Medieval Zombies! Archaeologists Find Skeletons With Stones In Mouths and Bashed Skulls - Polidicks

[quote]How did people during the medieval times protect themselves against zombies? They shoved rocks into dead corpses' mouths. No, really. Archaeologists recently uncovered two skeletons dating back to the 700s. Both remains had rocks wedged in their mouths, a custom that was believed to prevent people from coming back from the dead, Chris Read, an archaeologist from the Institute of Technology in Sligo, Ireland, told Discovery News. The skeletons were dug up as part of a large research excavation near Loch Key in Ireland, which has unearthed more than 120 other remains, CBS reports. The ritual was not performed on all dead bodies, only to the ones of people considered to be dangerous, such as "enemies, murderers, rapists ... [or] ordinary people who died suddenly from a strange illness or murder," according to Discovery News. Discover News reports: The mouth was seen as a key part of the body for such a transformation. "It was viewed as the main portal for the soul to leave the body upon death. Sometimes, the soul could come back to the body and re-animate it or else an evil spirit could enter the body through the mouth and bring it back to life," Read said. Medieval folks might have taken measures to prevent their dead from becoming undead, but officials in the 21st century also have a guideline of instructions detailing what to do during a possible zombie apocalypse. In May, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a post on how U.S. residents should prepare for an attack, citing that it's important to "plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won't stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast!" A spokesperson told the Wall Street Journal that the post was simply meant to engage people and was prompted after a communications employee noticed a spike in traffic after zombies were mentioned during a Twitter session. While the revenge of the "walking dead" might be a laughable concern today, it was evidently a real concern in the eighth century, as noted from the two skeletons. For more about the ghoulish excavation discovery, watch the video above.[/quote] [url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/19/zombies-medieval-times-archaeologists-excavation_n_969987.html?1316452580&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009[/url]

Another method was to place really big rocks on people's legs and feet so once they woke up to walk the earth again they wouldn't be able to get out of their grave. A zombie apocalypse in medieval times would be a rather anticlimatic affair.

This is awesome.

Shit makes me wish I had a time machine so instead of guessing what they were for, I'd really like to understand why this was done from a first hand account.

[QUOTE=purvisdavid1;32376119]Shit makes me wish I had a time machine so instead of guessing what they were for, I'd really like to understand why this was done from a first hand account.[/QUOTE] But then what if the zombies stole your time machine and killed Hitler and replaced him with [I][B]zombie Hitler?![/B][/I] He'd be like regular Hitler - except he's slightly more evil!

[QUOTE=Cone;32376164]But then what if the zombies stole your time machine and killed Hitler and replaced him with [I][B]zombie Hitler?![/B][/I] He'd be like regular Hitler - except he's slightly more evil![/QUOTE] Then you'd have the premise to Nazi Zombies.

[QUOTE=purvisdavid1;32376241]Then you'd have the premise to Nazi Zombies.[/QUOTE] But would Japan and Russia still choose to ally with the Nazi Zombies, or would they unite with the Allies towards a mutual enemy? Only one way to find out!

Heh. The Zombie Survival Guide had a recorded attack entry that was oddly like this.

[QUOTE=Kagrs;32376069]Another method was to place really big rocks on people's legs feet so once they woke up to walk the earth again they wouldn't be able to get out of their grave. A zombie apocalypse in medieval times would be a rather anticlimatic affair.[/QUOTE] We could just cremate everybody that dies.

whatabout the nose and the ears and the asscrack

[QUOTE=Aerkhan;32376850]whatabout the nose and the ears and the asscrack[/QUOTE] Knowing people in Medival times, they were all probably filled with iron, like that king who had the poker stuffed up his arse.

Holy shit Medieval Zombies. That's a brilliant idea for a film. "Knight of the Dead".

[QUOTE=Shibbey;32377005]Holy shit Medieval Zombies. That's a brilliant idea for a film. "Knight of the Dead".[/QUOTE] AKA Army of Darkness, but that was an awesome movie anyway so I guess something similar would be cool.

The Irish do lay claim to a lot of "first" things, but now we can genuinely lay claim to the first recorded zombies.

