Are you unsuccessful in school? In love? Are you fat? Do you stay on the internet until 4 o clock in the morning? This is because you are a fucking idiot. BUT, with these tips you can fall out of your idiotarian ways and pick your goddamn nuts up.
WEIGHT
Losing weight is easy as getting up from that Xbox 30 minutes a day stand in a wide space in your room (if comfortable around your family you can use the living room). Do some lunges, some situps, some squats, or whatever. You have the internet so its just that easy to find workouts. 30 mins to an hour a day and you'll be shedding weight like an animal.
Learn nutrition, it's an amazing way to lose weight and feel AND look healthy. Run when you can, hit those pushups.
Mens Health magazine is a VERY good investment, they have some lifechanging tips in there.
Self-Esteem
Many users are afraid of things in life like for example talking to the opposite sex. If you are heres a challenge for you, the next time you are in public and a girl strikes your "nerve" instead of feeling shaky until the opportunity has passed, approach her, ask for her name, or number, birth sigh or whatever just have courage to convey your message. Look her in the eyes as you speak, and if she rejects you... see how much you really don't care afterwards. Getting rejected is easy to forget, but the feeling of being successful lasts a long time.
SOCIAL LIFE
This isn't the Sims if you don't have one you honestly aren't missing much.
MONEY
Work hard, save your money. That's your lifestyle, getting caught up in satisfaction like spending half a weeks worth of profit on weed and vidya game. Buying your girlfriend fancy invader zim sweaters or something. Save it, learn how to create wealth... start a business employ yourself as the boss. Have financial focus without the need of help from anyone!
SLEEP
Sleep is very important. Make sure you get your 7 hours every night with as less light as you can stand. If you wake up in the middle of the night to piss, don't turn the light on and piss in the dark.
TIME
You have a load of it. It may not seem like it but you are letting precious hours by that you can be using to make money, do homework, or make love to a wonderful lady. But we let the internet cloud this perception and we waste hours and ours bullshitting. Do you REALLY need to be up at 4 in the morning watching funny videos of cats or laughing babies or what the fuck else. No. No you do not.
If you are a warcraft fanatic I feel sorry for you idk how you do it.
OPTIONAL
Smoke weed errday
This is my second mini tut for your everyday life, I followed it after making the first one
[url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1048932&highlight=[/url]
In that point of my life I was like 230 pounds, a normal flat broke teen, but man I was never so happy in my life, I mas making shit happen for myself.
Now I've lost a ton of weight and have a natural charisma. [i]Havin sex with hot women.[/i] Working hard chasing my dreams I have been drawing as a hobby and possible proffession for about 8 years and have a apprenticeship at a ghetto but also professional and fun tattoo shop on Crenshaw in Los Angeles CA .
Also I haven't "decided to invest" in a camera or an expensive phone yet. I have a weed habit and a medcal marijuana liscense.
you should start a religion.
[QUOTE=JustGman;36846596]you should start a cult.[/QUOTE]
Yes.
Cheers for those threadbare platitudes that won't help anyone at all, but frankly your ego doesn't need a thread all to itself
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;36847749]Cheers for those threadbare platitudes that won't help anyone at all, but frankly your ego doesn't need a thread all to itself[/QUOTE]
His ego is steadily losing weight, as the thread suggests.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;36846745]my penis has grown five inches
thanks op![/QUOTE]
it definitely works! i grew a penis!
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;36847749]Cheers for those threadbare platitudes that won't help anyone at all, but frankly your ego doesn't need a thread all to itself[/QUOTE]
So you brought yours here?
I didn't realize the secret to success was "smoke weed errday".
Thank you.
You make a lot of sense, sir.
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1132545[/url]
yes i think you are qualified to give out success tips
nice collection of common sense.
edit: losing weight doesn't seem that hard to me atleast. in a month of doing standing work (which honestly didnt leave me the energy to work out too much) and eating one subway meal + small breakfast and snacks etcetera a day at average (too little) i lost DANGEROUS amounts of weight.
[QUOTE=mzathemind;36846445]
SOCIAL LIFE
This isn't the Sims if you don't have one you honestly aren't missing much.
[/QUOTE]
hahaeheaheaHAHEAHAEH
[QUOTE=Lachz0r;36851242][url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1132545[/url]
yes i think you are qualified to give out success tips[/QUOTE]
Old shit im past that
all of this is shitty advice.
[editline]20th July 2012[/editline]
don't listen to it
i took all this advice and now i get bitches on the daily
Drawing tattoos on Crenshaw
financial success
ROLF LAMO
[QUOTE=mzathemind;36846445]SOCIAL LIFE
This isn't the Sims [B]if you don't have one you honestly aren't missing much[/B].[/QUOTE]
This is actually not true.
mzathemind cured my diabetes!
In order to lose weight exercise regularly? Thanks for the info OP!
And who can forget such words of wisdoms as "Get money by getting paid and not spending it all."
Thanks for the advice. I am now a famous Hollywood actor!
FOOD
So you thought that those kids starving in Africa are the only people that need food to live? Not fucking likely, amigo! Several respected science journals have published articles claiming that not only does food taste great, it also keeps you alive. Rapidly losing muscle mass? Stomach swelling? Menstruation irregular? Well make sure you eat at least one meal a day and soon those vultures won't be circling over you whenever you step outside to get the mail.
AIR
Air's is really important, even though it's everywhere. Regularly breathing has been proven to be linked with increased sex drive, healthy blood flow and muscle action and not dying horribly from suffocation. Make sure to expand and contract your chest at regular intervals to ensure a constant flow of air in and out of your lungs. If you do this correctly then you should find that you get a steady supply of oxygen. Just don't do it too much! Hyperventilation is a real turn off for the ladies!
THIS REALLY WORKS! Six months ago I weighed 85 lbs and I was constantly suffocating but thanks to these two handy tips I both look and feel great! I regularly have sex with many beautiful models and have a Grade A job at an insurance firm. I am making shit happen for myself because I am not a starved, suffocated corpse.
[quote]
SOCIAL LIFE
This isn't the Sims if you don't have one you honestly aren't missing much.
[/quote]
Ha ha no
[QUOTE=Starpluck;36861816]This is actually not true.[/QUOTE]
I think it is
:(
[QUOTE=mzathemind;36846445]WEIGHT
Losing weight is easy as getting up from that Xbox 30 minutes a day stand in a wide space in your room (if comfortable around your family you can use the living room). Do some lunges, some situps, some squats, or whatever. You have the internet so its just that easy to find workouts. 30 mins to an hour a day and you'll be shedding weight like an animal.[/QUOTE]
it's not that easy
Oh wow, I was a total wreck before coming here!
I totally didn't know that working out and dieting made me healthier, or that working to get money is good, or that I should talk to the opposite sex if I want to get a girlfriend!
Thanks man, you have completely changed my life!
implying that all people are hard working money goal oriented money savers, and dont spent the measly 20 dollars they earned that month on steam sale
was this supposed to be a joke or did you seriously type this out and think that it was A. good advice B. a good thread?
[QUOTE=mzathemind;36846445]Do you stay on the internet until 4 o clock in the morning? This is because you are a fucking idiot.[/QUOTE]
[quote=mazthemind's steam page]I can't get back on my normal sleep pattern.[/quote]
op is a legit nerd
massive one
Its this thread again.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;36867122]it is actually, you'll just lose the weight slowly and that might put some lazy people off[/QUOTE]
it isn't actually
losing weight requires initiative and if you're going for "IT'S THAT EASY" then clearly you don't have very much and will not stick to a repeated exercise program.
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