If there's one thing I'd like to do, it's tell my story to prevent others from making my mistakes. ~ - General

So i don't know if any of you remember before i got banned - again - i was openly talking about sniffing dilaudid and oxy alot. Well shortly after i got banned again (facepunch depression[jk]) i decided I'd try "shooting up". Why? Well it all started when i had a horrible kidney infection. I was at the hospital and in an extreme amount of pain and the nurse IV'd me 30mg of morphine (~4mg hydromorphone[dilaudid]) and i went from tears to smiles in a matter of seconds. Ever since then, I wanted to try shooting up. 'Just once' I said. Just thinking about how before she could even detach the morphine needle from my IV, i was already in heaven - just dug a hole in my brain. Then randomly while asking people on facebook for hydro's or oxy's (or any downs they could find) i got a number to text. I texted him, he said he had hydro-morphone 18mg's for $45 a piece. I went and met him. During our introduction and whatnot, he told me he slammed the pills and asked if i had ever tried it.. "No," i said "I want to try it some time though..". He says: "Well here is a bag of needles, i'm a diabetic so i get them cheap. don't worry about paying me back", "thanks(i guess), for the needles" and he got out of my car. I went home and hid the needles and didn't want to think about doing it for a while.. but after a few days, i succumbed to 'needle fever' (but didn't know it at the time). After that first hit, that first onset of action, my entire world changed forever. I went from 58% nasal bio-availability to 100% IV bio-availability. I destroyed the drug. Popping or sniffing them would never be the same. I experienced a pleasure too amazing to go back on. Sniffing it? That isn't even shit compared to using a needle. Fuck sniffing it. The next two months i have a 3 day on, 2 day off, 3 day on, etc. binge. It's insane how fast your tolerance and dependency for a drug builds when you start using needles. I went from sniffing 12mg to iv'ing 4mg at a time. to iv'ing 18mg just to get the same effect. I used to only have to SNIFF 12mg and i would be FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS all night. Now i'm slamming 18mg just to feel good/normal again. I don't know what happened. The drugs just took ahold of me, and before i knew it, i was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. restless leg syndrome, insomnia, anxiety, cold sweats, nausea, joint pain.. I finally knew that I was an addict. I was finally addicted to a drug. For real. Not a psychological addiction, not a dependency problem, this was full-blown addiction and my body is beginning to have trouble coping without the drug in my system. After about 3 weeks of off and on use it became every-day use. Pawning my shit off, selling things i liked, anything just to get some money for drugs. And sometimes I had money, but the drugs weren't there. or I didn't have money and i'm being offered amazing deals. It was horrible. I'd never be satisfied. I'd always spend all my money just to feel normal again, healthy. Not dope sick and withdrawaling. Then I moved into my dads. He had 68 oxy 60mg's and he fronted them to me to 'sell'. However I just held onto them and went on an insanely fun and cloudy experience of being high 24/7. At first i was just shooting one oxy 60 a day, then it was two, then it was three, and now... it's none. I have no drugs left, and no money. Now is the time I quit. I'll never be able to use opiates again. not even recreationally. since i started using needles, it's become an addition and a dependency problem. I can't go back to those awesome nights i used to have walking around the park until 4am just stoned out of my mind off of a 12mg pill (that i would sniff). Now it's just a habit that i have to do in order to stay healthy. [i]I wish i never used a needle.[/i] If i could go back in time, i would have never played that game. Using the needle for that first time was the night i sold my soul to the devil. I'll never get it back. Opiates fucked me up good. I took 600mg dxm just to help cope with the withdrawal's. Smoked a little budder, and took 6mg xanax. I'm trying to relax and feel as good as possible as i go through a horrible detox and withdrawal process. I just want to warn others that using needles is like playing russian roulette. You will never be able to go back to previous ROA that you used to enjoy, it will be strictly needles only. If there's one thing I want - it's to prevent atleast one person from doing this to themselves. I started out as an anti-druggy-turned-stoner. Thought i'd never touch e. Ended up doing it. Ditto with cocaine. Then i started doing downers. then i started injecting downers and i ruined my life pretty much. I hope this can atleast turn one potential needle-user away before they fuck themselves up like i did. [editline]24th February 2012[/editline] oh god i just found an oxy 60... but i said i'm quitting.... like holy fuck that one pill would make all my body aches and pains go away...... this is what i've succumbed to [editline]24th February 2012[/editline] i just did half.. just to cope with the withdrawals.. you really have no idea how bad they are until you truly get them.... this is what i've become.

