I got the shit scared out of me last night. Here's why.
I was going on my usual, late-night walk to the store with my friend. The store is about half a mile or so away from home so it's a nice walk there and back. We'll get some tea or arizona's or something along those lines and then enjoy it on our walk back, talking about video games or whatever else is on our mind.
Now, this time wasn't different from any of those. We made it to the store fine, but on the way back, I needed to pee. BAD.
So, we're in one of those condo complexes that cut through and it's pretty late at night and no one is around so I decided to take a leak in one of the shrubberies. I've done it before, it's not a big deal.. you just walk back in some bushes and pee. Simple.
But this time, things got complicated! I walked back into the shrubbery and unzipped my pants and slid my schlong out kind of did that pre-urinate penis stretch thing, and take a breath to try and relax, but my eye caught something. It wasn't moving, but it wasn't part of the plants. I couldn't see it in the dark, but I thought it would be some trash or something.
If only it [I]was[/I] trash.
It was a RACOON! And I started peeing on and around it and once it started for me I jerked back and sprinted, urine still coming out of my PP and I was yelling and screaming. The thing jumped at me, scaring the shit out of me.
But when I was out in the openness of the concrete sidewalk, it ran back towards some other plants.
So now I use a catheter when I go on walks.
IMAGE:
[IMG]http://i33.tinypic.com/sgjr89.png[/IMG]
TL;DR- went peepee in a shrubbery and racoon almost eats penis
I seriously expected badage boys.
I'm glad the most dangerous animal I'll ever face is a squirrel.
it would have been a funnier story if it bit it off
also this
[QUOTE=WhatTheKlent;24022396]I seriously expected badage boys.[/QUOTE]
:wtc:
Good for you.
[QUOTE=WhatTheKlent;24022396]I seriously expected badage boys.[/QUOTE]
When I wrote the title even I was like, "This sounds like badage boys."
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA951T3gc6w[/media]
You know this is the first thing that came to mind when reading this.
I was expecting some bad MS Paint picture, but this just made me LOL.
Penises aren't part of raccoon diets.
Not as funny as the wind powered boat.
-nvm-
I would have laughed if you got rabies if it bit you
best story to tell to get a chick into bed... you lucky bastard you
[QUOTE=ghostfais;24022558]best story to tell to get a chick into bed... you lucky bastard you[/QUOTE]
"You see this cack?
Almost eaten by a racoon."
omg i want to sit on it now!
:smug:
:wtc:
I've already been beaten to the badage boys thing so I might as well post a comment to the thread.
I would never go near a bush if this ever happened to me
I wish the raccoon HAD bitten your penis off. That would be an interesting read, indeed.
Racoon would of fucked you up if it wasn't a baby.
[QUOTE=Meggy;24022651]I wish the raccoon HAD bitten your penis off. That would be an interesting read, indeed.[/QUOTE]
Would be even better if he was a girl
"My pussy was almost eaten by a Racoon"
[QUOTE=Meggy;24022651]I wish the raccoon HAD bitten your penis off. That would be an interesting read, indeed.[/QUOTE][url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2172612.ece[/url]
[QUOTE=Supersheepie;24022684]Would be even better if he was a girl
"My pussy was almost eaten by a Racoon"[/QUOTE]
I'm saving that story for another time.
[QUOTE=SPESSMEHREN;24022704][url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2172612.ece[/url][/QUOTE]
Not enough details, pics, etc.
Titles like the one of this thread are like advertisements; they make it seem interesting enough to bother with.
I mean it's an interesting story, but the title makes you expect something else.