• U.S. National Guard member fired after using forklift to get his damn candy bar from vending maching
    37 replies, posted
[URL="http://www.armytimes.com/article/20140220/NEWS02/302200007/Guard-member-fired-after-using-forklift-retrieve-Twix-from-vending-machine"]Army Times[/URL] [QUOTE]It’s a familiar tableau: an overpriced vending-machine candy bar dangles on a spiral hook, tantalizingly out of reach and refusing to drop. For most of us, that mini-drama usually ends in defeat. But not for Robert McKevitt of Spirit Lake, whose victory over an uncooperative vending machine ultimately cost him his job. McKevitt, a staff sergeant in the Iowa National Guard, was working the second shift at Polaris Industries’ warehouse in Milford, Iowa, when he decided to break for a snack last fall. He says he deposited $1 in a vending machine, selected a 90-cent Twix bar, and then watched as the candy bar crept forward in its slot, began its descent and was abruptly snagged by a spiral hook that held it suspended in midair. “I was, like, ‘Oh, man,’ ” said McKevitt, 27. “So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn’t do anything.” At first, McKevitt’s frustration took the customary route: He banged the side of the machine. He tried rocking it back and forth. But when that didn’t work, McKevitt walked away and commandeered an 8,000-pound forklift, according to state unemployment compensation records. He reportedly drove up to the vending machine, lifted it 2 feet off the concrete warehouse floor — then let it drop. He allegedly repeated the maneuver at least six times, by which time three candy bars had fallen into the chute for his retrieval.[/QUOTE] a true hero to all us oppressed by those vending machines.
Talk about raising hell over a candy bar. Hopefully he learns and can find employment elsewhere.
Ah; this reminds me of the vending machine heroes at high school. It was immediate suspension if you got on-top of the vending machines; and one of my best friends (the same one who exhaled weed smoke in classrooms to cause uproars) was one of the most valiant in this effort. Every time at lunch hour there would be atleast 1-4 items stuck in those arms of literal damnation, but I remember clearly the day that these 2 hot girls asked him to get their items out of one of the vending machines. He jumped right on the top of that vending machine, looked the security guard driving a golf cart that happened to see him climb ontop right in the eyes, uttered the words "Fuck the police" and dislodged the calories that were stuck with the force of Thor. He was suspended for 8 days
holy shit that's great
[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;43998559]Ah; this reminds me of the vending machine heroes at high school. It was immediate suspension if you got on-top of the vending machines; and one of my best friends (the same one who exhaled weed smoke in classrooms to cause uproars) was one of the most valiant in this effort. Every time at lunch hour there would be atleast 1-4 items stuck in those arms of literal damnation, but I remember clearly the day that these 2 hots girls asked him to get their items out of one of the vending machines. He jumped right on the top of that vending machine, looked the security guard driving a golf cart that happened to see him climb ontop right in the eyes, uttered the words "Fuck the police" and dislodged the calories that were stuck with the force of Thor. He was suspended for 8 days[/QUOTE] That sounds like me, except instead of jumping on the vending machine it was pressing the button combination for the debug menu, and instead of dislodging candy and scream, it was panicking and running away.
Haha what, you'd think he'd use something smaller to make it loose.
When are we going to get candy vending machines that don't suck?
I hope that candy bar was worth it
[QUOTE=racerfan;43998736]I hope that candy bar was worth it[/QUOTE] I bet it tasted like....victory
Imagine if he wasn't trained to use the forklift and decided to put the battery back to charge it without turning on the ventilation. EXPLOSIONS.
Ahh, this story showed up on the radio this morning... radio host was faulting the dude's boss for firing him.
All over $2 spent on candy bars.
Hey, he followed the bit in the Soldier's Creed about never accepting defeat. Can't see how they can fault him for that.
IMO if you dont get the candy you pay for, the machine deserves to get broken into.
[QUOTE=ultra_bright;43999402]IMO if you dont get the candy you pay for, the machine deserves to get broken into.[/QUOTE] Most machines i have seen that are new now move the spiral little by little till it trips the motion sensor at the bottom of the machine.
No one gets between the law and junk food!
I remember this vending machine in high school that always either took peoples money and pretended it never got any, or continually got items stuck in it. One day this one dude got fed up with it and stole a crowbar from the maintenance room and proceeded to rip the roof of the vending machine off. By the time the school staff got around to finding out, the entire top half of the rows of snacks were gone.
the title makes it seem like he was discharged from the national guard for this
In terms of vending machine retrieval methods, he just raised the bar.
A true american hero!
Thank you for your service.
I'd promote the guy
[QUOTE=H4ngman;44000667]I'd promote the guy[/QUOTE] To Chief of Vending.
We had a soft drink vending machine for a year before the school removed it because it was absolutely bollocks, the stupid fucker wouldn't indicate to you if the drink you wanted wasn't available and it always ate your money You couldn't topple the thing either or bang it, because it was shield by this big metal grate thing
[IMG]http://lparchive.org/Grand-Theft-Auto-San-Andreas-(Screenshot)/Update 13/18-gtasa18.jpg[/IMG]
[video=youtube;P4nrOgPqf5U]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4nrOgPqf5U[/video] Thought of this.
There was a vending machine at my old job that whenever anyone picked Dr.Pepper it would get stuck so nothing else would come out. We had a lot of turn over so after about a year and a half, I was part of the senior crew I knew the trick to unstick it, and not being old and really fat, my arms were small enough to reach inside. It pretty much required me going elbow deep inside the vending machine, but I almost always got 2-3 free sodas out of it. :v:
[QUOTE=Strike 86;44001454][IMG]http://lparchive.org/Grand-Theft-Auto-San-Andreas-(Screenshot)/Update 13/18-gtasa18.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] That's a funny stereotype. All the Guardsmen I know are hardcore.
Oh man I just remembered something wonderful. Back in junior year, my friend and I were walking to class after lunch when we spotted our dearly beloved school vending machine, so I decided to buy a Luna bar as usual, BUT THE FUCKER DIDN'T WANT TO COME OUT ITS LITTLE HIDING HOLE. So like any sane high schoolers, we started rocking the vending machine back and forth, it took until the end of the school day to get me my Luna Bar, and right after we stopped shaking the machine, some horrified woman walks out of an office looking like she had just seen the devil's hairy ass, and asks us what was going on, I respond "just buying somthing from the vending machine" and then proceed to run to the bus because i'm a fucking idiot who had just spent four hours of school rocking a vending machine back and forth. The end, i'm sorry for the shit grammar, i'm not sorry for the shit story.
I guess it's time for yet another one of my shitty high school stories, doesn't really involve me though, as all but one of the publicly available vending machines were utter shit (and they moved it around sometimes??? idk why school logic) and would I swear to god eat your money/vend the wrong thing/get stuck, and the good one had a busted corner on the bottom iirc, so we went around looking for it once and we came across someone who 'got scammed' outta money getting in a fight with someone over the shitty crustless pb&j's that CLEARLY got stuck by a tiny sliver with the fucking principal right there to open it in cases like these. They fight, we can't get chips, another food fight, we head to the machine, start inputting money to get chips, a food fight starts right next to us and we have to put money in from around the side of the machine. The kicker was that they were out of all the baked shit, so it wasn't even worth it. Long story short fuck vending machines, they robbed my family dry
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