[b]Two of Malawi's most senior judicial officials are arguing over whether a new bill includes a provision that outlaws breaking wind in public.[/b]
Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote "public decency".
"Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting," he told local radio.
However, he was directly contradicted by Solicitor General Anthony Kamanga, who says the reference to "fouling the air" means pollution.
"How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalising farting in public is beyond me," he said, adding that the prohibition contained in the new law has been in place since 1929.
[b]The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."[/b]
Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting.
"Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio.
He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders.
When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.
This is incredibly stupid.
It's unhealthy to keep fart unreleased for a period of time for starters.
And how are they going to tell who farted, and hypothetically assuming some dickhead called the police because "someone who was close to him" farted, how are they going to prove it?
[QUOTE=Starpluck;27851385]It's unhealthy to keep fart unreleased for a period of time for starters.
And how are they going to tell who farted, and hypothetically assuming some dickhead called the police because "someone who was close to him" farted, how are they going to prove it?[/QUOTE]
They're going to take this little white tissue, and push it against everyone's exposed butt holes.
Who-ever leaves the biggest mark farted.
[QUOTE=Miskav;27851409]They're going to take this little white tissue, and push it against everyone's exposed butt holes.
Who-ever leaves the biggest mark farted.[/QUOTE]
Or didn't wipe their ass last time they shat. I suppose it would crust over though and not stick to the tissue.
He who smelt it, gets tossed into prison.
oh wow. Using time thinking about something this stupid
Good thing I fart with my mouth then :)
This sounds like something out of a South Park episode.
[QUOTE=M2k3;27852009]This sounds like something out of a South Park episode.[/QUOTE]
My thoughts exactly
Law And Order: Flatulence Victims Unit
[QUOTE=SBD;27852052]Law And Order: Flatulence Victims Unit[/QUOTE]
Fart Cops
Maybe public dutch ovens can be banned, but not just farting.
I'll protest this by cropdusting everyone.
[QUOTE=Miskav;27851350]This is incredibly stupid.[/QUOTE]
...yeah... it is...
In one thread, one sentence, four seconds of reading, and 23 words, I have lost [u][i][b]ALL[/b][/i][/u] of the existing confidence that I had, however meager in quantity and generous in leniency, in the one-firm belief that the human race possesses at least [b]SOME[/b] sensibility about it.
It's just not realistic to have hope. :smith:
[QUOTE=Murkrow;27852278]Fart Cops[/QUOTE]
Oh god I get the reference but I can't quite remember it.
I bet this is just an excuse so they can sniff some ass.
Prohibiting bodily functions? Dear God.
lmao poopy farts
[QUOTE=LunchboxOfDoom;27853318]...yeah... it is...
In one thread, one sentence, four seconds of reading, and 23 words, I have lost [u][i][b]ALL[/b][/i][/u] of the existing confidence that I had, however meager in quantity and generous in leniency, in the one-firm belief that the human race possesses at least [b]SOME[/b] sensibility about it.
It's just not realistic to have hope. :smith:[/QUOTE]
You're like one of those stupid people that complain about everything happening in the news without realizing that everything in the news is in there due to sensationalism. you dont care at all about what your fellow humans are doing locally, you care about what people are doing halfway across the world, and the fact that that makes you lose hope in humans, a preposterous thing to begin with, is utterly disgusting. you are a repulsive person, and if anything would ever make me lose hope in humanity, it would be people like you.
I want to rip a big wet one into George Chaponda's mouth.
:ohdear:
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