Uh yeah my history lesson of facepunch...
A facepunch history
Long ago there was this man named garry.... Wait I take that back he was more than a man he was a god; A god of nerds. One day while jacking off to half life 2 porn he thought "Why not make a sandbox mod on half life 2 where you can pose the people and do stupid shit?". Thus GMod was born.
But GMod needed a forum so he made facepunch with nerds orgasmed at. Why yes ever nerds pants where filled wth warm sticky jizz for Garry. Then Garry needed some mods so he got Hezzy the god of pot sex and rock and roll!
But Garry needed money he was done going though the trash to find a twinke and survive off it so he made GOLD MEMBERS! These golden gods would pay ten dollars to have there E-penis enlarged. Thus Garry could now eat trendy Asian food. But then Garry wanted to finally do anyway with gold members so then the great day of monkey_123 came...
After removing and replacing the option to go gold multiple times, he decided he would instead simply raise the price from $15 to $1,000. People could still become gold, that is, if they wanted it that much.Monkey learned a lesson in internet wisdom.
In one OIFY thread, Somebody joked that the 1,000 dollar price was a trick and the upgrade would be free. Like the brilliant man he was, fellow member Monkey_123 believed it and without any doubt, upgraded using his mother's PayPal account. Unfortunately, the $1,000 price turned out to be real, and Monkey_123 was soon wallowing in a pool of foolishness and self-despair. Much laughs ensued, and Monkey_123 was forever branded with the words of his plea for help. The ordeal resulted in a fiasco in which Monkey's mom emailed Garry, asking for the money back. There is still some debate as to the legitimacy of the letter, and as to whether Monkey's family is really poor
Next was law for kids. A Facepunch meme. It was this web comic to help retards learn not to call in bomb threats shoplift and kill. All the fun things. So Facpunch photoshoped it to make it funny.
Next the gold members put on there special suits and kamikazed the forums with parody threads. No one knows why... Perhaps some sort of gold member disease? What ever it was most of the gold members got banned and went extinct for the most part. The rare gold member that you see is a veteran and needs respect. Or at-least a gay-bow.
Then Garry ran out of money for hookers and released GMod ten and charged the peasants 10 dollars for this wonderful game. There was a out cry of people bitching about paying for a mod. But Garry did not care and still does not.
Then postals ass my GOD! Uh yeah he posted a picture of his ugly ass.
There was not much after that... The old ratings died and were resurrected and renamed and look different now. And there was the kid who sanded his face off but not much else has happened. This concludes my Facepunch history lesson. May the gold members rest in peace.
Interesting summary. You should go into depth about rating whoring, joindate elitism, and postcount egotism. Those were heavy subjects back in the day!
by the way, have you actually been around for any of this, or did you do some research?
That's it? What about the idiot culls? The color forums? FPS_Tehpwner? The old spelling system? (I CAN'T REMEMBER SHIT) You have hardly scratched the surface of FP history.
also the ban-o-caust/banpocolypse earlier last year... who was it, hezzy? I can't remember anymore.
[editline]12:34pm[/editline]
Comedy-HURR option
It reads like a bad encyclopedia dramatica article.
What about the Firerain incident and the mods banning themselves?
Don't forget the old old man.
Chapter 2! :dance:
How does he know so much?!
To answer all the knowledge questions I have a friend who showed me facepunch. He was there for a long time and this a alt don't tell the mods. And thanks for the support I made this in class when I got bored too.
I fucking hated the old spelling system.
I kuld'nt be gayngstuh.
Mikfoz didnt make the highlight reel? ... SHAME
this is a bad story
so you want a chapter 2?
I thought Facepunch was a forum for Garry's game Facewound.
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