:siren:[b]QUITE A BIT OF FRICKIN SPOILERS[/b]:siren:
[img]http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/105/1054734/clash-of-the-titans-2010-20091211065924947_640w.jpg[/img]
[b]
Clash of the Titans is a 2010 fantasy film which is a remake of the 1981 film of the same name, itself loosely based on the Greek myth of Perseus. Directed by Louis Leterrier and starring Sam Worthington, the film was originally set for standard release on March 26, 2010. It was later announced that the film would be converted to 3-D and was released on April 2, 2010.[/b]
[b]Personal Review/ TL;DR Review[/b] (few spoilers here)
I loved this movie. I've always had a soft spot for ancient Greek mythology (who hasn't?), and this movie made that spot start headbanging. The action scenes appealed to my sense of "dang that was a nice kill"-ness, and the battles made me feel awesome. Sure, there were parts that left me wanting more, but in my opinion the badassery outweighed it.
As a movie, though, many many things wrong with this film. They used deus ex machina a few times, but other than that they mostly used what was there. Almost all of the characters were introduced within the first 30 minutes, [sp]along with the first 2 "terrifying" Hades attacks[/sp]. Several things pissed me off about the movie. If you want to know what these are, read below.
[b]Long Review[/b] (lots of spoilers here, don't read if you want to watch the film)
Well, this isn't at all what I was expecting out of the movie. It wasn't accurate with the legend of Perseus, or with ancient Greek society. Of course, it is a fantasy movie, but a little accuracy is good.
[i]Plot[/i]
The beginning tells the story of the gods and titans, and how Hades created the Kraken to defeat the titans. It then tells of the creation of Man, and shows Perseus' new father finding him adrift on the ocean in a coffin with his dead mother. It skips forward several years, showing the family in a cave-like location, with Perseus clutching his chest as a storm grows close (which totally doesn't tie him to Zeus at all). Twelve years later, and Perseus has a new sister. The boat grows closer to the statue of Zeus, which is being overturned by soldiers. The statue falls, and Hades sends minions after the soldiers. Then, Hades destroys their ship, killing his family.
Next, Perseus is in Argos, with the soldiers who overturned Zeus' statue. The king and queen of Argos are trash talking the gods, which sure enough, pisses Hades off again and he kills the queen, then is all like "Yo, Percy, you the son of Zeus, dawg. Got ten days to kill Princess Andromeda, or the Kraken gonna own yo' bitch ass." And then Perseus is all like "No, I gon' own dat Kraken punk."
[img]http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/still/clash_of_the_titans21.jpg[/img][b]"Gon' die, ho."[/b]
Perceus then gets the soldiers who pissed off his father to help him on his quest to defeat the Kraken, after talking to Io (hot). Of course, no one knows how to beat it, but that doesn't stop them on their quest to basically get all killed off.
Hades, now with permission from Zeus to pimp-slap the world, takes the king (whose wife Zeus knocked up and gave birth to Perseus inside a coffin) who already has a hatred of Zeus for screwing his wife, and gives him his power of fire-breath, and mutates him into a Predator-esque warrior.
Perseus' convoy continues on, after having a camp-out where Perseus fights with this one dude, finds an awesome sword and the Pegasus, only to [i]not[/i] use them (which pisses me off), until they encounter the mutated Acrisius who tries to kill Perseus. He bites a chunk out of Perseus' arm, and they cut his hand off [sp]where Perseus declares that he is Acrisius' father[/sp], and Acrisius runs. They follow the blood trail, while his hand begins to morph into the giant scorpion that they would later overuse for marketing. They lose Acrisius when the Scorpion attacks, and somehow becomes three scorpions.
