Fox News Reports: Millions of Grannies Flee U.S. as Death Panels Loom - Polidicks

[img]http://blog.waxmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/old-lady-driving.jpg[/img] [url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/fox-news-reports-millions_b_349906.html[/url] [quote]WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - With the establishment of government-mandated death panels just days away, grandmothers began fleeing the United States in record numbers today, reports Fox News. "I am never one to yell "Fire" in a crowded theater, said Fox News host Glenn Beck. "But run for your lives!" Across the country, slow-moving caravans of 1980s-era Cadillacs with turn signals blinking were making the torturous journey to the Canadian border, their back seats laden with cats, knitting projects, and pictures of grandchildren. Fox News may have set off the mass exodus by warning grannies that if they did not flee quickly enough they would face government-mandated organ harvesting.[/quote] :allears: (p.s. not really)

Hohohoho...

So funny...

At first I was like "What the fuck?", then I read the source and the "not really line". Funny.

Soon, Canada will build a wall on their southern border to stop the incursion.

but then who will bake our cookies?

Why would they go to Canada if they don't like government healthcare?

Good. Less old people, less people to listen to Glenn Beck.

[QUOTE=BricknHead;18320724]but then who will bake our cookies?[/QUOTE] robutts

I'm 112 years old and what is this?

Good, less of Fox News's primary demographic watching :foxnews: all day, thus, Glenn Beck, and the entire Fox News network, just lost a [i]lot[/i] of viewers.

Hahaha... Fleeing a country about to mandate socialized healthcare(or a highly bastardized version of it) to a country that fully supports it already. Brilliant.

They should move to somewhere in Central America. AFAIK, most of those countries don't have government healthcare, and it's warmer than Florida.

If I'm not mistaken, even Glenn Beck said there wouldn't be Death Panels

But he did rape and murder a girl in 1990, so keep that in mind.

I thought most old people couldn't drive..

the fuck

This is just another bailout. With our dead grannies being executed by the government, we will get all the money they stuff in the cat's litterbox and the money from the shoeboxes, which we then will put into the economy. It's simple economics really.

[QUOTE=thisispain;18326713]This is just another bailout. With our dead grannies being executed by the government, we will get all the money they stuff in the cat's litterbox and the money from the shoeboxes, which we then will put into the economy. It's simple economics really.[/QUOTE] Don't forget a booming cremation business!

Oh my God, Glenn Beck must stop this! The prune business and adult diaper manufacturers will go out of business.

[QUOTE=djshox;18326215]But he did rape and murder a girl in 1990, so keep that in mind.[/QUOTE] We arent sure if he did or not, so he [i]CLEARLY[/i] did.

[QUOTE=BricknHead;18320724]but then who will bake our cookies?[/QUOTE] [I][B]Robot[/b][/i] Grannies

What the shit?

They old lady can hardly see

Hehehe, nice.

Every other industrialised nation on Earth has a public healthcare system of some form; they have nowhere to run.

[QUOTE=Emperor Scorpious II;18320597]Soon, Canada will build a wall on their southern border to stop the incursion.[/QUOTE] Which has free health care that the Grannies are running away from. [quote]"I am never one to yell "Fire" in a crowded theater, said Fox News host Glenn Beck.[/quote] [B]HA HA HA HA HA![/B]

In other news, the number of car accidents in northern states skyrockets.