Acclaimed Novelist Writes New Best-Selling Childrens' Book: "Go The Fuck To Sleep" - Polidicks

[quote=The Today Show][img]http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/TODAY/Today%20Parenting/_d_Today%20Moms%20teases/00_Current%20Mom%20Teases/GtFtS2.nv_nws.jpg[/img] When "Goodnight Moon" just isn't cutting it... one dad and novelist has written a bedtime story to warm the hearts of sleep-deprived parents everywhere: "Go the Fuck to Sleep." By Kristin Kalning, TODAY Moms contributor Most parents can recall a particularly dark and dreadful night when their little one just wouldn’t go to sleep. And most parents have uttered -- in their heads, or under their breath – a frustrated profanity about it. Novelist and dad Adam Mansbach did one better: He wrote a children’s book called "Go the Fuck to Sleep." Here’s a sample: [quote]“The cats nestle close to their kittens. The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear Please go the fuck to sleep.”[/quote] Now before you call Child Protective Services, let’s be clear: This book is written and illustrated in the tradition of a child’s bedtime book, but it’s not at all meant for kids. (It says so on the back cover.) The book, which alternates lilting verse with, well, profane reality, is aimed squarely at parents. “Hopefully, the book is very reflective of what we all feel putting our kids to bed,” Mansbach told TODAY Moms. “We all love our kids – it’s not like we stop loving our kids – but as the minutes tick by, we’ll do anything to get out of that room.” Mansbach isn’t just another foul-mouthed, wannabe writer – he’s an acclaimed and accomplished author. He’s a visiting professor of fiction at Rutgers University. But as any good fiction teacher will tell you, you’ve gotta write what you know. And last summer, Mansbach knew that it was taking for-freaking-ever to get his 2-year-old daughter, Vivien, to go the fuck to sleep. He posted an exasperated lament on Facebook, and his friends told him to write a book. So he did. “Go the Fuck to Sleep” just went to print, so I got a personal, over-the-phone reading from the author. It’s laugh-out-loud funny, capturing perfectly the seemingly endless bedtime routine all parents have endured: the requests for one more story, a glass of water, another bathroom trip, a different teddy bear. It juxtaposes the sweet words we say to our kids on such a night with what we’re really thinking in our heads. Mansbach hopes people will not only relate to the book, but get some relief from it, too. Despite the “tremendous culture of parenting,” there’s a lot that doesn’t get talked about, he said. “Hopefully, the honesty of this book will open up the conversation. These are legitimate ways that we feel, and we should laugh about it, and be honest about these tribulations.” These days, Mansbach’s daughter is a pretty darned good sleeper. “I would like to think that writing this book solved her sleep problems,” he said with a laugh. “Go the Fuck to Sleep,” from Akashic Books, comes out on Oct. 11. It’s already in the top 300 on Amazon. [/quote] [url=http://moms.today.com/][source][/url] I found out about this when my mom suddenly busted out laughing. I thought you guys would appreciate it. Also, I know what I'll read to my future children. :v:

“The cats nestle close to their kittens. The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear Please go the fuck to sleep.” It sounds fairly depressed.

It's probably not intended to be read for kids as a bedtime story, it's more a work of humor for parents.

Only that it's for parents, not children. Pretty misleading title

I love how they censored the cover

Hay didle didle the cat in the fiddle the cow jumped over the moon and said GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

Hahahah. Love this.

I look forward to reading this to the little brats they leave in my work's lobby. Wiping your nose on the TV? Go the fuck to sleep. Throwing those Duplo blocks at my window? Go the fuck to sleep. Vomiting and then trying to put it back? Go the fuck to sleep.

inb4 soccer moms start bitching about a word

Saw this article and instantly went on Amazon to buy this. Giving it to my sister for her kids.

best book cover/name EVA!

[QUOTE=Herb;29452135]Saw this article and instantly went on Amazon to buy this. Giving it to my sister for her kids.[/QUOTE] Kinda sad that you know you won't have kids. Forever alone? Or you just hate kids?

[QUOTE=The Party Spy;29453586]Kinda sad that you know you won't have kids. Forever alone? Or you just hate kids?[/QUOTE] What makes you think he won't have kids? Jesus christ.

[QUOTE=The Party Spy;29453586]Kinda sad that you know you won't have kids. Forever alone? Or you just hate kids?[/QUOTE] Please show me where he says he knows he'll never have kids.

I used to want to write children stories for adults for a living.

[QUOTE=demoguy08;29450774]It's probably not intended to be read for kids as a bedtime story, it's more a work of humor for parents.[/QUOTE] Oh how I miss the bad reading rating.

I know what my next read is now.

Holy shit! Mothers day is coming soon, I can get this for my mother, hahahaha, it's perfect!

[QUOTE=Rubs10;29455279]Holy shit! Mothers day is coming soon, I can get this for my mother, hahahaha, it's perfect![/QUOTE] Why did they get rid of bad reading? [quote=The OP]“Go the Fuck to Sleep,” from Akashic Books, comes out on Oct. 11. It’s already in the top 300 on Amazon.[/quote]

[QUOTE=ASmellyOgre;29455320]Why did they get rid of bad reading?[/QUOTE] Oct. 11? Well at least I can get it for Christmas.

bought it.

oh man this is the best book ever

[QUOTE=seano12;29451466]Hay didle didle the cat in the fiddle the cow jumped over the moon and said GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.[/QUOTE] See spot run See spot jump See spot sleep now take a hint you little fucking cunt

1 fish 2 fish red fish go the fuck to sleep

And my dick runs deep so deep so deep put her ass to sleep

[QUOTE=thisispain;29458734]And my dick runs deep so deep so deep put her ass to sleep[/QUOTE] Wat