Okay I plan on making a movie this summer or later about dinosaurs and it is going to be a gory/violent/comedy
Is this the right forum to post this? or is there somewhere else? I have the introduction written and I will type it up as soon as I can verify that this is the correct forum.
I just want to share and submit my script and you guys can add along your ideas and suggestions. If all goes well. I will credit you guys in the credits. I am very excited and if I could just get a little clarification. That would be great.
Sorry if this is not the right place! I would love some direction!
Oh man, this is gonna be awesome I can't wait to see your gory violent dinosaur comedy!
epic screenplay
are you going to be editing it with the hit non linear editing software apple imovie?
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;41371758]epic screenplay
are you going to be editing it with the hit non linear editing software apple imovie?[/QUOTE]
Yes. I won't be using Windows Movie Maker or iMovie. most likely Sony Vegas, Final Cut Pro, and some other software I rarely touch.
I am an ametueur, I have taken film classes and such and it will be very corny.
So is this the right place for this?
[QUOTE=dolphin;41371777]Yes. I won't be using Windows Movie Maker or iMovie. most likely Sony Vegas, Final Cut Pro, and some other software I rarely touch.
I am an ametueur, I have taken film classes and such and it will be very corny.
So is this the right place for this?[/QUOTE]
Absolutely, also when making your movie be sure to use lens flare. A lot of people nowadays tend to forget about that.
[editline]8th July 2013[/editline]
And up contrast
[U]Okay so here is the script I got for the first 30 sec-1 minute of the movie. I am a little scared to show this but this is all I have right now. I have a vague idea for the next 10 minutes but I want to revise this scene first. Because this will be the grabbing point of the movie. Does it suck? Is it awesome? Do I need to fix this? Do I need to kill myself for this? I need to hear from you guys! [/U]
"[I]Unknown Movie Title[/I]"
Script Draft Part 1
Scene Pulls in from behind shrubbery and exposes long shot of two pals playing in a lake/beach with a ball and crappy beach tunes play on the radio.
The boys happily pass the ball for a few passes when one of the boys kicks the ball with great force. The ball passes the other boy overhead and smacks the radio powering off the radio.
[B]Boy 1[/B]:[I] Oh! Great job you klutz. I'm not getting that! Go FETCH![/I]
Boy 1 sits down in the water and lays back in the water closes his eyes to relax. Boy2 walks by and dunks his pal and continues onto land to go get the ball. He looks around breifly then sees the ball underneath some shrubbery. He starts to head towards the ball with a slow annoyed walk. The camera then shifts to a low deep breathing sound with a view from the forest looking at the beach with the boy in the water and the boy walking to the ball. The camera pushes its way through the forest towards the shrub in which the boy heads.
The camera is now at the boy who kneels down to reach for the ball which lies underneath the shrubs. He struggles to reach it so he lays on his stomach to reach for the ball, he extends his arm as far as it can go. Fingers wiggling a few inches from the ball. Then a loud ominous screech unheard before to the boy's ears emits from the very bush. A large scaly claw grabs his hand. The boy screams then blood sprays on the boy's face and he gets dragged into the bush. The bush wildly shakes while blood simeltaneously sprays from it. The boy in the water sits up and but doesn't budge for he is paralyzed in fear. Camera focuses at the water where the boy stands and the water turns a yellow color and a piece of fecal matter drops from the boy's shorts. The boy sits in his own urine and feces and trembles as his friend gets torn to shreds. An arm rolls out of the bushes covered in blood along with a bloodied penis and testes. The boy in the water finally emits a loud scream which gets cut off by a blackened screen and a blood splatter that covers the screen and the movie title slamming onto the screen with a loud slam and dinosaur screech.
Thus concluding the introduction of the movie.
:suicide:
i cant tell if this is serious or not
[QUOTE=Loriborn;41372243]i cant tell if this is serious or not[/QUOTE]
Dead Serious.
