Before school, I lost my shoe. I only have one clog now. I decided I should go into school in some faggy sandals. Now these are some pretty faggy ass sandals. Seriously, I would not use these sandals for food in a crisis.
I was completely ridiculed at school, and now I've earned the titles of "Sandals wanker" and "Faggy-ass sandals nigger" even though I'm not black. I finally got through the rest of the day, and I was walking home with the sun gleaming, the smell of spring in the air.
And then it happened.
I trod in the dog shit; and that pretty girl rode past on her boyfriend. Unfortunately I have now earned the title of "Shitty cockass sandal wanker-coon hybrid monarch". When I got home even my mom and pet lizard laughed at me, and my mum is an eejit.
I went home and fapped/cried myself to sleep. I actually didn't take the sandals off in my tearful masturbation haze and now there is shit, jizz and tears staining the floor and walls.
So I say to you, Facepunch: NEVER LOSE YOUR SHOE. You can get into all kinds of shit.
Yours, IAreLegend A.K.A Shitty cockass sandal wanker-coon hybrid monarch.
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go to oxfam, get free shoes.
Oxfam just laughed at me
Sounds like a terrible school
what a terrible fictional yarn
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