Finished up my junior year at film school with this piece. Care to help me out with some constructi
7 replies, posted
[video=youtube;bxf2SIH-v90]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxf2SIH-v90[/video]
This is my final for my Junior Cinema Production course, titled "Little Brother". I'm done with the project for now, but next semester we're required to make a 8-10 minute film over the entire semester. After watching this, what could you tell me to help me out in preparation for next semester?
During conversations it's important to switch the angles often. It really adds more focus and keeps the viewer interested.
1:46 & 1:52
This banging sound out of nowhere. Did he kick the table, drop something and what did it add to the story to be so noticeable?
I don't think it telegraphs its ideas as well as it should, for a few reasons:
-They're not well-defined characters. All I see is two geeky guys having a mumbly argument. One drops the thingy and one doesn't, but other than that they seem like the same character.
-There's no emotional investment created. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel about what happens. Am I supposed to be sad about their deteriorating relationship? Is their relationship deteriorating? I'm not even sure of that, because you never show them getting along. Both of them are being annoying dicks to each other from the first shot, so im immediately biased against them and im never sympathetic to them.
-I have no idea what they're doing. I'm assuming it's filming equipment because you're in film school, and if that's your audience, you probably won't have a problem there. But to me as a layman they could just as easily be a survey team or something. This is also because...
-...both of the actors mumble way too much (the beard guy seems to be trying to fake an accent or something too and it's not working). I honestly didn't even know what was happening in the second half cause all the dialogue was like that. Clean shaven guy got something? And he told beard guy? And beard guy's answer made him sad? And then he did...nothing I guess?
-I just noticed the title. Are they supposed to be brothers? I didn't get that from the movie either. If one of them said it, I didn't hear it (probably because he was mumbling!)
-The last poster said you need to film more in shot/reverse shot but I don't know if that's necessarily even the problem. I think you just need to plan your shots better. In the first scene there's a pretty wide shot that shows beard guy and clean shaven guy. CSG is in focus, which tells the viewer to pay attention to only him. But he's only half of the conversation...and the camera is pointed at the back of his head. Even when beard guy talks, he stays blurry, and the camera stays sharply focused on the back of his friend's head.
The rule with shooting dialogue, especially emotionally intense dialogue where there's nothing else of import happening in the scene (and the work they're doing isn't important--one you establish it with an opening shot you can just show their faces) is to A) get closeup shots of people's faces and B) only cut to stuff that's important. Cutting is key part of your visual language because it tells the audience that what you're cutting to is important. If you cut to a reaction shot with little or no reaction, the audience is going to assume it's important because you cut to it, and get distracted trying to figure out what cue they missed, when in reality it was just a cut for no reason.
That said, you do need to cut more. The fight is pretty much one long unbroken wide shot. It doesnt tell us anything about what's happening, just "this happened." Cuts and close-up shots could have added some emotional drama, including some actual surprise and excitement when he drops the camera--the way it's delivered as part of the wide shot, with no attention given to it, makes me think it's not a big deal. It's clearly one of the key moments in your movie, so your camera language should communicate that! Youre letting the dialogue do all the work, and since the dialogue is mumbled and incoherent that's an even bigger problem.
Also some technical issues that would probably harder to fix, and less of a priority:
-The acting just kinda sucks. Soz. I'm not convinced they're real people, their anger seems affected and the rhythm of their exchanges doesn't ring true.
-I'm not sure how you miked it but there's pretty loud ambient noise throughout, which is distracting and further obscures the dialogue. Maybe work on that for the next one?
[editline]14th December 2011[/editline]
That was way longer and more rambling than I intended, so here's the important part:
You need to understand that your role as a director is to help tell the story, not just document it. Every choice you make about where to put the camera, when to cut, and what to cut to, you have an opportunity to participate in the storytelling and STRONGLY influence your audience's perception of what's going on--not because they know all these "rules" about cutting and camera placement but because they've been trained to respond to those cues by Hollywood movies. It doesn't feel like you're doing that, which is kind of shocking to me given you're finishing your junior year in film school. But it's not too late to start thinking harder about your directorial choices that way.
I have no idea about what is going on? Do they hate each other and he's just got another job somewhere or what?
Also its the same camera angles over and over again theres never anything adventurous in there perhaps you could of had an over the shoulder or something in a convo or two, there's just no variety there.
There is not much to criticise. Hardly anything happens. If you want to make a short, make it original and interesting. I don't see originality or anything interesting, just two people not getting along with each other. How can that even be considered a "cinematic piece". It just seems like a camera work and audio test.
Camera angles were what made it a little boring. Also, it needed more dinosaurs
The dialogue was very poor. Especially the way the actors spoke. It almost felt robotic and very unnatural. Cinematography was good though
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.