[img]http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2009/11/11/clash-of-the-titans-teaser.jpg[/img][b]"You'll never guess what I do with this hand."[/b]
After a big battle, they killed two scorpions, and the third killed itself. They're all like "Yeah, but we lost a crapload of dudes." Three more scorpions, twice the size of the others come up, and they get ready for battle when [b]deus ex machina![/b] the Djinn stop the scorpions and save the remaining. Perseus, dying from the bite of Acrisius, is healed by one of the Djinn. Several of the group still don't trust them, though, which causes many problems. The Djinn tame the Scorpions, and uses them as a convoy to transport them and their supplies. They travel to the Stygian Witches to find how stop the Kraken.
The dudes at Argos are getting pissed, and form some kind of "Cult of Hades", bent on killing Andromeda.
The Witches, however, are ugly. Oh, and they wanna kill one of the dudes before they give the answer. Perseus steals their eye, which they share between the three of them, and they give him the answer, which is using Medusa's head to turn the Kraken to stone. He tosses the eye by the fire, and begins to leave, when they tell him that they're all gonna die and crap. The group leaves. Zeus confronts Perseus, and gives him a golden drachma to get into the underworld.
Once there, they travel to Medusa's temple. Long story short, everyone that goes in dies except Perseus, who gets Medusa's head and goes back out to Io. She's all like "Yay!" but then she gets stabbed by Acrisius, who just loves killing hot chicks. They battle, and Perseus uses his awesome sword that he didn't want to use, and kills him, returning him to human form before he dies. Io then dies, and goes to Olympus because of her demigod-ness.
Perseus travels to Argos, as Andromeda is hung over the cliff and the Kraken rises. Perseus gets ready to kill the Kraken, but Hades shows up and sends his flying monkeys after him. One of the monkeys steals the head, and we have a big chase scene for him to get it back. He gets it, and kills the Kraken right as it tries to eat Andromeda. Hades appears, and Perseus' sword is struck with lightning. He hurls it at Hades, sending him back to the underworld.
[img]http://moviecultists.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/clash-of-the-titans-kraken-575x328.jpg[/img][b]"But I barely got to kill [i]anybody!![/i]"[/b]
Perseus goes back to the destroyed statue of Zeus, when his father visits him. Perseus refuses to become a god, and Zeus allows Io to come back to him. They embrace, and the Pegasus flies over.
[i]Complaints[/i]
Pretty much everyone was killed off.
They jumped into the story directly, and nothing was left to find out later.
The story wasn't as accurate to the original legend as I had hoped.
There was many instances of humor. This shouldn't be a humorous movie.
Perseus [i]wouldn't use the sword[/i]
And why exactly was Zeus so damned shiny?! No shiny Liam Neeson! This isn't Twilight!
[img]http://www.boingboing.net/images/zeus1.jpg[/img]
Many more that I can't think of at the moment.
[B][I][U]Overall, I give this movie a [/U][/I]50/100.[/B]
Thank you for your time.
The only review bit you had was your first line and "I give this movie.."
The rest of it was a long ass plot diagnosis
You forgot to mention that you should save your money and go see it at a regular theater because the 3D fucking sucks.
[QUOTE=The_Marine;21150074]You forgot to mention that you should save your money and go see it at a regular theater because the 3D fucking sucks.[/QUOTE]
Well, I didn't see it 3D, so I wouldn't know.
you say you loved the movie, but you gave it a 5/10. that makes no sense!
My friend said it was pretty bad, and that the 3D was even worse.
I quote; "You may as well go see it in 2D and put a clear bowl over your head to see it in 3D."
[QUOTE=Xenomoose;21150739]you say you loved the movie, but you gave it a 5/10. that makes no sense![/QUOTE]
I liked the action because I'm a mythology freak. The screenplay wasn't too good. I said that.
what i got from this review is that its just a naff action film in 3d :/
The movie was so shallow you pretty much told the entire plot in 5 minutes. I didn't feel much for the characters at all seeing as it's like "Hey we're going to let you kinda of like them! Oops they're dead!" Then the Kraken fight was boring, he was just flying around on the Pegasus then we just got so see some cool special effects and the movie was over. Personally I give it a 30/100.
I liked the guy with the blue eyes.
It wasn't great, and it was anticlimatic. It promised some ridiculously awesome fight and then the final fight was over as quickly as it started, let down.
