The REAL fun guide to girls. - General

First of all, never ask women as to what you should do to be attractive. [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=863093[/url] ^ bad advice. Women give advice on what you should do be a good friend, not a potential mate. If a girl asked you how to be attractive, all you're going to say is smile often and be nice, but in reality you're thinking is wear something slutty and tone your stomach so I can be attracted to you. Guys would want a girl to be attractive (don't give me the "I'm shallow" bullshit - when you first meet a person you don't fucking think DAMN WHAT A GREAT PERSONALITY I'M LOOKING IT, it's the looks that grab the attention which might lead to the good personality - in addition, people who have a nicer personality are usually ugly, cause otherwise they would act like they're the shit - you may have noticed that as girls get older and they start putting on make up, they try to act all big, that's the jist of it) There are 3 types of attractive girls that you'll mostly note throughout highschool (don't worry though, even after high school a lot of them don't change). The hot dumb bitch - that one girl everyone wants to fuck the shit out of, and she knows it, but she always seems to go for the douche bag (explanation for later) The self-conscious shy cutie - the girl that actually looks good and isn't a bitch about it The girlfriend material - these are almost nonexistant, but if you do find one, godspeed - these are the girls that are actually fun, open to sex, aren't bitches who think that they're the shit. In this guide, I'll only refer to the hot dumb bitch, as the 2 other ones are usually an easy gain (if you can't do that, then get the fuck off your computer, and just go outside every day and walk in the street and look pretty girls in the eyes until you get some confidence to actually approach one) Now the "Why do girls always go for douchebags?" threads are pretty common on facepunch. 1) Almost no girl goes for douchebags 2) Only hot bitches go for douchebags 3) Hot bitches are only good for a fuck, but are otherwise boring as shit. The reason why the "douchebags" seem to get these girls all the time, is because douchebags aren't afraid of rejection. Girls like these "assholes" not because they're assholes, but because of the confidence that comes with it. A girl isn't going to like you if you sit at the back of the class and discuss star wars or some gay anime shit. 1) BRUSH YOUR TEETH LOL AND TAKE SHOWERS 2) That was a joke (but yeah you should already do that without any fucking advice you pig) 3) DO NOT ASK A GIRL OUT THAT YOU'VE NEVER TALKED TO 4) Make clear intent to the girl that you want a sexual contact with her - don't be blunt ex: She: Oh man, I loved that movie about the dinosaurs You: I like your tits BAD She: Oh man, I loved that movie about the dinosaurs You: The one with the girl from "The Shadows" She: Uuh, I don't know that one You: She looks like you a lot (bullshit) She: I don't know her You: Don't worry she's beautiful (I hate that fucking word, but it pushes on the girl's buttons) (make sure to look into her eyes as you say that, don't fucking turn away) She: Awwww shieet, lets fuck You: K GOOD 5) Learn to hook the girl Girls are suckers for first impressions (just like men are) so exploit this to the maximum. The first time you see a girl, have confidence (yes, that's a hard one, to improve on that one, work out, use cologne, or just convince yourself that you're the best shit in the world, it's easy just keep telling you're the best, and the girl wants you and you're doing her a favor by being with her). At first, it'll be hard pretending to be the shit, and the girl might try to give you shit. If a girl makes fun of you, cut her off, give her clear intent that you're the fucking man and won't tolerate her bullshit. But again, don't be blunt. Once you enter her shell, get the fuck out. If she sees you, just be short and subtle, walk upright and don't stare at her. She'll be confused as fuck, and she'll be pissed off as to why you were attracted to her before and not anymore. Don't completely ignore her though, as eventually she'll just eject you from her shell and 2nd entry is a lot harder. 6) TO get confidence, get drunk and go to clubs. If you get a lot of girls, then you'll be proud as fuck, if you don't, who cares, you drank and had a good fucking time. Reactions to this thread: 1) Girls - omg this isnt true my boyfriend is nice to me this is lies 2) Chivalrious facepunchers who are trying to score some points with some chicks on facepunch (ie losers) - this is a lie I am a guy I get girls and I am nice guy (P.S.: thats called a friend zone) 3) Clueless kid - Im going to treat everyone like shit now 4) People who actually tried this - It's crazy, but it works. Have fun [highlight](User was banned for this post ("parody thread" - garry))[/highlight]

needs more pictures (i did read the entire thing though)

Pictures of what

[QUOTE=FrontFuze;19024794]Pictures of what[/QUOTE] The type's of girls. And maybe how to look and not how to look?

[QUOTE=FrontFuze;19024794]Pictures of what[/QUOTE] girls... obviously.

