• A SWIFT KICK IN THE BALLS - By Adam Wegner
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A SWIFT KICK IN THE BALLS by Adam Wegner Once upon a time there was a very cliché character, his name was Faggot Balls. Faggot balls was the lonesome type, he wandered the school for Wizards And black people pondering his existence and other useless facts. He lived a normal life, before being plunged into the wizarding world he worked as a cotton farmer/ slave driver in eastern Alabama. He had the best slaves and cotton money could buy, but supreme overlord Hitler stopped his income by killing all the juice. The juice were the main supply of Ass-land, and without this necessity the economy plummeted and many were forced to sell their goods. But Faggot Balls remained vigilant and made his money by robbing rich asses and spending the spoils on wine coolers and hookers. After this great economic downturn Hitler made a giant toilet witch shot out money and thus the worlds was saved. But then suddenly, Godzilla attacked Ass-lands capital, rectum vile. The battle was fierce but Faggot balls defeated Godzilla but shooting at his giant lizard nipples. After the massive beast was taken away. Afterwards the economy was saved due to the large surplus of lizard meat and scales. After this great outcome Faggot Balls was awarded the golden boner. This award entitled him to any wish he wants. Being the stupid secular asshole he was, he was he wished for a free year at Wizarding School. And so Hitler got some juice powered helicopters and flew him to pig boils school for wizards and black people. Faggot balls fame was understandably unheard of in the far off islands in Briton lands, so his self esteem suffered immensely, but his prevalent behaviour and single digit IQ shot him past the snide remarks and landed him a part time job as toilet cleaner. After climbing the ranks and being awarded a diploma in wizard shit, Faggot Balls dove in to a great depression when his local anime club and pillow girlfriend deserted him on the fact that he was a cluster fuck of a human being. After Faggot Balls learned of this great misfortune he turned to drinking and mixing large amounts of painkillers and sex toys into a large blender then inserting this into is femoral artery, giving him the best high ever. But after 20 years of all of this shit, Faggot Balls was called to the Grand Superb Doritos headquarters, he was greeted by Hitler and some other political fags. He was then instructed to forward into a large chamber containing only the top figures of the world. Then the cool aid guy told him that a new threat had emerged, the scales and meat were running out and Ass vile’s economy was being decimated. So, after much thought and consideration Faggot Balls decided to shoot diahrea out of his nostrils making every women in 200 kilometres orgasm and die at the same time. Why? Because Race Car. The end. Okay, constructive critisism what did you think?
Very inspirational. Expect [url=http://www.facepunch.com/members/307108-Anthophobian]reward[/url].
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i cried at the pillow girlfriend part TYPICAL WOMEN BETRAYAL
must have sequel
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