Ok, for those of you who don't know I live in rural Tennessee.
Now everything here is wooded, we have tons of forests and all the highways, roads, and interstates are generally bordered at most parts by thick forest. The who place looks pretty much like this:
[img]http://natchez-trace.thefuntimesguide.com/images/blogs/historic-franklin-tennessee-exit.jpg[/img]
Now, one major problem created by these large forests bordering the roads is the wonderfully fucking huge whitetail deer population we have.
[img]http://www.fnal.gov/pub/today/images04/oleynik_whitetail_deer.jpg[/img]
At first glance, most people recognize the deer from Bambi and the first instinct is "Awww, how cute"
What you don't know is their secret...
The deer have been conspiring with terrorists. They patrol the roads at night, hiding in the edge of the forest waiting for vehicles. When an expensive car or a person with no insurance comes down the road, they strike.
These things are fucking suicidal. Instead of running away from vehicles by running back into the woods, they try to outrun the vehicle across the road, and it ends badly much of the time.
I have seen 29 deer along the roads at night in the last 8 trips from my home to work, and seen 2 vehicles hit right in front of me, and almost hit 3 myself. Now you might think, "How much damage could a deer do to a big steel vehicle going 50mph?"
Well the problem is that these fuckers ain't Bambi. A whitetail will average about 300 pounds and they're surprisingly adept at completely fucking up your shit.
[img]http://blog.lib.umn.edu/lund1054/architecture/deer%20car.jpg[/img]
We have a [B]LOW[/B] deer population right now and I'd compare the danger of driving at night here with the danger of driving down the road in Kirkush when I was in Iraq.
Granted that we have a low population at the moment, the deer shouldn't be this active, but they are. They only theory I can come up with is that the deer are in league with Al Qaeda and are performing suicide attacks against the vehicles in the areas.
So I recommend everyone to do their part. Buy a hunting lisence, grab a rifle, and aid in the thinning of the population. I'm personally going out with my .458 WM to dish out some justice when season starts on the 19th, it's serious overkill but these bastards deserve it.
On a more serious note though, if you drive and live anywhere there are deer, keep your lights on bright whenever you aren't meeting cars and keep your eyes open. Another good thing to remember is that if a deer runs out in front of your car, don't turn to the left as they will 90% of the time continue across the road. Only if you see them turn back do you go around to the direction they are going. If they're going to contact the front of the vehicle it is generally better to try and slow down and go behind them, if you swing to the direction they are going even if you miss them they will sometimes hit the side of the vehicle and do serious damage to the body.
Good luck.
If you have a truck, get one of those spiffy snow plow bumper mounts.
Kangaroos do exactly the same thing.
Bambi strikes back.
I hate deer so much they need to be shot more often.
[editline]09:52PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Nori;18979302]Bambi strikes back.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/9298/bambiraaaaaaage.png[/IMG]
Here in Minnesota we shoot the fuck out of deer :clint:
[QUOTE=Uberslug;18979350]use ur horn[/QUOTE]
If you blow the horn either they freeze up and get the, who woulda guessed it, "Deer in the headlights" moment, or if they're on the side of the road they'll take off across in front of you.
fuck 'em up Linelor.
[QUOTE=Linelor;18979444]If you blow the horn either they freeze up and get the, who woulda guessed it, "Deer in the headlights" moment, or if they're on the side of the road they'll take off across in front of you.[/QUOTE]
Install an industrial snowplow on an F350 work truck and wreak havoc
I live in rural upstate NY and we too have the deer probem. I agree everyone should hunt more because the deer population is overcrowded and venison is delicious. In the mean time though drive one of these and when you get home you will look at the grill of the truck and be like "O my I hit another deer"
[img]http://www.mtaofnj.org/mta_events/nam_vets_day_03/Image24.jpg[/img]
M35A2 Deuce and a half
[QUOTE=Umi-hebi;18979461]Install an industrial snowplow on an F350 work truck and wreak havoc[/QUOTE]
holy shit that's a great idea.
i fucking hate deer
Them Bucks...
[img]http://www.w-t-p.com/2005/D04-8491.jpg[/img]
Replace the crappy pointy bits of metal with razor wire.
Be sure to put their meat, etc. to use. No sense in just shooting them and letting everything go to waste.
Whoever rated me dumb is an idiot who apparently likes to waste resources.
My brother bought his car after a deer "blew" it up. he got it for a cheap price, and it got fixed up for free
not as bad as the deer in South Dakota
[QUOTE=jgerm529;18979477]I live in rural upstate NY and we too have the deer probem. I agree everyone should hunt more because the deer population is overcrowded and venison is delicious. In the mean time though drive one of these and when you get home you will look at the grill of the truck and be like "O my I hit another deer"
[img]http://www.mtaofnj.org/mta_events/nam_vets_day_03/Image24.jpg[/img]
M35A2 Deuce and a half[/QUOTE]
About a year ago I saw a semi truck directly behind me hit one square in the grill going 65. Of course it fucked the deer up beyond reason, but it did something like $5000 in damage to the truck and destroyed the radiator and a lot of the more delicate stuff in the front of the engine compartment.
[quote]not as bad as the deer in South Dakota [/quote]
Keep in mind this is low population. We were actually requested to cut back on hunting earlier in the year due to the population being very low. When it's high population I would take IEDs and molotov cocktails on the streets of Iraq over nighttime driving in East Tennessee anyday.
this sounds like it could be an ad for the NRA/ Open Season for deer.
:patriot:
But I agree, the bastards are... well bastards.
Damn deer get hundreds of Minnesotans a year. During hunting season we actually have a quota to meet, for there are 3 deer per Minnesotan.
i hit a deer and the back half exploded it was cool but I got blood on my car
if you hit one, you might as well keep it and eat it. :cheers:
[QUOTE=Linelor;18979550]About a year ago I saw a semi truck directly behind me hit one square in the grill going 65. Of course it fucked the deer up beyond reason, but it did something like $5000 in damage to the truck and destroyed the radiator and a lot of the more delicate stuff in the front of the engine compartment.[/QUOTE]
Back when I was in Canada a MACK truck hit a fully grown bull moose head on.
They had to close the highway temporarily to clean it up.
[QUOTE=OvB;18979589]Back when I was in Canada a MACK truck hit a fully grown bull moose head on.
They had to close the highway temporarily to clean it up.[/QUOTE]
Dear god.
:geno:
[QUOTE=mark6789;18979588]if you hit one, you might as well keep it and eat it. :cheers:[/QUOTE]
You're actually supposed to do that, but keep in mind a lot of people don't do that.
I about got in a fight with a towtruck driver and some stupid fuck who hit a deer because they had these huge floodlights pointing down the highway blinding everyone and left a deer laying in the middle of the road and people we running over it, including me. I ranted at him for a couple minutes and went and drug the deer out of the road. Told him if the lights weren't out by the time I got back to my truck they'd get shot out.
Why the fuck are there so many deer that we can say "Here, go shoot them all for us," yet my goddam venison dog food is so expensive because there's a shortage of deer?
Huh?
Answer me that!
All I want is some cheap dog food!
Wow, never knew they could do so much damage. Better put some heavy duty bull bars on the front of your car. :clint:
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