[QUOTE=KillerTV;21153255]It wasn't great, and it was anticlimatic. It promised some ridiculously awesome fight and then the final fight was over as quickly as it started, let down.[/QUOTE]
Exactly. All the final fight was was him chasing that flying monkey.
I heard this movie was worse than the original because of bad directing and bad CGI. Also the 3D in this movie was converted so it looks terrible.
it was alright, great action, everything else was sub-par
I loved the movie personally.
It was alright. I had no interest in it at all by the trailers but me and my friends decided to hang out in the theater and see it anyways. It was better than I expected but the movie was still pretty basic. The plot was pretty straightforward and some of the action scenes were decent but I've seen better.
holy fuk
qui gon jinn
I watched a scene or two comfortably without my 3d glasses on, they really didn't do much with the 3d.
I watched it. It was entertaining. I thought it was good. Would it be a film that I would watch again? Probably not. Nothing really was amazing or redeeming about it. But it was a great way to kill time in an otherwise uninteresting afternoon.
[quote]I loved this movie...Overall, I give this movie a 50/100.[/quote]
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/cecilb6/mojo.jpg[/IMG]
Come again?
[QUOTE=cecilbdemodded;21157246][IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/cecilb6/mojo.jpg[/IMG]
Come again?[/QUOTE]
The pun, I'm not seeing it.
So according to your review this remake is nothing like the original at all? And by the sounds of it, sucks. I doubt I'll watch it now.
Anybody who has seen it has hated it in 3D.
Loved it in 2D.
[QUOTE=Jurikuer;21157518]So according to your review this remake is nothing like the original at all? And by the sounds of it, sucks. I doubt I'll watch it now.[/QUOTE]
Not really like the original. But at one point they did get that mechanical owl in there in a supply box. Perseus picked it up and asked, "What's this?", and one of the guys says, "Just leave it. . . ."
I like the original way better.
[QUOTE=DudeGuyKT;21167539]Not really like the original. But at one point they did get that mechanical owl in there in a supply box. Perseus picked it up and asked, "What's this?", and one of the guys says, "Just leave it. . . ."[/QUOTE]
Was it in the original or something? One of my friends recognized it and whispered something to me (I couldn't make out what it was) about it. So apparently he's seen the original. I've never seen the original so I have no clue.
I had this feeling the entire time watching it that pretty much every scene sounds like it could have been written by a 12-year-old who watches lots of action movies.
So Perseus is in the woods with the soldier guys, and he walks away a little and he finds this metal thing on the ground, and when he picks it up it turns into a really badass sword! But then he says he doesn't want it because it came from gods and Perseus hates gods so he gives it to the soldier leader but when he grabs it it turns back into a regular piece of metal because it only works for Perseus.
Then he walks away from the other soldier guys again because he sees a pegasus. Io tells him no man has ever ridden one before. Then a really BIG black pegasus comes in that's way cooler than all the others and it scares the others away and this is the one Perseus is going to get to ride because it's the coolest one, just like how the guy in Avatar rode the biggest dragon thing because he's the only one badass enough to do it.
There's nothing particularly mind-blowing or innovative about the movie, and of course they basically imply that Zeus = God, Hades = Satan, and Hades' realm = hell... Like movies and games ALWAYS do...
[QUOTE=Demache;21174780]Was it in the original or something? One of my friends recognized it and whispered something to me (I couldn't make out what it was) about it. So apparently he's seen the original. I've never seen the original so I have no clue.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, instead of Io guiding them, in the original they were led by a small mechanical owl that clicked and hooted, and only Perseus could understand it. I watched it with my dad a few months ago.
The original was full of awesome. I'll definitely go see this remake just for the sake of it but by the sounds of it I'll not bother with the 3D. Also, no little mechanical owl? What were they thinking? Crazy fools!
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;21156326]holy fuk
qui gon jinn[/QUOTE]
Liam Neeson is a badass, he makes any movie he's in better.
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