[QUOTE=purvisdavid1;32376119]Shit makes me wish I had a time machine so instead of guessing what they were for, I'd really like to understand why this was done from a first hand account.[/QUOTE] [quote=Article][The mouth] was viewed as the main portal for the soul to leave the body upon death. Sometimes, the soul could come back to the body and re-animate it or else an evil spirit could enter the body through the mouth and bring it back to life.[/quote] That's what it was for. They put the rock there to keep the soul from reentering the body, not to stop zombies from biting people. [editline]19th September 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Hiccuper;32377281]The Irish do lay claim to a lot of "first" things, but now we can genuinely lay claim to the first recorded zombies.[/QUOTE] No, you can't. Does Facepunch ever read any of the news posts besides their headlines?

[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;32377633] No, you can't. Does Facepunch ever read any of the news posts besides their headlines?[/QUOTE] Where exactly?

Why has nobody done this for a game or movie concept? sounds so awesome, like crossbows and swords and shit, no whimpy longrange ratta tatta

Zombies?! Heresy!

[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;32377633]That's what it was for. They put the rock there to keep the soul from reentering the body, not to stop zombies from biting people.[/QUOTE] Yeah I didn't want to hear what a archeologist said on the matter, I meant the actual people from that time, hence time machine.

[QUOTE=purvisdavid1;32376119]Shit makes me wish I had a time machine so instead of guessing what they were for, I'd really like to understand why this was done from a first hand account.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=purvisdavid1;32378665]Yeah I didn't want to hear what a archeologist said on the matter, I meant the actual people from that time, hence time machine.[/QUOTE] you know they don't just pull this shit out their asses right archaeologists study for years obsessively analyzing world cultures and identify patterns going back through time it's not like they're just fucking guessing lmao

[QUOTE=BrickInHead;32379778]you know they don't just pull this shit out their asses right archaeologists study for years obsessively analyzing world cultures and identify patterns going back through time it's not like they're just fucking guessing lmao[/QUOTE] Hurf Durf, never made the assumption that an archeologist was an asshat and maybe made up a bunch of shit? Again, another reason for a time machine, that and maybe what the archeologists study might be misunderstood or completely wrong because of the fact that we just don't %100 know.

[QUOTE=BrickInHead;32379778]you know they don't just pull this shit out their asses right archaeologists study for years obsessively analyzing world cultures and identify patterns going back through time it's not like they're just fucking guessing lmao[/QUOTE] Is it not historians who do that? Archaeology is more concerned with the recovery of artifacts.

[QUOTE=Arachnidus;32376322]Heh. The Zombie Survival Guide had a recorded attack entry that was oddly like this.[/QUOTE] Maybe Max Brooks isn't lying.

Winner ratings? This is horrible. Some people got rocks stuffed to their mouths and their skulls bashed in. And I'm pretty sure they weren't zombies. What the hell was done to them? [QUOTE=purvisdavid1;32376119]I'd really like to understand why this was done from a first hand account.[/QUOTE] Nah you really don't. It's not like you'll find any sensible answer. They just thought like "I shall lodge a boulder inside the thief's mouth! That'll keep the spawn of evil dead forever!" and then "Brilliant! And just enough violent and random for my taste! I approve!"

the skulls bashed in was probably just deterioration over time

ohgodno

[QUOTE=ButtsexV3;32381501]the skulls bashed in was probably just deterioration over time[/QUOTE] Deterioration and blunt force both show up in each of their own unique way. I am fairly sure that these archaeologists know what they are doing and can read the indications of either thing. Also deteriorate like that? Have you ever read into this kind of stuff, ever?

[QUOTE=Kagrs;32382334]Deterioration and blunt force both show up in each of their own unique way. I am fairly sure that these archaeologists know what they are doing and can read the indications of either thing. Also deteriorate like that? Have you ever read into this kind of stuff, ever?[/QUOTE]I'm sorry I'm not particularly well versed in the esoteric field of archaeology.

[QUOTE=ButtsexV3;32382532]I'm sorry I'm not particularly well versed in the esoteric field of archaeology.[/QUOTE] I'm not in any way familiar with archaeology and that struck me as very obvious.

[QUOTE=ButtsexV3;32381501]the skulls bashed in was probably just deterioration over time[/QUOTE] Yeah common deterioration looks just like a giant dent in the skull