wipes and you are done, no hassle. Bonus a nice smell. Forget toilet-paper, you can only wipe your penis with it and it will still probably tear apart. Don't think of what friends will say if they see baby wipes in your bathroom, let them enjoy their dirtiness and convince them that having a sanitary ass increases your chance of getting a girlfriend (after that watch out for possible wipe-thefts committed by your friends). As a conclusion, wet wipes might be a bit expensive, but they are worth it. You save time, your ass is happy and you are happy. (By the way, I remember garry complaining about toilet paper in his blog. Garry, this is the thread for you.)
Posting in a [I]shitty[/I] thread. [B]Edit:[/B] Why do you think that we used wipes when we were little? It's nothing new.
I think they're called bidets, some french shit; way better. Oh and what's with all these fags caring about the environment?
I dont like wipes becuase of the wet feeling.
A++ thread. Would read again.
Toilet paper is fine for me.
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[QUOTE=Imalegend;15807219]I dont like wipes becuase of the wet feeling.[/QUOTE] flashbacks eh
But they sting. I have tried it all. The best is to make your dog lick it all off.
:butt: Interesting. I'm going to stick with dry paper though, it might be slightlyl less hygienic but i dont want the sensation of having a wet ass.
I use a combination of the two.
They remove shit material at about the same rate for me, they just add wetness. Maybe I'm not doing it right.
What a fucking shit post :v:
Living in Japan makes this easier, practically all modern toilets here have pretty advanced bidet systems with adjustable water pressure, and even movement so that it can wash out your whole ass crack. Then it's just a matter of wiping off the water with some toilet paper to remove the wetness, and you're done.
What about those things french people sit in and it spays their arse with water to clean it.
1. Wipe with wipes 2. Dry with paper 3. ??? 4. PROFIT!!!
[QUOTE=Imalegend;15807219]I dont like wipes becuase of the wet feeling.[/QUOTE] You could just wipe with a normal toilet paper afterwards :D Edit: Ninja'd
What's all this talk about "booty-sweat?" it's called ass-soda, everyone knows that.
ive never met someone dumb enough to say they hate toilet paper
the creepy thing is the fact that we [b]wipe our asses with [i]paper[/i][/b]
I tried it with lemon wipes once. That's right after taking a dump that ripped my sphincter a little. My ass felt like hygienic fire. Never again.
i regularly bleach my ass so i dont get teh shit u dumb asses get
I hate wiping.Some times it takes ages to wipe your ass.
If you don't crumple you're not cool. [editline]06:19PM[/editline] and you like poop on your hands
[img]http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/5065/frogoutii.gif[/img] Listen to the frog OP. Do it.
If you are concerned about the aquatic feeling of your ass, then just put that unused dry stuff to use!
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b3/Bidet_Ego_Kolo.jpg[/img] This is how it's done.
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[QUOTE=MC3craze;15807730]You shove the faucet up your ass and turn the water on? The french are gay....[/QUOTE] Have fun with your fingers on your anus.
I wipe my ass with these [img]http://www.ppws.vt.edu/scott/weed_id/poisonivy8-11b.jpg[/img]
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