• Passing military drug test
    17 replies, posted
Hey DD, I'm joining the USAF Reserves soon and I just wanna make sure I'll pass the test at MEPS or whenever I smoked kinda a lot last semester of college, every other day or every day, once or twice a day but wasn't that concrete, sometimes I wouldn't smoke for days. But anyway, last time I smoked was last Thursday May 9th, and plan to (sadly) not touch it for a long time. The good thing is that I haven't even spoken with a recruiter yet besides scheduling an appointment for next week but I might go in later this week. So any tests should be far away but I want to make sure I know I'm dumb but you all smoke too so help me out please
Copy pasting my old guide for cheating a test: Exercise is very important to increase your body's metabolism and burn fat, which is the best way for getting rid of cannabinoids stored in your body. If you exercise a lot before your test you can be clean up to 3 times faster. However, it is vital that you do not exercise the 2-3 days before the test, as this will leave a lot of metabolites in your urine due to you releasing all those cannabinoids from your fat cells. In fact, the last couple of days you should be a lazy motherfucker, barely moving at all, and eat a lot of fat junk food to create a layer of "clean" fat cells over the other ones (not sure if the latter method works, but many people seem to think so, and it does make sense. Overall, it's worth putting on a few kg it if you want to minimize the risk of getting caught). During the day of your test you will have to dilute your urine by drinking water. You should drink a liter or two the evening before the test, and wake up early in the morning to drink 2-4 liters of water. Something diuretic would be good too, like coffee or tea. Take Vitamine B pills in order to give your piss a yellow color. B2 and B12 works best. You should take about 50-100mg of B2 in order to get a yellow color to your diluted urine. Piss 2-3 times before taking the test as your urine has assembled a lot of cannabinoid metabolites during the night. Once you are taking the test, piss a little in the toilet (or on the floor/in your pants), then piss in the cup but don't piss the last bit you got in you, waste that on the toilet as well. This is because the first and last bit of your piss is usually the dirtiest, while the middle bit is the cleanest. You should note that many people tell you to drink a lot of water every day until your test in order to clean out your urine. This is bullshit. The cannabinoids are released from your fat cells into your urine at a steady rate, drinking water won't flush the cannabinoids away from your fat. What you are doing is diluting the piss, and this is only necessary the day during the test. Also, if they note that your urine is diluted through color they test for creatinine levels. This is sometimes tested anyway, even if you piss yellow. The best way to up your creatinine levels is to take around 5g of creatine each day starting at about 3-4 days before the test. There's no need to eat meat, as you'd need to eat several kg's in order to reach that dose. Best way is just to get creatine pills at your nearest health shop or gym. Note that they do not test for creatine but creatinine, which is creatine's metabolite, and it takes about 24-48 hours for the body to break down creatine into creatinine so it does not work to only take it at the day of the test. Certain fruit juices have the ability to cleanse your urine from impurities, so it would be good to drink a lot every day from 3-4 days before the test. The best is cranberry juice, but it is very expensive and if you can not afford it then a lot of lemon juice will do as well. Lastly, if everything else fails and you are panicked over failing the test, just dip your finger in soap (or squish some in behind your fingernails). When you piss, dip the soap in it in order to fuck it up. After the test the result will show up as failed due bad PH values and you will be forced to remake the test. It might buy you a few days time. This method is actually cheaper than StayBlazed's as well as you are not wasting a bunch of money by drinking Vitamin water and eating beef jerky, but straightly taking Vitamin B and creatine pills.
You haven't smoked in about a week, and the military will give you ample time to prepare for your drug test. I just wouldn't smoke anymore and you will probably be fine. THC can stay in your system for about 30 days, depending on your body type and lifestyle. If you are worried you still may not pass, then go buy a drug test at your local drug store and test yourself. You might want to go buy one of those detox drinks and follow the directions or buy the vitamin and creatine pills like stated above.
the military itself doesn't mind if you've done drugs before, but they do mind if there's stuff in your system. basically i've heard recruiters say you just have to be clean. they recruit with the fact in mind that people recreationally use drugs. but they don't want users in their organization. as said before they'll give you ample time so unless you pull a street kings and smoke an ounce before a drug test you might as well start practicing shooting eyedrops up your dick.
oh okay well that makes me feel better yeah im not retarded im not smoking at all anymore for a while
Btw, does 'strength' exercises (like pull ups) have any effect, or just cardiovascular activities?
well think about it. basically you're trying to speed up your metabolism. cardio is the fastest way.
Anyone know what they even test for. I bet you would be pretty safe with most psychedelics and pharmaceuticals.
It would be safe to assume that they do a 10 panel drug test, this includes: Amphetamines (including Methamphetamine) Barbiturates Benzodiazepines Cannabinoids (THC) Cocaine Methadone Methaqualone Opiates (Codeine, Morphine, Heroin, Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, etc.) Phencyclidine (PCP) Propoxyphene Thus, doing shrooms and LSD would not be detected. My friend's mom actually used to test my friend through high school, so he would just take hits of acid instead.
lol they test for barbs? In 2013?
They almost always do the SAMHSA-5 which includes Cannabinoids (marijuana, hash) Cocaine (cocaine, crack, benzoylecognine) Amphetamines (amphetamines, methamphetamines, speed) - does not include MDMA/MDA/MDE Opiates (heroin, opium, codeine, morphine) Phencyclidine (PCP)
oh hey heres one ive been reading about apparently shrooms only stay in your body for like 3 days and the military doesnt even test for them
They dont test for dmx or anything of that nature my friend is in the army rangers
[QUOTE=Mindtwistah;40656019]lol they test for barbs? In 2013?[/QUOTE] Not to mention PCP That shit's extinct
cool so the best drugs (psychedelics) don't even get tested for. Thats nice to know
[QUOTE=Mindtwistah;40644318]You should note that many people tell you to drink a lot of water every day until your test in order to clean out your urine. This is bullshit. The cannabinoids are released from your fat cells into your urine at a steady rate, drinking water won't flush the cannabinoids away from your fat. What you are doing is diluting the piss, and this is only necessary the day during the test.[/QUOTE] I've read in another guide that drinking a lot of water is not to flush the stored cannabinoids, but rather to purify your pee slightly so that the percentages of cannabinoids urinated decreases, thus decreasing the chance of getting caught.
[QUOTE=kherbyne;40661876]They dont test for dmx or anything of that nature my friend is in the army rangers[/QUOTE] [img]http://www.hiphopweekly.com/100303-newsite/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/DMX2.jpg[/img] [editline]16th May 2013[/editline] where da hood at
[QUOTE=Tools;40666637]I've read in another guide that drinking a lot of water is not to flush the stored cannabinoids, but rather to purify your pee slightly so that the percentages of cannabinoids urinated decreases, thus decreasing the chance of getting caught.[/QUOTE] Your pee won't be purified, it'll be diluted. And after you've flushed that water out it will return to normal cannabinoid levels, so it's pointless to do it before the test as it won't help shit.
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