Spanking/Physical punishment of children, is it wrong? - General

There seems to be a very gray area on whether spanking or physical punishment of a child is wrong, I personally believe as long as you are punishing the child for a legitimate reason and not doing more than something that will cause mildly irritating pain for a few minutes then it really is okay. I would like the opinions of the rest of the forum members on this topic, also if this belongs in fast threads instead I kindly ask that a moderator move it. Were you ever punished as a child and how so? Did it make any difference on whether you behaved or acted better? Personally I was spanked as a child AFTER I had done something horrible. This is basically how my punishments worked. 1st time: Stern and strict lecture about how I should not be doing said thing 2nd time: Time out in a corner with my face in the corner for 5 minutes. 3rd time: A swift and gentle ass whipping with a belt where the pain went away in a matter of minutes. and then obviously as I grew up physical punishment was replaced with being grounded and so forth. [B] TL;DR I AM NOT, TALKING ABOUT PHYSICALLY HARMING A CHILD IN A BEATING MANNER. I AM TALKING ABOUT A LIGHT POP ON THE REAR TO GET THE POINT ACROSS.[/B]

Probably will smack my kids, never did me any harm. [editline]8th November 2013[/editline] Fuck belts and slippers though, that's cruel. A swift slap to the leg.

My mom use to hit me with the fly swatter in the back or ass. It definitely made me behave better but more so out of fear than understanding of what I did wrong. It didn't hurt as much though, not as much as when my mom broke my favorite toy cowboy gun and threw it on the ground in front of me since she was annoyed. Fuck.

off topic but I stole your avatar, I was gonna have one exactly like it made in the request thread.

[QUOTE=Zerokateo;42803782]off topic but I stole your avatar, I was gonna have one exactly like it made in the request thread.[/QUOTE] You need a right slapping now.

[QUOTE=Reagy;42803801]You need a right slapping now.[/QUOTE] Well that's not nice. Also back on topic, I don't think my mom ever broke any of my toys. Your mom must have been really pissed.

I don't think parents should do that, it is an old and unnecessary way to punish a child in my opinion. Just stick to grounding and taking games/toys etc. away, or cutting the weekly allowance down. I'm actually somewhat paranoid, that if I ever have kids, I'll lose control and will slap a loud as fuck child. I don't think I could forgive myself for doing something like that, ever.

I don't think I could support hitting children. It basically teaches the child that violence is a completely fine method for dealing with problems. Why not just explain why the behavior is wrong without the hitting and reward good behavior? Its better than taking a violent path that can lead to alot of trauma.

[QUOTE=Rangergxi;42803885]I don't think I could support hitting children. It basically teaches the child that violence is a completely fine method for dealing with problems. Why not just explain why the behavior is wrong without the hitting and reward good behavior? Its better than taking a violent path that can lead to alot of trauma.[/QUOTE] Because some little shits don't learn and keep pushing, I've seen parents who do the whole stop being bad get a treat method and it honestly doesn't work, while I've also seen parents who have a kid causing a right shitstorm in the store and she just sharply snipped the back of his head, it was clearly not even a hard hit but the kid shut up instantly. I was brought up with the whole slap if bad punishment and it worked I guess, I learned quickly what was right and wrong. Now though I get away with all kinds of shit as I'm older. :v: In the end it really all depends on the kid, if you just slap because they are being bad then ehhh it can work but its best to combine it with explanation after.

Depends, really. If my kid's only like two or three, they're not exactly going to understand why they shouldn't be touching a power socket with wet hands. I won't go full blow, though. A swat on the back of the head is as far as I'll go because that's as far as my parents would go. Of course, once they're about four or five-ish, I'll be able to explain to them why they should or shouldn't do something, like run into a busy parkway.

I'm not sure what its called but I used to do the snapping thing with my fingers on my ex's head when she was being really stupid. It's not that violent but it hurt a bit so it got the point across. I could imagine doing that to my children (if i ever decide to get any) and add a serious explanation on what they did wrong and why they shouldn't do whatever they did again. Its not nice to do it but its pretty powerful especially coming from someone who never really hurts anyone. Someone please tell me what that's called.

Most evidence shows that physical punishment is bad in almost all cases, and in my own experiences aggression has never solved anything the way I wanted.

it's a lot easier to criticize parenting when you've never had to do it. [editline]8th November 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Rangergxi;42803885]I don't think I could support hitting children. It basically teaches the child that violence is a completely fine method for dealing with problems. Why not just explain why the behavior is wrong without the hitting and reward good behavior? Its better than taking a violent path that can lead to alot of trauma.[/QUOTE] i don't think physical punishment is usually used immediately, more as a last resort. it can be exasperating trying to get a kid to understand that you're trying to do what's best for them. but abuse and causing severe damage is a different story.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42804549]it's a lot easier to criticize parenting when you've never had to do it. [editline]8th November 2013[/editline] i don't think physical punishment is usually used immediately, more as a last resort. it can be exasperating trying to get a kid to understand that you're trying to do what's best for them. but abuse and causing severe damage is a different story.[/QUOTE] Exactly what I meant.

