[b]Our national anthem:[/b]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7AJ3HOnkUs[/media]
[b]Our actual anthem (100% less awesome):[/b]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz_4usW4rvA[/media]
[img]http://images.smh.com.au/2010/09/20/1937960/julia_gillard_420-420x0.jpg[/img]
[b]Julia Gillard, our prime minister with a bad hair day.[/b]
[img]http://gyazo.com/13e03a7edf8209aa963e62e71577ee6a.png[/img]
[b]MisterMooth, our new upcoming prime minister, without a bad hair day[/b]
[release]Australia's Political System is based off of the Westminister system, with a two-party system of Labor (which should be spelt "Labour" instead) and Liberal. Being a part of the British Commonwealth the Queen of England still has power over Australia, an example of her powers being used was when her Australian Representative John Kerr sacked the former-Prime Minister Gough Whitlam from government. In 1901 the numerous colonies of Australia (which are now states, such as New South Wales and Queensland) achieved federation, uniting us under one banner.
The States in Australia compromise of New South Wales, Queensland, the Northern Territory, Western Australia, South Australia, Victoria, Tasmania and the Australian Captial Territory. Despite popular belief, Sydney (which is our largest city and in New South Wales) is NOT the Capital of Australia, Canberra in the ACT is our Capital.
Australia has a small population of around 22 million, and although a majority of us are of British descent, there are lots of other ethnic groups in large numbers such as the Italians, Greeks, Vietnamese and many others, those are just a few examples. During the early 20th century the government introduced the "White Australia" policy, which meant only Anglos and Caucasians were allowed into Australia, others were turned down. This is one of numerous controversies in Australia's history, another being the Stolen Generations incident where many Indigenous children were taken from their families and fostered away during the mid-20th century.
A fact to point out is that there are actually two major, or should I say two government recognised Indigenous groups in Australia, which are the Aborigines and the Torres Strait Islanders. Only in recent decades have the rights of these two groups been recognised.[/release]
Pretty much Australia's the kind of country that's burning all year round while an entire half's getting flooded and/or getting cycloned. What a twist!
We have dingos that can eat babies.
Spiders that can kill men.
Snakes that can kill men.
Dingos that can kill men.
Wombats that can kill men.
Men that can trashtalk men.
[release]
[b] IMPORTANT DROP BEAR INFORMATION[/b]
[img_thumb]http://jasonphoon.com/wp-content/uploads/drop-bear_01.jpg[/img_thumb]
Drop bears are carnivorous, tree-dwelling marsupials found throughout Australia. Their preferred dwelling is eucalyptus trees or gum trees.
They are related to koala bears, though larger and equipped with sharp teeth and razor-like claws. Sometimes people refer to
them as the koala bear's evil twin. Drop bears prefer to feed at night. They wait in trees and then drop down on top of their prey, usually
instantly knocking it unconscious. They will then proceed to devour it. They will quite readily attack creatures larger than themselves, including humans.
The only known way to deter a drop bear is to spread toothpaste or Vegemite behind your ears and on your neck. It also makes sense not to pitch your
tent beneath a tree that contains a drop bear. A good way to find out if a drop bear is in a tree is to lie down beneath the tree and spit upwards. If a
drop bear is sleeping up there, it will wake up and spit back. Australians are known for going to great lengths to make sure that backpacking tourists
are aware of the dangers posed by drop bears. Young children attending camp are also frequently warned of this threat to their safety.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULEQpUY_crc[/media]
Drop bears are smarter than you think, and display some interesting characteristics. One thing for sure is that there are things you can do to avoid the threat of drop bears when visiting Australia. Here are our ten most recommended tips:
- 1. Avoid drop bear prone areas - Check the danger areas and avoid walking under tall trees
- 2. Try to avoid speaking in languages apart from English - A drop bear can detect foreign languages and will target the origin of such sounds
- 3. Use the Aussie Lingo - Words like sheila and crikey will fool your average drop bear
- 4. Smear vegemite on your armpits - We think this one is a bit of a myth, however many swear by it, so if you want to make sure you don't get flattened by a hairy meat sack, then you may want to go to such extremes
- 5. Hop on one leg - This is an interesting one. We thing that the drop bear will mistake you for a Kangaroo and leave you alone if they hear hopping. It is not fool proof but a good one to excersize, especially if you hear the rustling of potential drop bear activity
- 6. Keep Moving - when you move around it is very hard for a bear to follow you up in the trees. If you stay in one place say for a picnic, the drop bear has the chance to edge forward towards you location
- 7. Wear a broad brimmed hat - Wearing a large hat increases the viewable area of your body to a drop bear looking down from above. We have found that large hats tend to scare off some of the less agressive drop bears.
- 8. Sing a song - (preferably Australian - see number 2 and 3) Drop bears are known to be very musical creatures and appreciate a good song.
- 9. Don't declare liberal political views out loud - Drop bears are highly left wing politically and don't like hearing the other side of the story
- 10. Don't act scared - Seriously, drop bears can smell fear a mile off. Be cautious but confident walking around the Australian bush. Don't let them see the terror in your eyes.[/release]
[b]Stimulus package part 1:[/b]
[release]
[b]The Austrayan Bogan[/b]
[img]http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/uploads/westie.jpg[/img]
First let me get this straight. The Austrayan bogan, matey, mate, shitcunt, and/or wanker is a formidable citizen of the harsh, desolate continent that scientists theorize as Austraya. Often seen accompanied by his (Scientists have proven there are no female in the bogan species) dog of choice, more often than not seen travelling to and from their designated 'bottle-os'. Analysts are still in heated arguments what this actually is, but from astute observations, the typical bogan's sense of balance, language, and movement seem impeded after every visit. Otherwise, they are most likely seen sitting on their chosen form of transport, mainly being an ute or a worn down truck, cooling down in their preferred form of liquid, a VeeBee(More likely pronoused Veebi or something similar). Otherwise, they are also widely known for their liking to cook on BBQ burners, affectionately called 'Barbies', and heating up food as sausages and steaks.
The Austrayan bogan also boast a complex language, with a distinct structure usually composed of such words as Fucking oath!, cunt, or other coded words to convey speech to each other.[/release]
[release]
[img]http://media.kotaku.com.au/wp//2010/07/aussies-in-video-games.jpg[/img]
[/release]
[release]
[b]COMMON AOUSTRAYAN FOODS[/b]
[img]http://3.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/78/46/57728576bcb5e710bb96ec1d0d5b2228.jpg[/img]
[/release]
[release]
[b]THE COMMON AOUSTRAYAN BANTER[/b]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6aYuvoInqw[/media]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_artN6ivjs[/media]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKLYQ6w1ps4[/media]
As can be observed, the common Austrayan language is of a humble, simple dialect, where the peaceful thoughts and mannerisms of a typical Austrayan are conveyed in a quiet and reserved manner. It is observable that in such places as roads, this language may become even more fainter and harder to notice, as Austrayans take great care and respect other's actions on such environments as roads.[/release]
[release]
[b]BEST CITY HERE DOWN UNDER?[/b]
Well its clearly Sydney Australia. I believe everyone else agrees, here are what some fine FP users have to say about it:
[QUOTE=MisterMooth;30256608]I approve of Sydney as being the best city. It clearly shits over Adelaide [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=DogGunn;30256600]n3o is indeed correct because his awesome, and Sydney is the best I say.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Rusty100;30256675]I clearly agree with n3o on this one![/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=mr apple;30256699]Best airport Australia has, man I wished I lived there :3:[/QUOTE]
[/release]
[release][b]AUSTRALIAN SLANG! A TO Z[/b]
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1069298-Australian-Slang!-A-to-Z?highlight=[/url][/release]
[release][b]Mr Apple is back.[/b]
[/release]
[b]IMPORTANT LINKS[/b]
[url=http://steamcommunity.com/groups/fpaus] Australian Facepunch Steam Group[/url]
[url=http://tinychat.com/facepunchstraya] FP Australian Tiny Chat Room[/url]
[b] Previous Aussie Threads [/b]
[url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1068986-The-Australia-Thread-v2-Yeah-nah-fuck-ya-cunt] The Australian Thread v2: Yeah nah fuck ya cunt[/url]
[url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1016035-The-Australia-Thread?highlight=] The Australian Thread v1[/url]
[b]Next stimulus package: Austrayan game/technology discussion content[/b]
hallo hallo
I approve of this thread
I also approve of this thread, can't wait to meet up with you guys :-)
Whats going on in here?
Doin der boys
Totally a meet up thread guys. I say Sydney. Seeing how it is clearly the most Awesome city in the world.
[QUOTE=-n3o-;30256660]Totally a meet up thread guys. I say Sydney. Seeing how it is clearly the most Awesome city in the world.[/QUOTE]
u know other moderators and i can read your last thread?
Dad, are you Australia ?
[QUOTE=Rusty100;30256675]u know other moderators and i can read your last thread?[/QUOTE]
you always ruin the fun :-(
[QUOTE=dude2193;30256683]Dad, are you Australia ?[/QUOTE]
yes son we are a family again
Don't forget tinychat, it's not like we ever use it or anything
[url]http://tinychat.com/facepunchstraya[/url]
[QUOTE=Rapist;30256891]¿ǝɹǝɥ uo ƃuıoƃ s,ʇɐɥʍ 'ollǝɥ[/QUOTE]
Lets go ya shit cunt! Come at me BRO!
[QUOTE=Rapist;30256891]¿ǝɹǝɥ uo ƃuıoƃ s,ʇɐɥʍ 'ollǝɥ[/QUOTE]
It's funny because you live in Estonia.
[editline]5th June 2011[/editline]
the arsehole of europe
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1016035-The-Australia-Thread[/url]
[editline]5th June 2011[/editline]
fucking tehe
[QUOTE=Camp er Joe;30256725]Don't forget tinychat, it's not like we ever use it or anything
[url]http://tinychat.com/facepunchstraya[/url][/QUOTE]
not that anyone actually organises it
shitcunt webcam
needs more shoe on head
lole I left you all alone
[editline]5th June 2011[/editline]
mr apple
arc up
you arcing cunt?
[b]If anyone in melbourne is interested, m9 laser tag at crown is $26 for 3 battles, its open from 10am-late and you can book a session if we get at least 12 people, or we can just rock up[/b]
I could probably go.
[QUOTE=hehe;30256921]It's funny because you live in Estonia.
[editline]5th June 2011[/editline]
the arsehole of europe[/QUOTE]
It's so brilliantly boring here.
All there is to do is Sleep, eat shit food, fap, and go to bed.
The jobs dont pay anything.
help.
This thread...
I'm home.
ah good someone new
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