Worried about your pets after the Rapture? A New Hampshire atheist can help. - Polidicks

[url]http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/10_08/b4167070046047.htm?campaign_id=rss_topStories_msnbc[/url] [release]Many people in the U.S.—perhaps 20 million to 40 million—believe there will be a Second Coming in their lifetimes, followed by the Rapture . In this event, they say, the righteous will be spirited away to a better place while the godless remain on Earth. But what will become of all the pets? Bart Centre, 61, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire, says many people are troubled by this question, and he wants to help. He started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets that promises to rescue and care for animals left behind by the saved. Promoted on the Web as "the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World," the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes—with atheists. Centre has set up a national network of godless humans to carry out the mission. "If you love your pets, I can't understand how you could not consider this," he says. Centre came up with the idea while working on his book, The Atheist Camel Chronicles, written under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump. In it, he says many unkind things about the devout and confesses that "I'm trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income." Whatever motivates Centre, he has tapped into a source of genuine unease. Todd Strandberg, who founded a biblical prophecy Web site called raptureready.com that draws 250,000 unique visitors a month, agrees that Fido and Mittens are doomed. "Pets don't have souls, so they'll remain on Earth. I don't see how they can be taken with you," he says. "A lot of persons are concerned about their pets, but I don't know if they should necessarily trust atheists to take care of them." This paradox poses a challenge for Centre. He must reassure the Rapture crowd that his pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets. Rescuers must sign an affidavit to affirm their disbelief in God—and they must also clear a criminal background check. "We want people who have pets and are animal lovers," Centre says. They also must have the means to rescue and transport the animals in their charge. His network consists of 26 rescuers covering 22 states. "They take this very seriously," Centre says. One of Centre's atheist recruits is Laura, a woman in her 30s who lives near the buckle of the Bible Belt in Oklahoma, and who prefers not to give her last name. She has two dogs of her own and has made a commitment to rescue four dogs and two cats when—if—the time comes. "If it happens, my first thought will be, 'I've got work to do,'" Laura says. "The first thing I'll do is find out where I need to go exactly." The rescuers won't know the precise location of the animals until the Rapture arrives, at which time they will contact Centre for instructions. "I've got to get to [the pets] within a maximum of 18 to 24 hours. We really don't want them to wait more than a day." A day she believes will never come. Centre doesn't think he will ever have to follow through on the service he offers. But he believes in virtuous acts. His Web site directs about $200 a month in proceeds from Google ads to food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire. And to pet owners, he has already delivered something of great value: peace of mind, for just 92 cents a month. "If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen," Centre says, "obviously our rate structure would be much higher." [/release] The people that pay for that service are fucking morons.

[quote]Centre doesn't think he will ever have to follow through on the service he offers. But he believes in virtuous acts.[/quote] I think he believes in cash money.

If you're surrounded by idiotic, gullible religious people, you might as well make money off of them.

But for every moron that pays, they will get money. And lots of it. Isn't it awesome profiting off of morons?

Normally I'm against people taking advantage of other people, but if you believe in the rapture you deserve to get ripped off.

I actually offered to do this for alot of people at school. No one accepted. Also, funfact: the Rapture is never mentioned in the Bible.

This is the best scam ever. [editline]09:50PM[/editline] Why didn't I think of this? [editline]09:51PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Detective P;21153665]I actually offered to do this for alot of people at school. No one accepted. Also, funfact: the Rapture is never mentioned in the Bible.[/QUOTE] Thessalonians 4:15–17 [15] For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. [16] For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: [17] Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

[QUOTE=Mr. Mcguffin;21153655]Normally I'm against people taking advantage of other people, but if you believe in the rapture you deserve to get ripped off.[/QUOTE] Exactly. For example, especially after all the media coverage they've gotten, people who fall for 419 scams deserve it - victims of their own greed.

Matthew 24:36-41 [36] But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. [37] But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. [38] For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, [39] And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. [40] Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left. [41] Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

Where do i sign up to take care of animals?

Why am i not smart enough to think of this?

[QUOTE=Lankist;21153673]This is the best scam ever. [editline]09:50PM[/editline] Why didn't I think of this? [editline]09:51PM[/editline] Thessalonians 4:15–17 [15] For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. [16] For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: [17] Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.[/QUOTE] I see.

This man is a genius.

This is one of the greatest plans every known.

This man is a genius, but not a very moral person.

[QUOTE=Luxo;21154868]This man is a genius, but not a very moral person.[/QUOTE] He's basically offering insurance. Not as immoral as other things.

[QUOTE=PrismatexV8;21154909]He's basically offering insurance. Not as immoral as other things.[/QUOTE] This is true.

I'm hoping to cut a deal with the J-dawg in order to bring my dog up with me to Cloudland. Perhaps some beard styling tips.

When the rapture happens, demons will inhabit the lands and give everything a death that is more painful than Necromorphs killing Issac.

[QUOTE=Luxo;21154868]This man is a genius, but not a very moral person.[/QUOTE] It depends on whether or not he's doing this as a quick-cash scheme or as comfort for stupid people.

[QUOTE=Billiam;21155354]It depends on whether or not he's doing this as a quick-cash scheme or as comfort for stupid people.[/QUOTE] I think he's doing both, honestly. However, he's still giving comfort.

This man is brilliant.

[QUOTE=Luxo;21154868]This man is a genius, but not a very moral person.[/QUOTE] Why have morals if you don't have religion?

[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;21155697]Why have morals if you don't have religion?[/QUOTE] ...because it's basic human decency?

[QUOTE=Lankist;21153706] [41] Two women shall be grinding[/QUOTE] >:3

I wonder how much money he gets from this.

If the rapture actually happens, that man, and all of his new pets, will be killed in every way it is possible to be killed, and some that are not. Over and over. Forever. Never-ending. Until the end of time. 'Til they get dragged to hell of course, where it starts over again.

I have a second coming in store for later today.

[QUOTE=Cidem;21158923]If the rapture actually happens, that man, and all of his new pets, will be killed in every way it is possible to be killed, and some that are not. Over and over. Forever. Never-ending. Until the end of time. 'Til they get dragged to hell of course, where it starts over again.[/QUOTE] Man that's such a generic and un-thought out apocalypse. Why not have something awesome rather than just "oh horrible death of every kind happening forever"

Why won't our pets go to heaven with us? Is religion telling us that we won't get to see our pets that we loved and cared for in our lives?