• Amazing Tools: The Burette
    49 replies, posted
[b]NOTE: THIS IS THREAD IS FOR PEOPLE WHO SEEK TO BE EDUCATED IN THE KNOWLEDGE OF TOOLS. IF YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, IT WOULD MAKE US HAPPY IF YOU DIDN'T WASTE YOUR TIME HERE[/B] [media]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ewhy3rnybCQ/S7NVO7rFjNI/AAAAAAAAAA8/EeVWi8aYW3Q/s1600/burette.jpg[/media] [b]Introduction[/b] Hello fellow Toolologists (that means people who study tools), I'm here today to bring Toolologists a newly discovered tool that was manufactured in Australia. It was discovered in what seems to be a strange soft container buried 5 feet under the Australian soil. What was even better was that the container had contained about 100 of these, burettes. Our highly educated carbon dating team tells us it was made about 5 decades ago. [b]How it will revolutionized measurements[/b] Seeing as it was made 5 decades ago, we have concluded that the people had made these were having a bit of a eureka going on here. It seems that we have been measuring our liquids wrong all these years. As you maybe able to tell from our earlier picture, the burette measures low amounts of liquids as having high volumes while large amounts of liquids as having low volumes and if there's enough liquid, it can reach a volume of 0 Tm cube, which is the equivalent of 0 metres times 10 by the power of 81. But to put it in simple terms, it is 0. We have also come to the conclusion that the volume of the all the oceans put together is 0, because if we had measured it with an enormous amounts of burettes, it would probably be 0 anyway as we know that when anything multiplies with 0, the answer is 0. Hopefully in the future, we can use the burette to find the answer to any number being divided by zero [b]Assumed uses[/b] As we have said and observed, it is a tool for measuring precise amounts of liquid, correctly, compared to those misinforming liquid measuring tools, such as the horrendous measuring cylinder. Also as observed, it has a valVe. We have assumed that the valVe can be used to slowly remove liquid to obtain correct measurements for important processes like urine tests and making pancakes. [b]In the future[/b] We hope that scientists recognize our discovery to correct present day science and in the process, prevent several future science flip ups. We may have even use this tool to figure a way of obtaining fuel that lasts forever. Thanks for our reading our article. We hope we have enlightened you fully on the whereabouts of the burette. FOR SCIENCE! [img]http://www.chemistryland.com/CHM151S/05-Gases/Gases/Gaylussac.jpg[/img] [highlight][b]DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ONLY THEORY SO FAR AND USE OF THIS TOOL SHOULD BE DONE WITH DISCRETION IN CASE OF ANY DANGERS WE HAVE YET DISCOVERED[/b][/highlight]
Wha?
Hmm interdasting ... ... ... [img]http://moblog.net/media/r/o/c/rocket/evil-cat-cut-my-hand-1.jpg[/img] Christ thanks alot, thread
Thats pretty cool OP!
[QUOTE=johnkane46;29350652]Thats pretty cool OP![/QUOTE] Thank you for your friendly comment. We can only hope the future has more bright people like you. If you have discovered anything new, do send it us. This is our address [quote]3100 Ocean Park Boulevard, Santa Monica, California 90405[/quote] Same goes with all of you toolologists.
What a tool
I am so sick of burettes and titrations. I once had to use a fucked up one that would give a spurt JUST as you tightened it to stop dripping. Nobody even uses hand valve burettes anymore. Automatic burettes are the way to go.
[img]http://gyazo.com/6e96e73d2f7b41550a588e7ffd10939a.png[/img] very funny asshole
[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2iG4pDIwpDA/TPamXV-YHsI/AAAAAAAAAGE/qBfYGQi2fsA/s1600/3I566SKE1micro_pipette.jpg[/img] Micropipette is where it's at
Where are all the cuts coming from?
[img]http://www.cricketbread.com/images/cut_hand.jpg[/img] Fuck.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/WHATTTTT.png[/img] seriously op its actually stuck in my eye
Did a volumetric titration like two weeks ago. Pretty fun.