I am serious on the whole making of the film. But the film itself is not.
What will you be using to make your dinosaurs?
you have no idea how to write a script, do you
the director doesn't care that the poop is five inches long
assuming this is actually serious and you intend to appeal to an adult audience with this cringey humor, this is pretty awful
the humor is overly reliant on (poor) toilet humor, which starkly contrasts the baby-language used in the first and only line of dialogue
there is no real sense of humor and the storyline has no sense of direction, and with no direction or real humor, what is the point of the story
[editline]9th July 2013[/editline]
also thats not the format of a script
at all
[QUOTE=dolphin;41372171]
Camera focuses at the water where the boy stands and[B] the water turns a yellow color and a 5 inch piece of fecal matter drops from the boy's shorts[/B]. The boy sits in his own urine and feces and trembles as his friend gets torn to shreds.[/quote]
Uuuuuh
[quote]
An arm rolls out of the bushes covered in blood [B]along with a bloodied penis and testes[/B].[/QUOTE]
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh
[QUOTE=Combat Wombat;41372273]What will you be using to make your dinosaurs?[/QUOTE]
Cardboard, frame wire, stretched latex and papier-mâché.
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;41372275]you have no idea how to write a script, do you
the director doesn't care that the poop is five inches long[/QUOTE]
I really am not too keen on the subject of script writing but I will be the director, there is not much dialogue in this part and I thought it would be more of a descriptive scene. Anyways. That 5 incher was a more of a humorous note.
[QUOTE=Loriborn;41372295]assuming this is actually serious and you intend to appeal to an adult audience with this cringey humor, this is pretty awful
the humor is overly reliant on (poor) toilet humor, which starkly contrasts the baby-language used in the first and only line of dialogue
there is no real sense of humor and the storyline has no sense of direction, and with no direction or real humor, what is the point of the story
[editline]9th July 2013[/editline]
also thats not the format of a script
at all[/QUOTE]
It is not actually serious. It is a jokey movie. Like Slither, Tremors or the Sci-Fi Comedy, Evolution. I wanted to touch my favorite subjects Dinosaurs, horror, violence, comedy. The diologue was "baby language" as you put it because it was a young boy saying it. Story Line hasn't even appeared in the film yet because it is just the introduction. Not even an intro. Like it just happened before the title. You could skip this part of the movie and not even miss out.
Thanks for your feedback though I appreciate it I still am not sure what to improve on. Maybe the actual script writing. But the "potty humor" is not direct. It is supposed to be more of a feature in the film. The story line has not been introduced yet. But again this is not a serious movie. This is a fun silly movie I plan to do to entertain myself and my friends and some folks on the internet. My intentions are not to please "critics" but to make someone laugh and say wtf and be somewhat entertained at the same time. Thank you for feed back though 100% If this is not what you guy's expected. I am deeply sorry. I will finish the movie alone and let you guys look or pick at it when its done.
[QUOTE=dolphin;41372561]
It is not actually serious. It is a jokey movie. Like Slither, Tremors or the Sci-Fi Comedy, Evolution. I wanted to touch my favorite subjects Dinosaurs, horror, violence, comedy.[/QUOTE]
there are a thousand things wrong with all of this and i cant really spend forever explaining this
Slither and Tremors were both widely well received because their casts were so diverse, the effects were relatively enjoyable, even if they bordered on the silly. Their humor was also very intelligent, and not "urine and feces and testes and penis lol." Evolution was also poorly received so I have no idea why you'd want to replicate such a shit movie. The problem your "idea" has is that you're one guy, likely with a budget of less than a hundred dollars, working on the film alone, or with a (small) group of friends that have no experience in acting. That's likely why you're idea is a "B Movie," not because you necessarily [I]want[/I] to make a B movie, but because you don't have the skill to make anything better, and you feel that by trying to make it purposefully bad, you can cover the fact that it's just bad because you're unskilled and ill prepared.