Some mother in Finland got fined because she was spotted flicking her child's forehead by some soccer mom family worker, dumb as shit. I'm all for small physical punishment, was grown up with them and I will give them to my children in the far future if they do something stupid. Just small flicks and spanks though, because small things are what it's all about. Abuse and beating are an entirely different matter. What's up with modern society shunning stuff like spanking that's been used for thousands of years? Do people really want to grow their children inside a bag of cotton and rainbows with a complete lack of sense of danger?

Just an FYI for everyone, the belt was a swift light smack to my behind. It was not abusive in anyway.

I was going to make a snide remark, but I feel that it's better to just mention that [url=http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm]Authoritative Parenting[/url] is the way to go. [editline]8th November 2013[/editline] You shouldn't ever need to hit your kid.

Sure. I would spank my children with my hand, maybe a light tap with a belt. But I wouldn't go further.

Ah, the old corporal punishment against children argument The place where a bunch of 16 year olds on the internet pretend to know more than psychiatrists

My physical discipline as a child gave me a spanking fetish i do not advocate physical punishment

[QUOTE=Tacosheller;42805242]My physical discipline as a child gave me a spanking fetish i do not advocate physical punishment[/QUOTE] i wouldn't blame a fetish on how you were treated as a child. lots of children are spanked and don't end up with any sort of fetish for it, and spanking in a sexual context is pretty normal. it has very little to do with how your parents treated you. [editline]8th November 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Levithan;42804950]I was going to make a snide remark, but I feel that it's better to just mention that [url=http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm]Authoritative Parenting[/url] is the way to go. [editline]8th November 2013[/editline] You shouldn't ever need to hit your kid.[/QUOTE] saying one way is optimal and doing it are two different things. parents are only human, they eventually succumb to stress just like everyone else does. it's hard to stay perfect and relaxed 100% of the time while raising a kid.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42805309]i wouldn't blame a fetish on how you were treated as a child. lots of children are spanked and don't end up with any sort of fetish for it, and spanking in a sexual context is pretty normal. it has very little to do with how your parents treated you. [editline]8th November 2013[/editline] saying one way is optimal and doing it are two different things. parents are only human, they eventually succumb to stress just like everyone else does. it's hard to stay perfect and relaxed 100% of the time while raising a kid.[/QUOTE] I was making a very bad joke

[QUOTE=Zeke129;42805221]Ah, the old corporal punishment against children argument The place where a bunch of 16 year olds on the internet pretend to know more than psychiatrists[/QUOTE] You make it sound as if somebody is going to keel haul the poor child a light slap upside the head isn't gonna damage anyone

I would ban them.

[QUOTE=Phi230;42805389]You make it sound as if somebody is going to keel haul the poor child a light slap upside the head isn't gonna damage anyone[/QUOTE] hundreds of "light slaps" in the face over the entirety of childhood(especially when they're a fucking toddler) has a massive impact on their problem solving abilities

[QUOTE=Zeke129;42805221]Ah, the old corporal punishment against children argument The place where a bunch of 16 year olds on the internet pretend to know more than psychiatrists[/QUOTE] Break all their toys in front of them and make them pick up the mess.

[QUOTE=Craptasket;42805484]Break all their toys in front of them and make them pick up the mess.[/QUOTE] have twins and murder one the first time the other one fucks up

[QUOTE=Tacosheller;42805503]have twins and murder one the first time the other one fucks up[/QUOTE] No, the twin that fucked up must do the deed.

I love how all these people without children are the best authority on how to raise them, i'm not a father myself but i do believe we need to keep this in mind. [editline]9th November 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=ilikecorn;42805758]Having actually reproduced; sometimes a child will absolutely not listen to you, especially when their 2-4 years old, where they pretty much DGAF, as they don't understand dangers; in such cases, a light pop to the rear or to the hand is usually enough to dissuade my son from doing anything fucking stupid, so far every time we drop him off at a daycare or with my parents/sister, we usually get a compliment on the fact that he's super even tempered, and very attentive/listens very well. That being said, i'm not going to sit there and beat the ever living fuck out of him if he does something stupid, as that's not teaching anything. Punishment is for teaching, not for inflicting damage.[/QUOTE] Thanks for validating my point (in a good way).

Was brought up with physical punishment, helped keep me and my brother in line because we were both little shits as kids. As soon as my mother brought out the wooden spoon was the moment we stopped fucking around, and it worked well. I'd probably do the same if I ever had kids, maybe not as harsh, but a slap on the behind or something similar. Gotta understand it from the perspective of a single parent, which my mother was. It was real hard on her raising us.