If you rub a balloon on your head and put it next to the slowest steady flow the burette can maintain it'll pull the water towards the balloon. Did it in chemistry one day.
[QUOTE=kebab52;29353547]Did a volumetric titration like two weeks ago. Pretty fun.[/QUOTE] If that's fun, I don't want to see your definition of boring.
Burets are surely the most fragile piece of lab equipment I have ever seen. In terms of actual usage, it's a damn miracle. But if you even LOOK at this shit the wrong way it snaps like a goddamn twig. Or maybe I'm just that damn strong. :kamina:
The cuts came from the prank thread didn't they?
This is awesome! Thanks OP!
[QUOTE=mokkan;29353660]The cuts came from the prank thread didn't they?[/QUOTE] [media]http://4chanarchive.org/images/228903045/1274174000763.png[/media]
Upon further research, mainly secondary research, it seems the burette has a effect on peoples' minds. Apparently small amounts of exposure to the burette will cause minor paranoia. Further amounts can cause a person to believe that the burette is alive and talking. He will also suffer major paranoia. Even further amounts will cause a person to become a masochist and will use a burette to inflict pain upon self, believing that anything else is not safe to use because the burette "said so". Once a cut is made, the person will regain lucidity and turn back to normal, like as though he was never exposed in the first place, but symptoms of exposure may reappear. [highlight][b]Avoid periodic exposure to the burette[/b][/highlight]
OP You forget to mention that the Burette will occasionally drive itself under its own power into your eye [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] seriously i have been here for ten minutes trying to diajl the hospotial but its not proving effective
Please dont die cheeseman I changed my mind I need my daily cheese
Damn I need to master the Burette for titrations for my Chemistry exam
Wow what the fuck OP.
[QUOTE=mokkan;29354034]Please dont die cheeseman I changed my mind I need my daily cheese[/QUOTE] sorry did I forget to tell you you have to fill out a legal waiver to reply to one of my posts
Superior tools: [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3l1wQJpTeQA/SiFgY-RfAWI/AAAAAAAAAFs/kY1WgdP-O34/s400/GC-MS.jpg[/img] [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f9/HWB-NMR_-_900MHz_-_21.2_Tesla.jpg[/img]
The word burette reminds me of titrations, ugh, bad bad memories
[QUOTE=Contag;29354073]Superior tools: [img_thumb]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3l1wQJpTeQA/SiFgY-RfAWI/AAAAAAAAAFs/kY1WgdP-O34/s400/GC-MS.jpg[/img_thumb] [img_thumb]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f9/HWB-NMR_-_900MHz_-_21.2_Tesla.jpg[/img_thumb][/QUOTE] Yes because you can use computers and copying machines to paint, draw, hammer nails, screw screws, check the volume of water, inject a liquid into somebody, grasp an object and manipulate it, blow oxygen onto a fire, cut, stab, chop wood and open a bottle can't you [tab]nerd[/tab] just because ur pc can do pc things and ur printer can print things and ur terrifying machine that looks like it makes terminator robots makes terminator robots or separates atoms of creatives biotoxins does not make it superior. imagine if all hammers, needles and screwdrivers suddenly stopped existing and could not be produced anymore
[QUOTE=CheeseMan;29354136]Yes because you can use computers and copying machines to paint, draw, hammer nails, screw screws, check the volume of water, inject a liquid into somebody, grasp an object and manipulate it, blow oxygen onto a fire, cut, stab, chop wood and open a bottle can't you [/QUOTE] You're right. The ultimate tool is actually two of these bad boys. [img]http://www.karonse.be/nederlands/nat/Oefeningen/Lichaam/hand.jpg[/img] They're rated at highly dexterous movement, thought some assembly of further tools are required to make the most out of them.
[QUOTE=BrQ;29353723][media]http://4chanarchive.org/images/228903045/1274174000763.png[/media][/QUOTE] What happens?
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