It's really getting quite disturbing. She goes on sex chat sites and deliberately fucks with people while I'm on the phone with her. Yesterday, she told me this:
"Mm, yes. He's playing with his nipples."
"Why?"
"Because I told him to. I love this power, haha."
Then I politely excused myself because the rest of the conversation was basically her giggling maliciously and I had dinner to eat.
But I digress.
Anyway, I was doing some thinking, and I wondered if maybe this has to do with her past of sexual abuse (which she hates talking about, but I've been friends with her long enough to know a little). So since she had no control when that happened when she was little, do you think she's compensating for it now by being controlling?
Normally, I wouldn't be too concerned about her personal business. But, you know, she's interested in me sexually. I know that. I used to just think she was joking, but then I asked her seriously the other day if she really meant all the sexual stuff she said about me, and she said, "Yeah, of course. I'm bi. I thought you knew that."
But I didn't, not really, because she loves cock. A lot. Vagina, too, apparently. (Personally, I'm not ready for a relationship of any kind right now, especially with her. I don't even know if I like girls.)
Anyway, she's pretty aggressive and she could easily take advantage of my passivity. I just want to help her get over her past sexual issues, but she won't talk about it. She covers it up with pretending to be aroused by things like rape and sexual humiliation because if she can convince herself that's normal, then the trauma of her childhood won't seem so twisted.
I want to tell her that. I just don't know how to bring it up without scaring her or putting her back in that place she was as a helpless little girl that got taken advantage of by her step-dad. Because of him, she might not ever know the intimacy of making love. Just fucking.
Okay, yeah. I'm a romantic.
So anyway, how can I help resolve her issues, or at least make her open to talking about them? I'm worried about her. I want her to be able to get off on things without power being an issue anymore. She could be so much happier. What can I do for her?
kill her before she becomes the dictator of the world
You should give her a hug, she obviously need to know someone is caring for her. Get her out of her aggressive state and comfort her.
she's mad with power
the only way to beat her is a game of yahtzee
pics of her for investigation purposes
Rape her with a toilet snake.
-snip-
She should get a therapist
You sound like you already know exactly what's wrong, you hardly need our advice.
[QUOTE=Within;21235772]You should give her a hug, she obviously need to know someone is caring for her. Get her out of her aggressive state and comfort her.[/QUOTE]
I agree, you'd be surprised at how many people feel unloved. It's always good to make someone feel nice.
Hit her and put her in her place
I'm usually pretty passive but I don't let people exploit me like that. You shouldn't either. Be passive-assertive or something. The difference here being is that I'm not romantic. I don't really have a huge interest in relationships at the moment.
Also the first time you confront her about her potential issues with power she'll probably shy away or deny it. It's going to take a while and you must be willing to work with her.
[QUOTE=Within;21235772]You should give her a hug, she obviously need to know someone is caring for her. Get her out of her aggressive state and comfort her.[/QUOTE]
No. I swear to god, she would dry hump me. She's an extreme pervert.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;21235885]No. I swear to god, she would dry hump me. She's an extreme pervert.[/QUOTE]
You should really try to get some emotions through her facade of shit and get her down from the constant adrenaline kick she's probably having.
[QUOTE=Within;21235916]You should really try to get some emotions through her facade of shit and get her down from the constant adrenaline kick she's probably having.[/QUOTE]
You're right. Her facade is so thick, though. I have to figure out how to get through it without hurting her.
Because I feel bad for you and your situation, I decided to cheer you up by fixing up your avatar.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/fredeatshisface_copy.png[/img]
[QUOTE=Shoupie;21235969]You're right. Her facade is so thick, though. I have to figure out how to get through it without hurting her.[/QUOTE]
Talk to her calmly so that she know you're talking to her because you care about her. Eventually she'll let it go and open a bit up. Maybe not within 10 minutes, but over time.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;21235969]You're right. Her facade is so thick, though. I have to figure out how to get through it without hurting her.[/QUOTE]
Weed
[QUOTE=Within;21235772]You should give her a hug, she obviously need to know someone is caring for her. Get her out of her aggressive state and comfort her.[/QUOTE]
No, stop trying to get hearts, give this man a box house to live in
I'd say cut all ties and get outta there like Colonel Sanders at a PETA convention.
[QUOTE=BagMinge101;21236011]Because I feel bad for you and your situation, I decided to cheer you up by fixing up your avatar.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/fredeatshisface_copy.png[/img][/QUOTE]
That's a horrible job.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;21235969]You're right. Her facade is so thick, though. I have to figure out how to get through it without hurting her.[/QUOTE]
When you start talking to her, be very subtle at first. If she makes approaches towards you, let your body language tell her you're not here to do that. Gradually get more probing with your questions and offer more support. If she tries to shut you out, don't continually bother her about it, she may still be holding painful memories or issues and things. That's all I can come up with.
Some people just like power. I love the idea of absolute power. I love it in matters of sex, too. Only then I like my partner to be the powerful one... Regardless, some people just like the idea and are attracted to it, for whatever reason. There may be nothing behind it, there may be everything behind it, it doesn't matter. I don't see how it's a bad thing. You seem to think it's an issue currently, but I don't see why.
I wish I could be as kind as Shoupie & Most of you.
I'd just try to avoid the whole subject and let her fantasize about rape - HOLY SHIT IS THIS A FEMALE RYU-GI?
See what I mean? :sigh:
[QUOTE=Wonky;21236030]Weed[/QUOTE]
I don't know where to get weed.
[QUOTE=Wonky;21236052]That's a horrible job.[/QUOTE]
It's better than nothing.
Be sure to let her know that you know she doesn't feel very well, it's important she doesn't mistake your attempt.
One statement like that doesn't make you a power maniac. I like to tell the women on Brazzers live to put cats on their heads. I love the power.
I also fuck shit up in vidyagames. Power.
I'm sure she's fine. Just give her some good domination and show her who's boss.
[QUOTE=Teal Moose;21236053]When you start talking to her, be very subtle at first. If she makes approaches towards you, let your body language tell her you're not here to do that. Gradually get more probing with your questions and offer more support. If she tries to shut you out, don't continually bother her about it, she may still be holding painful memories or issues and things. That's all I can come up with.[/QUOTE]
Truth.
[QUOTE=Detective P;21236054]Some people just like power. I love the idea of absolute power. I love it in matters of sex, too. Only then I like my partner to be the powerful one... Regardless, some people just like the idea and are attracted to it, for whatever reason. There may be nothing behind it, there may be everything behind it, it doesn't matter. I don't see how it's a bad thing. You seem to think it's an issue currently, but I don't see why.[/QUOTE]
It could be a result of her abuse. If so, it could develop more. She could be harboring other, worse tendencies inside her. It's better to be safe than sorry. If talking doesn't work, well at least it will hopefully have brought them closer together as friends.
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