• Requesting final solution (cat problem)
    113 replies, posted
In the last couple of years, a bunch of shady critters have started to mope around my front porch, and gather around my steps for their meals. My mother's taken a liking to these cats, and I'm tired of it. We've got about five cats mooching off our income in cat kibble. I've decided to take a stand against the tyranny of these cats, and take back my front porch. I mean, just look at these little buggers, you can't even get to my front door. [img]http://i34.tinypic.com/elac01.jpg[/img] not just four, [b]FIVE[/b]. [img]http://i35.tinypic.com/sfbdad.jpg[/img] look at this one, you can tell he's up to no good. [img]http://i36.tinypic.com/zulgg0.jpg[/img] So in conclusion facepunch, I come to you today to ask how I can take care of this rather untimely infestation.
Adopt them.
Leave those poor kitties alone.
Spray everything on the front porch with lemon juice. Your mom won't know, only the cats will :3: Though I think it's dumb to try an get rid of cats, because they are awesome. [B] Edit:[/B] Why am I getting funnies? :saddowns:
Tie them together so that they're a furry ball with legs, then, no matter which way they fall they can still walk!
Mothballs, those little buggers hate the smell of them, place a few around the porch discretely and they wont come back.
"Final Solution" usually involves suicide. You sure you want to kill yourself over cute furry animals? --- Call Animal Control center.
Put them into a concentration camp.
Give them shitty foods, will sure let them know that the foods here is shite and go to another home. And if you're feeling cruel, A lighter and a spray can should scare them and burn their hairs a tiny bit : 3, RAWR FLAMES
Gas chambers.
Get a rifle in .22LR. Will get the job done. Nice and quiet. [b]It's a joke idiots.[/b]
[QUOTE=Ergolicious;17889845]Adopt them.[/QUOTE] My mom's already adopted two of them, and I won't allow those cats to take up anymore of my land.
Use the Nazi's idea of a "Final Solution", just replace the Jews with those cats.
[QUOTE=TropicalV2;17889919]My mom's already adopted two of them, and I won't allow those cats to take up anymore of my land.[/QUOTE] But it is not your land it is your mom's
You already answered yourself in the title. Final Solution: Cat edition.
[QUOTE=TH89;17889946]But it is not your land it is your mom's[/QUOTE] That's exactly why we're going to keep this on the lowdown, and my mom [i]isn't[/i] going to find out, eh?
[QUOTE=Bean-O;17889914]Get a rifle in .22LR. Will get the job done. Nice and quiet.[/QUOTE] Birdshot, or ratshot .22?
[QUOTE=TropicalV2;17889985]That's exactly why we're going to keep this on the lowdown, and my mom [i]isn't[/i] going to find out, eh?[/QUOTE] She already knows Pillow talk, you know how it is
[QUOTE=TH89;17890026]She already knows Pillow talk, you know how it is[/QUOTE] Eugh.. :frown:
[QUOTE=Craptasket;17890015]Birdshot, or ratshot .22?[/QUOTE] My previous statement was a joke. Also, they don't make .22 in birdshot.
[QUOTE=Bean-O;17890059]My previous statement was a joke. Also, they don't make .22 in birdshot.[/QUOTE] Yeah they do, I only see Federal brand make them
giv em some of dat food der
Adopt a pack of wolves and let [i]them[/i] mope around the front porch. Not sure how you'll get rid of those though.
[QUOTE=Bean-O;17889914]Get a rifle in .22LR. Will get the job done. Nice and quiet.[/QUOTE] We need an asshole rating.
Well, at least those cats like you. The feral cat that lives outside my house eats the food, socializes with our cats, and will even rub up against your legs, but GOD FORBID you try and pet it. Or, if it doesn't want food or attention, get within a 5 yard radius.
Just let them be. They're fucking adorable.
Do like my mom did with our kitty; chop its head off
Give them to me
put them in the "shower rooms"
Get a laser pointer and trick them into the nearest pond. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20GyC5ysyqU[/media]
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