So how are you quitting, just at home or are you gonna go to rehab?

Oh my god, I'm so sorry man. Of all the people who make these types of threads I'd never thought I'd see you making one. I'm glad you're getting better though, good luck with the withdraw, it sounds miserable. I hope you mange to overcome it, I've watched my mom go through withdraw just to start again. Good luck man

My condolences go out to you, Mr. Blazed.

thanks guys. it's really rempting to just shoot this half of an oxy but i know i'm gonna need it for later. And I WANT to quit, so i have to save it until i cant bear it any more. Hopefully this will all be over soon enough [editline]24th February 2012[/editline] i remember reading on bluelight "just the preparation, and the method to get high is addictive in it's own way", which is totally true. I love drawing up my oxy into the needle, sticking it in my vein, and i love when i draw the blood back into the syringe. (I miss my veins alot so it takes a few tries). As soon as the blood draws back into the syringe, i KNOW i'm about to be in paradise. It's so pathetic.

i feel you dog. i feel you.

[QUOTE=zach1193;34846537]So how are you quitting, just at home or are you gonna go to rehab?[/QUOTE] I plan on detoxing at home while being proactive by job searching and keeping my spirits up. Job = money. money = happiness. happiness means i'm living on my own again, out of this shitty home, and free again. The first, second, third and fourth time i withdrawal'd i basically just sat in my room, laid in bed and tried not to cry. Yet - i just got over the longest, strongest binge i've ever done and here i am staying on the bright side of things. I feel alot better about myself.

^The THC does help do a degree. I still got about .3 left of budder so that should get me high about 5-6 more times. Too bad i don't have my torch or blade anymore, so there's no way i can smoke it =[

good luck 2 you thats all i can give :S

Thank you. Having support family-wise, friend-wise and even internet forum-wise is always helpful to hear =]

[QUOTE=Blazed.I.Stay;34850751]I plan on detoxing at home while being proactive by job searching and keeping my spirits up. Job = money. money = happiness. happiness means i'm living on my own again, out of this shitty home, and free again. The first, second, third and fourth time i withdrawal'd i basically just sat in my room, laid in bed and tried not to cry. Yet - i just got over the longest, strongest binge i've ever done and here i am staying on the bright side of things. I feel alot better about myself.[/QUOTE] I bet it's a lot more comfortable at home, I heard rehab is sometimes worse because you're in a strange place. Either way good luck, you're a good poster around here, we don't want to lose a great of this part of the forum

[QUOTE=Blazed.I.Stay;34850828]^The THC does help do a degree. I still got about .3 left of budder so that should get me high about 5-6 more times. Too bad i don't have my torch or blade anymore, so there's no way i can smoke it =[[/QUOTE] If budder is so great why only hot knife it?

[QUOTE=AbysalRush;34851674]If budder is so great why only hot knife it?[/QUOTE] Because it is the most efficient way to smoke it

2 months ago I stopped taking Oxycontin 90mg a day. It started on January 2011, when I found a box of Oxycontin 10mg (it was for my mum, unfortunately...). My mum was on holiday in Spain with my father in law. So I started taking 80mg for the first time and I felt it fucking well (no like tramadol and codeine I have taken before). So then, when school started on September, I took 20mg for a day. Then it was 30mg, then 60mg (30mg the morning and 30mg the afternoon). And the mid-Nevember and I started taking 90mg per day (30mg the morning, 30mg the afternoon and 30mg the night). I had to stop it at the end of December when I reallised that I take too much Oxycodone, and my mum is limited about her prescription... And well, when she stopped her treatment I felt like shit... I lied her when she saw me fucking high on Oxy. Well yeah, I felt very sick and I stayed in my bed all the time (I was very very late at school those days). But I really want to take Oxy again even if it is addictive, it is like my mind doesn't care but I'm conscious it is bad. NB: I'm high on some fucking hash. Fucking Marroco.