[QUOTE=FrontFuze;19024794]Pictures of what[/QUOTE] Tits

[QUOTE=FrontFuze;19024664]you may have noticed that as girls get older and they start putting on make up, they try to act all big, that's the jist of it[/QUOTE] wtf how old are you, girls start putting on makeup in the lower teens, but otherwise, semi-decent thread.

well, listen here, u would not get girls this way. i know i have had many relationships and one in a metaphorical sense of the great world that we call life. it started when i was in the woods practicing shooting with my father's revolver... i accidentally shot a squirrel. his body fell to the grass and i ran over crying... i had killed nothing before that incident and i had to thank the lord himself that the squirrel died in 1 shot. from that day forward i vowed to use firearms as a more wise person would and bring a friend with you and give them a gun too so you both can watch out for each other -- and... the animals. i know this all to well, but for woman a different story. i was dating this girl called veronica. we would go to this special brdige and have sandwichs that i had to make because she didnt knolw hopw ,.tom maklejnm sandwhhjsbn sso we owudk'l,.d go there and talk and have fun, but opnem d.ayhn shent0old me ,slhe f0oiu d another ,/j.guy and this angered me becuahse twe wereb togethe rfoirmsao long bt i wamlshnjn smart and put my anger into shooting which is why im so good today.

i don't get drunk partly because of what happens the morning after but mostly because I don't drink

OP, picture of your girl friend please. This will prove that you're not talking out of your ass. [QUOTE=wepon;19024969]well, listen here, u would not get girls this way. i know i have had many relationships and one in a metaphorical sense of the great world that we call life. it started when i was in the woods practicing shooting with my father's revolver... i accidentally shot a squirrel. his body fell to the grass and i ran over crying... i had killed nothing before that incident and i had to thank the lord himself that the squirrel died in 1 shot. from that day forward i vowed to use firearms as a more wise person would and bring a friend with you and give them a gun too so you both can watch out for each other -- and... the animals. i know this all to well, but for woman a different story. i was dating this girl called veronica. we would go to this special brdige and have sandwichs that i had to make because she [b]didnt know how to make sandwiches[/b] so we [b]would go there[/b] and talk and have fun, [b]but one day she told me, she found another guy[/b] and this angered me [b]because we were together for so[/b] long [b]but i was[/b] smart and put my anger into shooting which is why im so good today.[/QUOTE] Cool story bro.

I have been enlightened. My journey to getting some pussy starts tomorrow! Thank you! :patriot:

[QUOTE=Touhou;19025114]I have been enlightened. My journey to getting some pussy starts tomorrow! Thank you! :patriot:[/QUOTE] Lol tell us your results.

[QUOTE=Howe;19025018]OP, picture of your girl friend please. This will prove that you're not talking out of your ass.[/QUOTE] This.

lol N/A

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;19025166]lol N/A[/QUOTE] dont worry im sure he has a REALLY good excuse

lol, men writing about how women think

What is a girl even why aren't there pictures what is this about?

this is a lie I am a guy I get girls and I am nice guy

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;19025166]lol N/A[/QUOTE] I know, you have so many girl friends, fighting on so many fronts, you can't take pictures of them all! right?

[QUOTE=wepon;19024969]well, listen here, u would not get girls this way. i know i have had many relationships and one in a metaphorical sense of the great world that we call life. it started when i was in the woods practicing shooting with my father's revolver... i accidentally shot a squirrel. his body fell to the grass and i ran over crying... i had killed nothing before that incident and i had to thank the lord himself that the squirrel died in 1 shot. from that day forward i vowed to use firearms as a more wise person would and bring a friend with you and give them a gun too so you both can watch out for each other -- and... the animals. i know this all to well, but for woman a different story. i was dating this girl called veronica. we would go to this special brdige and have sandwichs that i had to make because she didnt knolw hopw ,.tom maklejnm sandwhhjsbn sso we owudk'l,.d go there and talk and have fun, but opnem d.ayhn shent0old me ,slhe f0oiu d another ,/j.guy and this angered me becuahse twe wereb togethe rfoirmsao long bt i wamlshnjn smart and put my anger into shooting which is why im so good today.[/QUOTE] Bomb

Be a man, play hard to get at a girl, then sex her until she walks like a sloth.

Someone make a "The Image-Based fun guide to girls." thread.

tl;dr

This thread? 9/10 Much better advice. Still obvious but more in-depth.

This isn't the worst thread I've seen.

I like this one better then the other one.

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;19024993]i don't get drunk partly because of what happens the morning after but mostly because I don't drink[/QUOTE] your 12 and have never drank before is what you are saying

[QUOTE=BackOnCrack;19026347]your 12 and have never drank before is what you are saying[/QUOTE] No I'm saying I've drank before I just don't see what makes it so great doesn't taste good at all srs

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;19026413]No I'm saying I've drank before I just don't see what makes it so great doesn't taste good at all srs[/QUOTE] Doesn't taste good... :cawg: No shit.

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;19026413]No I'm saying I've drank before I just don't see what makes it so great doesn't taste good at all srs[/QUOTE] What makes it great is the social environment it creates when people who drink the substance get together. Being drunk effectivley makes you stupider in the sense your neurons fire at lower frequencies while intoxicated. This makes you and others more willing to do things you normally wouldn't do and usually you have a good time with even the simplest of things. Or did you think people drank vodka for it's delicious taste?