This Yogurt's Gone Bad! Woman Claims She Was Served Semen Instead Of Yogurt - Polidicks

[url=http://www.krqe.com/dpp/news/crime/woman-claims-yogurt-was-tainted]Source + Video[/url] [release][quote][img]http://media2.krqe.com//photo/2011/01/26/anthony_garcia_20110126122241_640_480.JPG[/img] Anthony García[/quote] [B]ALBUQUERQUE (KRQE) -[/B] A woman claims that when she tasted a yogurt sample from Sunflower Market in northwest Albuquerque and immediately spit it out. According to the woman, the yogurt had "bodily fluid" in it. The Albuquerque Police Department is investigating whether the woman's claims can be substantiated. Tuesday night detectives said a woman who was shopping at Sunflower Market on Corrales Road and Alameda tried a free yogurt sample. She told police she spit it out because it tasted like sperm. The woman told management and called police around 9 p.m. Investigators questioned the male employee who was handing out the free samples but said they could not charge him until after tests prove it was semen. “We found where she basically spit out the possible evidence,” Sgt. Trish Hoffman said. “As far back as I can remember this is the first time that we've ever dealt with this.” Hoffman said police scooped up the possible evidence and sent to the crime lab. While the employee was not charged on the yogurt case he was arrested because he was a wanted man. Police arrested Anthony Garcia, 31, because he had two outstanding bench warrants. One of the warrants was filed in December for failure to appear for an arraignment. The charges on the case included two counts of criminal sexual contact of a minor. Police confirmed Garcia is the employee in question. “Of course we did talk to the employee who claims that it's not the case and that it was the yogurt inside the store,” Hoffman said. Police said charges all depend on what investigators find in that yogurt sample. “It is a [del]sticky[/del] touchy situation,” Hoffman said. “We don't want to accuse someone if they didn't do that, but when you're looking at criminal nature people deny things that they've done. So it's up to us to get to the bottom of the story and find out what actually took place.” Detectives said if testing proves there was semen in the yogurt the worker could be charged with battery. Police said that is the same charge someone gets when they spit in food. A spokesperson with the Sunflower Market's Corporate Office in Phoenix said they would not comment because they’re waiting for more information. Police will not say how long it will be before test results come back.[/release] I guess you could say... the test results are [I]coming[/I] :v: [editline]1st February 2011[/editline] She could tell the difference between yogurt and jizz in a [del]spit[/del] split second... interesting...

Wouldn't be shocked if she was lying.

It's a sticky situation this kid got himself into.

.......Okay, the puns here are horrible.

The lesson? Don't eat free yogurt.

Does he still give out free yogurt and where can I get some?

[QUOTE=RichyZ;27786056]"eww this tastes like jizz"[/QUOTE] That's what she said

[QUOTE=Swilly;27786064].......Okay, the puns here are horrible.[/QUOTE] It's hard to make puns here without actually pointing them out.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;27786078]Does he still give out free yogurt and where can I get some?[/QUOTE] Right now, that'd be sharing a prison cell with him

[QUOTE=The Great Ghast;27786090]It's hard to make puns here without actually pointing them out.[/QUOTE] Which is why you shouldn't do it. The ones that are obvious are usually the dumbest.

So I see she spits.

[QUOTE=Jad Hinto;27786162]So I see she spits.[/QUOTE] Well played. :golfclap:

1. It's Albuquerque. 2. How does she instantly know what semen tastes like?

The puns are on a roll in here.

[QUOTE=Swilly;27786100]Which is why you shouldn't do it. The ones that are obvious are usually the dumbest.[/QUOTE] How 'bout you show us an example of a good pun instead?

This seems to be happening a lot recently. Women getting served inseminated snacks and beverages, that is, not terrible puns.

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;27786191]How 'bout you show us an example of a good pun instead?[/QUOTE] This one is to obvious! There are none :saddowns:

[img]http://gyazo.com/56960702bb216a011f827cb2c80f3b69.png[/img] Looks like that man ejaculated into a sample sized yogurt container and gave it to the woman which proceeded to eat it and noticed it was semen.

[QUOTE=GhostG45;27786218]This seems to be happening a lot recently. Women getting served inseminated snacks and beverages, that is, not terrible puns.[/QUOTE] Inseminated snacks makes it sound like they've got wombs and have been knocked up can we please not say that anymore

i love how she knew the taste of sperm must've been an awkward conv with the police officer

[QUOTE=Android phone;27786257]Inseminated snacks makes it sound like they've got wombs and have been knocked up can we please not say that anymore[/QUOTE] I will imply that snacks can be impregnated as much as I damn well please.

wow charged with battery? funny

Who [i]came[/i] to the conclusion that these were bad puns?

still wondering why she would take anything from a guy that looks like that, especially something that faintly resembles semen

[QUOTE=Android phone;27786391]still wondering why she would take anything from a guy that looks like that, especially something that faintly resembles semen[/QUOTE] The guy looked legit, I guess... [editline]1st February 2011[/editline] Anyhow, they say jizz is good for you, so what's the big deal? :v:

Maybe she's just used to tasting jizz that tastes like yogurt

[QUOTE=8BitLord;27786255][img_thumb]http://gyazo.com/56960702bb216a011f827cb2c80f3b69.png[/img_thumb] Looks like that man ejaculated into a sample sized yogurt container and gave it to the woman which proceeded to eat it and noticed it was semen.[/QUOTE] Oh man how I miss mojo week.

lucky treat

itʻs not really fair to the man for this to be on the media if heʻs innocent

[QUOTE=MisterMooth;27786797]Maybe she's just used to tasting jizz that tastes like yogurt[/QUOTE] Well I read somewhere long time ago that men who don't smoke make sweet-tasting jizz, so I think you've got a point :v: