Norwegians - They are more awesome than Ukranians and they are vikings!
153 replies, posted
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d9/Flag_of_Norway.svg/800px-Flag_of_Norway.svg.png[/img]
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f7/Coat_of_Arms_of_Norway.svg/262px-Coat_of_Arms_of_Norway.svg.png[/img]
First of all... Just look at this awesome Coat of Arms... It has a fucking axe and some creature in it.
If you look away from the fact that we have an awesome Coat of Arms.. There is only one word needed to explain why Norway/Norwegians are so cool.
VIKINGS!
Thread music! Viking metal. It's actually about a Scottish mercenary, [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Sinclair_%28mercenary%29"]George Sinclair[/url], who was killed along with many of his men in Norway in 1612.([url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kringen"]Battle of Kringen[/url]) He was hired by the Swede king to fight against the Danes during the [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kalmar_War"]Kalmar War.[/url] Sinclair basically got owned while making his way through Norway to get to Sweden. He got owned by Norwegian badass militia and peasants.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I1geB7U5VI[/media]
The fact that we are vikings pretty much tells you why we are cool. Vikings are basically like pirates, just cooler and more gruesome. They pillaged and raped.(fuck yeah) They conquered many worlds and in fact they discovered America before Columbus. The vikings mainly did their stuff from late 8th to the early 11th century. This age is actually called "The Viking Age". Vikings are so awesome that they even have their own era.
Typical viking. Badass like hell. Just look at him.
[img]http://images.elfwood.com/art/s/a/samu/viking.jpg[/img]
During the Viking age, we traveled to many places far away. As far as to Newfoundland and to Constantinople. All this we did in our awesome Long Boats. They have awesome dragon heads and other fictional creatures on the front. The boats basically look like sea monsters.
Look at this mother fucking boat.
[img]http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn65/karrahunter/CoolPrintVikingShip.jpg[/img]
You might have read that Vikings weren't only Norwegians, but also Swedes and Danes, but that's basically a lie. All vikings were Norwegians, and then they later moved on to become Swedes and Danes. The viking capitol was Norway. Some vikings also moved over to Iceland, so you might say that Icelanders are also as cool as Norwegians, because they have kept most of the old viking language. So they can share the throne of awesomeness with Norway, but we all know that Iceland is broke, so they aren't really that awesome. To be honest, Norway is a good proof that Sweden and Denmark are not as cool as us. (We still love you Danes, but we are more awesome) Norway has been under both Denmark and Sweden in the past, and we shared kings etc etc. These times were bad... We have been our own country since 1905, and since then we have become richer and richer and more awesome. We were also really awesome before the Swedes and Danes stole us. So there is a pattern. When we were vikings and nobody owned us, we were awesome. When the Danes and Swedes had us, we were not really that cool, because they had to much influence on us. But in 1905 when we got our own king and nobody owned us again, we became much more awesome and cool.
So... "Swede and Dane-age" = BAD. "Viking and post 1905 age"=Awesome (minus 1940-1945 when we were occupied by the Nazis and the Swedes were "neutral" again like in WWI.)
Norway is one of, if not, the richest country in the world compared by size and population. We have also been topping the UN's Human Development list for years, lately we have shared the top with Iceland, but I doubt they will be on top next year. The list is basically "Best country for a human to live in". [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_Development_Index[/url]
[img]http://www.imagebee.net/images/763rzwrcpnjqaeasg6.png[/img]
Take a look at this guys. There is not much to say about this than just pure awesomeness. [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nils_Olav"]Nils Olav[/url]
Our main exports consists of mainly oil, fish and black metal.
Biggest oil platform in Norway, and also largest man made structure ever moved.
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b4/Troll_A_Platform.jpg[/img]
Arctic cod. On of the most attractive sushi fishes in Japan. Those Japs can't get enough of it.
[img]http://bhf.no/bilder/helges_torsk_forside.jpg[/img]
(That's over sized. Not normal size. Viking size.)
Black Metal. We have a lot of black metal bands here, and they are well known internationally amongst the black metal enthusiasts.
Satyricon. Norwegian BM band.
[img]http://www.bluescamp.no/satyricon/Satyricon-now800600.jpg[/img]
Some music from them.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQQdsKH3Qt8[/media]
The only downside about Norway (for tourists) are the prices. Oslo (our capitol) has recently been said to be most expensive city in the world. [url]http://www.ubs.com/1/e/media_overview/media_global/releases.html?newsId=170250[/url] For us Norwegians it ain't so bad because we are rich anyways. Our paychecks are phat. Shit jobs like working in a grocery store can give you about 3100 dollars a month on average if you work 5-6 days a week. Maybe more at some stores. The average pay in one year here in Norway is between 55k and 60k dollars.
If this doesn't convince you that we are awesome, then look at the awesome inventions we made!
Here you have the awesome cheese slicer! [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheese_slicer[/url]
It's never been easier to cut cheese!
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6d/Osthyvel_20050723_001.jpg/800px-Osthyvel_20050723_001.jpg[/img]
We also invented the spray can! AWESUM! [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spray_can[/url]
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/af/Aerosol.png/800px-Aerosol.png[/img]
And we also basically invented the ski.