[quote]The diologue was "baby language" as you put it because it was a young boy saying it. Story Line hasn't even appeared in the film yet because it is just the introduction. Not even an intro. Like it just happened before the title. You could skip this part of the movie and not even miss out.[/quote]
When writing a film, you should actually write down and express the general synopsis and plot of the film before even trying to write a script. You seem to be incredibly bad at this structure part, which is even worse since you claim that you've had education through film classes. (no, watching movies online is not a "film class") You have no direction at all, and your writing is not only sloppy, but your diction is conflicting, as you use slang words like "buddy" and "pal" as if you are writing a short story. A script would use cold, easy-to-read language that relayed the basics and dialogue; that's it. You have no plan, no plot, and you seem to think that because it's a small project, you don't have to obey the most basic concepts of film making. Even small Youtube movie makers follow the process of writing up and fleshing out their ideas before writing a script or storyboard, you are just writing down the first things that come to your mind and posting them online so other people give you ideas so you don't have to think or plan ahead.
[quote]Thanks for your feedback though I appreciate it I still am not sure what to improve on. Maybe the actual script writing. But the "potty humor" is not direct. It is supposed to be more of a feature in the film. The story line has not been introduced yet. But again this is not a serious movie. This is a fun silly movie I plan to do to entertain myself and my friends and some folks on the internet. My intentions are not to please "critics" but to make someone laugh and say wtf and be somewhat entertained at the same time. Thank you for feed back though 100% If this is not what you guy's expected. I am deeply sorry. I will finish the movie alone and let you guys look or pick at it when its done.[/quote]
Even B movies have storylines. Before you even [I]think[/I] about touching a script, you need to finalize and plan out the main plot. Give your story motivation, an end goal, a mission, a quest, an enemy, conflicts and so on and so forth. Just because it's a shitty project between friends, doesn't mean you can skip the crucial part of giving depth to the characters and their actions. Even B movies have plot, this has no plot.
The problem is you want to entertain people, and nothing about anything you've stated so far is very funny. It's "haha poop himself," and that's it. That's not comedy, and it's not original. If you want to spend your time doing something, even if it's just for fun to waste time, doesn't mean you can't put in serious effort.
i look forward to watching the 5 minute finishedproduct filmed with an iphone in vertical orientation
[quote]It is not actually serious. It is a jokey movie.
My intentions are not to please "critics" but to make someone laugh and say wtf and be somewhat entertained at the same time.[/quote]
What a fucking cop-out.
"You klutz"
who the fuck seriously says klutz
is that even a real word
[QUOTE=a-cookie;41374647]"You klutz"
who the fuck seriously says klutz
is that even a real word[/QUOTE]
Sounds like something R.L. Stein would write.
Come on guys he hasn't even made it yet and you're ripping him a new asshole.
Make the "movie", see how it goes, but no one is going to help with your script.
[QUOTE=Loriborn;41372887]<huge ass unnecessarily hostile essay on a "movie" that hasn't yet been produced>[/QUOTE]
What do you want a Stephen Spielberg movie?
no really i refuse to watch something that contains the word "klutz" in it
replace it with something family friendly like shithead
[QUOTE=Loriborn;41372887]*criticism*[/QUOTE]
I understand your frustration with his type of people, but damn man, that was unnecessarily harsh. Your post had a lot of good points, yes, but damn man, you don't have to completely destroy a person in the process and tell him that his idea is pointless and shitty and he is a good-for-nothing bumpkin. In any case, OP, take what you can from this guy cause he apparently knows his shit, but don't mind his grumpiness, just make whatever movie you gotta make and learn from your mistakes.
Oh and by the way, this is not a condescending question, but how old are you?
How about you abandon the idea of making a big movie about dinosaurs with terrible humour and make a short movie/video, but with good structure and idea?
I mean it's not like it's bad to make dinosaur movies alone, but I am more then sure you don't have the money or time to make it into anything decent.
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