Man, thanks for posting this warning. It's good to keep in mind that some drugs are illegal for really good reasons. Good luck with your recovery, all the best.

i think i read your rep,ly. i am on a high dose of dxm at the moment

I hope you can quit fine man, that sucks how it happened bro

That's terrible and I feel for you, honestly.

[QUOTE=Blazed.I.Stay;34850828]^The THC does help do a degree. I still got about .3 left of budder so that should get me high about 5-6 more times. Too bad i don't have my torch or blade anymore, so there's no way i can smoke it =[[/QUOTE] bro, i wish i could just hand over my ounce to you right now. Because you need it more than I. Opiates almost grabbed me but a very good friend of mine had noticed that I've been on the opiates a lot he had sat me down and talked with me about this, he has done the same thing you did plus heroin. He had warned me of the grip these drugs have. after this long talk I decided that he was right and since then I haven't touched them. I wish you the utmost best of luck in your journey to stop this demon in it's tracks.

Although i've tried to be the enemy to you blazed, I to would never wish that kind of stuff on anyone. Im sorry that you have to go through it though, wish you the best in recovery...maybe if you can't take it after so long, consider rehab? I really don't know all that much about rehab honestly, but maybe it could actually do well to help dedicate to quitting and all.

Sorry bro but this is why Ive never touched a needle.. I went through the same throught process of considering trying shooting after IV Demerol at the Dentists for my wisdom teeth removal, but what really got me thinking about it was a couple months after that I got shot up with fentanyl for a stomach scope, alone with some sort of benzo, and opiate+benzo is my DOC, or I guess combo of choice, but anyways, I was so fucking high off that fent... I really considered trying out shooting one of the 60mg ms contins I get, since I have to chew 3 of them to get high now. But, I already know that if I ever ever start shooting up, I wont fucking stop... and unfortunately, I can get heroin any time I want, good white heroin, cheap... honestly, if youre gonna be addicted to an opiate, unless you can get an all you can snort scrip for oxycontin, heroin is the only way to hang.. quite a fun drug indeed... The thing is, I already have a high tolerance as I already said, I used to chew 6-8 60mg mscontins 2-3 at a time over 6-10 hours, 2-3 times a week sometimes, but Ive fucked my stomach over on morphine it seems because 2-3 pills at once gets me sick like it used to take 6. So Ive had the thought "Man, I could get alot higher, alot cheaper, if I just banged these morphs..", but then I always remember, youll turn into a fucking junkie, and itll only be cheap for a few, then I wont be able to get high off anything anymore.. So basically I havent had heroin in about 6 months, often almost went and got a half G or something, but I know I just gotta try to put that bitch behind me, shes in my fucking dreams almost every night still as it is.. So I try to just stick to chewing morphines, pop a few tramadol here and there, and a few methadone. Ive been slowing down on my morphine habit because alot of friends, my girl, and my girls family are tired of seeing me so high Im burning myself nodding out trying to light & smoke a bowl... rediculous shit like that, that I never thought Id let myself stoop to.. I had to slow down because I really dont want everyone I know and like/love looking at me as a pill head..

You got an IV of demerol for your wisdom teeth removal? Lucky bastard.

Weird shit man, this is why I'd rather just stay green. But good luck man, also are you still smokin?

And this shall forever remind me that the only recreational drugs I'll ever need are weed and shrooms (though I'd still love to try LSD).

Use>Abuse

Catching myself going down this path I appreciate threads like these it really puts it all in perspective im sorry about your struggles with addiction just remember that we all believe in you and its NOT impossible, people before you have overcome it and your a fuck lot tougher they then are Best of luck.

atleast you can't die from the withdrawl symptoms

Been so tempted to try IV oxy or dilaudids .. I think I'll avoid that route.

:(

-snip- drunk friends