[img]http://www.ski-review.com/images/stories/reviews/dynastar_skis_2007.jpg[/img]
Here's some soft finishing thread music by [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edvard_Grieg"]Edvard Grieg[/url], Norwegian composer.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAbwMGZtIsY[/media]
We also have beautiful nature! And we are known for our fjords. The word fjord is even Norwegian.
[img]http://www.jucinews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/fiorde-de-geiranger.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.adventureus.com/UserPhotos/1800/800/Trip.villageofGeiranger.jpg[/img]
Before you go ahead and rate me dumb or disagree, NOTE THE IRONY AND SARCASM !
>>PARODY THREAD!<< Sorry mods. It had to be done. I am tired of these kinds of threads now.
Nice parody thread. You get a funny.
Vikings didn't actually have horns on the helmets!, did you know that!?
[QUOTE=firstblood;16979828]Vikings didn't actually have horns on the helmets!, did you know that?![/QUOTE]
Except if you're a SPACE VIKING
[img]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Dunechaser/Random/space.viking.1.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=kankershow;16979832]Except if you're a SPACE VIKING
[img]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Dunechaser/Random/space.viking.1.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
Ah damn.
My dog is a Norwegian Elk Hound, he's so cool.
We danes owned Norway for 500 years and we were vikings before you!
We can go to war on who was vikings first :P
English, Danish and Swedish people are better.
And that space viking, fuck that shit, the Danish fucking MADE the lego, so, screw that.
Why did you use Satyricon as an example of awesome Norwegian Black metal? They suck!
Norway is amazing. Would love to live there.
The fact that a thread was needed to describe the so-called awesomeness of Norway just shows how not-awesome it is.
It's pretty awesome here. And we discovered AMERICA!
[QUOTE=Patjo_sweden;16980013]Why did you use Satyricon as an example of awesome Norwegian Black metal? They suck![/QUOTE]
Because they are probably the only BM band that in Norway that some common Norwegian guy would be able to recognize the name of. (A common guy who does not listen to black metal or any metal for that matter)
[QUOTE=Beafman;16979990]We danes owned Norway for 500 years and we were vikings before you!
We can go to war on who was vikings first :P[/QUOTE]
I was just going to say this.
Danes > Norwegians when it comes to vikingness.
[QUOTE=hamp;16980069]The fact that a thread was needed to describe the so-called awesomeness of Norway just shows how not-awesome it is.[/QUOTE]
The fact that you don't get that this is a parody thread earns you a dumb rating.
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=800974[/url]
I hope OP is not norwegian as he doesn't even know the "creature" is a lion.
[QUOTE=Nick Lomax;16980108]The fact that you don't get that this is a parody thread earns you a dumb rating.
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=800974[/url][/QUOTE]
Well, it means that I don't browse these forums anymore, not that I'm dumb.
[img_thumb]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f7/Coat_of_Arms_of_Norway.svg/262px-Coat_of_Arms_of_Norway.svg.png[/img_thumb]
How's that awesome? It looks rather generic
I might have some Viking blood in me somewhere. I come from the North-East of England, so theres a chance?
Well, English people were vikings aswell, if i'm not completely wrong.
There might've been some cool bearded dudes living where you are now a long ass time ago, but right now it's just you behind a computer screen like the rest of us, and that isn't cool.
[QUOTE=jjsullivan;16981702][img_thumb]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f7/Coat_of_Arms_of_Norway.svg/262px-Coat_of_Arms_of_Norway.svg.png[/img_thumb]
How's that awesome? It looks rather generic[/QUOTE]
It's a lion with a VIKING AXE and something that RESEMBLES A MOUSTACHE, how is that generic?
Norway has become such a wuss contry lately.
Too fucking bad England stole the whole viking fleet then you all got owned, how the hell do you manage your fleet getting stolen. :cawg:
[QUOTE=Nick Lomax;16979796] Some vikings also moved over to Iceland, so you might say that Icelanders are also as cool as Norwegians, because they have kept most of the old viking language. So they can share the throne of awesomeness with Norway, but we all know that Iceland is broke, so they aren't really that awesome.[/QUOTE]
Us being broke is a return to normality really.
[QUOTE=Beafman;16979990]We danes owned Norway for 500 years and we were vikings before you!
We can go to war on who was vikings first :P[/QUOTE]
We Swedes fucking ruled half of europe back in the days
EDIT
What the hell am I saying, I meant scandinavia.
[QUOTE=BuddieBBB;16982186]We Swedes fucking ruled half of europe back in the days[/QUOTE]
Guess what, you never had history lessons, now have a box, use it to pack in your stuff and get the hell out of here.
Did you know cities in England ending with "-by" was founded by Vikings?
Now you do.
[QUOTE=ole johan;16982146]It's a lion with a VIKING AXE and something that RESEMBLES A MOUSTACHE, how is that generic?
Norway has become such a wuss contry lately.[/QUOTE]
Well it IS somewhat generic. Many european coats of arms had either lions or eagles on them. The axe is something rather special though. Even Ukraine has a lion on it :P
anyhow this is what a coat of arms is supposed to look like:
[url]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/62/Coat_of_Arms_of_Norway_(1924).svg[/url]
But obviously it's made out of gold and shit.
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