[quote]Marriages get better after the children grow up and move out, according to a UC Berkeley study that analyzed the marital satisfaction of more than 100 women over 18 years.
The study by three professors from UC Berkeley's department of psychology and Institute of Personality & Social Research questioned the women at the average ages of 43 in 1981, 52 in 1989 and 61 in 1998 and found that marriages grew increasingly better after the kids packed up and left.
"We found that marital satisfaction increased as the women transitioned to an empty nest," said Sara Gorchoff, one of the authors of the study and a doctoral candidate in the psychology department. "It was not that they spent more time with their partners but that they were better enjoying the time they spent with their partners."
Though the women in the study were not named, several other Bay Area mothers shared similar views.
Terry Toczynski, a 55-year-old mother of three, said she noticed an improvement in her marriage when her three children went off to school. They were gone for about a year before one of them temporarily moved back recently.
"In the time they weren't there, we didn't have to focus 100 percent on raising children, and it was definitely better for us," the Berkeley woman said. "We were a couple again, two individuals who chose to live together and be with each other.
Got good at conversations
"At first, it is very quiet, but there is a lot of good in the lack of noise. We got good at having conversations. Our time is about us."
The 123 women in the study were born between 1937 and 1939 and were first questioned for a study on creativity while they were seniors at Mills College in Oakland. Since then, they have participated in numerous studies, including one on the effect of the women's movement.
"We realized what an opportunity we had to study these women over the years," said Gorchoff, who conducted the study with psychology Professors Oliver John and Ravenna Helson.
Though all the women attended college, they chose different career paths and had varying income levels and numbers of children. Their martial status varied as well.
Some changed partners, some didn't. Whatever the case, the study showed that they all reported becoming more satisfied when their children moved away from home.[/quote]
[url=http://articles.sfgate.com/2008-12-04/news/17130631_1_marital-satisfaction-uc-berkeley-marriages]Source[/url]
Can't say I'm surprised. Freakin' kids, man...
This isn't news anyway, who the hell thought up a study as pointless as this?
NEXT UP, A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT. AFTER WEEKS OF STRENUOUS STUDYING AT AN ATOMIC SCALE, WE HAVE MANAGED TO FIND OUT THAT THE LIQUID STATE OF WATER (OR H20) IS WET
Money well spent :downs:
Just another reason to never have kids.
[QUOTE=Acesarge;22162955]Just another reason to never have kids.[/QUOTE]
Amen.
[QUOTE=Offline;22162816]Was this not obvious[/QUOTE]Apparently psychologists used to believe there was actually much trauma after kids left the nest, due to the great "loss" and sense of attachment being severed.
Reading the article shows it's not just a [b]general[/b] marriage - but a marriage AFTER the kids have left.
It's more about how the parents react, really, to their kids leaving.
This is pretty dumb. The only reason marriage as a whole has formed back in the beginning days of civilization, is to provide a stable, safe environment (You know, we call it "family" these days) for raising children.
And while it's true that children most probably cause conflicts between parents, I know because saw it enough that children also create a stronger bond, because then the parents' main goal ideally is to raise their children (At least their instincts tell them so), which goes best with combined efforts. Of course, nowadays it's not necessarily true, because the often taken-to-the-extreme individualism of modern societies made it perfectly acceptable to say "FUCK THAT SHIT" and leave your own child and your partner behind to live however the fuck they want, because you want to live more comfortably. Sadly, responsibilities are often nothing but an avoidable annoyance in the modern way thinking. But is it really the way to go?
Oh and of course marriages get better after the children grow up and leave the house. The feeling of accomplishment for having raised a child successfully greatly contributes to this. Why, would y'all not feel great if you saw your children start their own life successfully, and know it's because you did your shit good?
[QUOTE=The golden;22162859]We seem to have this obsession with spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on stupid useless studies.[/QUOTE]
It seems people don't believe anything unless there is "scientific proof" on it.
You spend roughly 1 million on EACH child from conception to their 18th birthday.
I'd rather buy 4 Ferrari's.
life seems ok for al and peg bundy
[QUOTE=BANNED USER;22166525]You spend roughly 1 million on EACH child from conception to their 18th birthday.
I'd rather buy 4 Ferrari's.[/QUOTE]
You know, children are like a big investment. I mean, carrying your genes and all.
And in the end, at least there will be someone to put a flower on your grave, and always remember you.
I thought it was the bible's law of thumb that you screw after the wedding.
Well once the kids are gone it means the parents can start having wild sex parties, so of course things are going to be more satisfying.
What's the point of getting married?
[QUOTE=Rubs10;22178535]What's the point of getting married?[/QUOTE]
is that really a question worth asking
Apply for those sociological tendencies and you will be able to happily watch how eastern races mostly replace European and American population during your lifespan.
I, for one, don't think this is a bad thing, but I can already see how whiny people gonna get once they become the minority.
Awesome, I don't want kids anyway so it's just great.
That's no big suprise kids are annoying
[QUOTE=CheeseMan;22162876]This isn't news anyway, who the hell thought up a study as pointless as this?
NEXT UP, A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT. AFTER WEEKS OF STRENUOUS STUDYING AT AN ATOMIC SCALE, WE HAVE MANAGED TO FIND OUT THAT THE LIQUID STATE OF WATER (OR H20) IS WET[/QUOTE]
Actually, water can seem non-wet if it is at the exact temperature of the room.
[QUOTE=BANNED USER;22166525]You spend roughly 1 million on EACH child from conception to their 18th birthday.
I'd rather buy 4 Ferrari's.[/QUOTE]
Maybe if you're rich. Most people in America don't spend a Million Dollars on themselves in a lifetime.
Not everyone has kids on purpose.
remember, kids: when your parents divorce, it IS your fault!
[QUOTE=The golden;22162859]We seem to have this obsession with spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on stupid useless studies.[/QUOTE]
lol
conducting scientific tests isn't a waste of money you dolt
[editline]03:20PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=BANNED USER;22166525]You spend roughly 1 million on EACH child from conception to their 18th birthday.[/QUOTE]
source?
i'm pretty sure if i'm married and thirty there's not much left for me to do except have a kid
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